You'd have been proud.
I was once happily thrashing my bike through town... A fairly balmy summer's day, nothin out of the ordinary until I got onto a roundabout...

I was riding around it whe a lady in a green car (Nissan Primera) pulled along side me and "closed the door" on me.. Not just "oopsie" but RIGHT into me with the passenger door.. I take great pleasure in being able to predict stupidity in drivers, but this one had slipped under my radar.

*THUMP*

She had come right into my path with no notice, no right and no thought.. and I bounced off and accross a pavement into a wall.

Now... Having spent the entire day practicing for a downhill race and jumping/crashing over/into big things, this wan't really a bad collision for me... and besides, I was wearing Hard Nox body-armour and a full face Helmet... But still I got slightly riled at the fact that this woman had failed to stop. People stopped thier cars and were well on the way to see if I was ok... They must have through I was being a bit ungrateful as I picked the bike up and rode like the wind after the nissan...

I caught up with her at the next set of lights. (God Bless Huddersfield and the shite ring-road)

*pulls up next to open window*
"HEY!!! you DID just notice that you knocked me off my bike.. RIGHT???"
"No I didn't"
"Then how come your car has a scratch on it?"
"No it doesn't"
"Yes it does... right there... and the paint is still stuck in the end of my handlebar..."
"That could be from anything"
"do you knwo that failing to stop at the scene of an accient is a criminal offence?"

*lights changed and she tried to flee... but it's easy to hold on to cars and go with them...*

At this point I'd given up on the "talking to her" thing... all I'd wanted was an acknowledgment that she'd just sent me flying.

"Oh well Madam... It's been nice talking to you"

Sat level with the front left wing-mirror I raised one adrealine filled and tightly clenched fist, and thumoped her wing-mirror as hard as i could. It was left danglign by the wires that ran into it.. Smashed casing and glass.

She stared in shock as I tore it off completely.. and said "I don't know why you're upset... It's not as though you used it... "

Maybe it was a bit mean... But i really enjoyed it.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Tue 17 Oct 2006, 13:04, Reply)