i was sacked for being a shit, but a proud one
I used to work for a chain of pubs, Yates, and basically was a pump jockey for a couple of weeks until my duty manager realised that I could add up and I was a University student (it was a summer job) therefore, I could train to be a bar manager (meant I did the tills at the end of the night and worked a rota). The pay would go up, so I said what the heck.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, Blackpool's season is in full-swing. I loved working nights as I tended to get lots of tips from the ladies and I was good at making the cocktails (I always say that cocktail manufacture is like chemistry with sex-appeal). At the end of one such night we were told that since it had been so busy, we'd all have to muck in on the cleaning and the place needed to spotless at 2am.

Needless to say, due to the complete laziness of most employees and the lack of energy after a 10hour shift, 2am came round and the place still looked like a student bedroom.

We all beavered away and I noted on my timesheet that we finished at 2.45am. The timesheet was handed in and my wage packet the next thursday came and showed me working until 2am. Sure enough, the manager of the place informed me there had been ample time and tough, we were only paid until 2am.

I then waited until the Saturday, when I worked nights. Another busy night and come 2am, the place was a shambles. I asked the manager, loud and proud "Are we still being paid now?", the answer as expected was "No". I shouted a riot act at him and downed tools. I marched to the door and was told "don't come back".

I went in the next shift and the manager had a quiet word with me, regarding the fact that I will get paid for all hours I work, as long as I don't tell the rest of the staff. I kept my end of the bargain up, and so did he.

It was when I was shunted onto day-only shifts that I got a grievance. I then noticed that a blonde bimbo had been promoted to Night shift manager and I thought what the hell, so just got on with it, as the new Uni term was only a couple of weeks away.

One night, I was asked to work for someone who'd called in sick. I turned up for the shift and noticed that the blonde thing hadn't been seen for a while, so assumed the management role for a bit.

After a few hours, I needed change, so, stressed miffed off and completely irate I marched to the office and unlocked the door, completely oblivious at this point to the blonde being boned by two doormen and the manager (who were all naked).

I, still irate, oblivious, opened the safe and got my change. I then left, slammed the door to the office and then on my way back to the bar realised what had been going on in the office.

It was only then I had the genius idea to turn on the office security camera on the large screen projector that was showing the rugby. (I'd found out previously that the cctv screen behind the bar could be used to watch sky, so I knew that they were on the same circuit..)

Some families demanded to see the manager and licensee, to which I said certainly, madams/sirs. I telephoned the office and said that customers were complaining and needed to speak with him. Minutes later he appeared.

You may now imagine a load of irate parents, randy rugger buggers and crying children recognising the stars of the broadcast. The manager took one look at me as I walked out smiling with my coat on already.

Funny, I never did get paid for that last week of work there.

/apologies for the length, but I enjoyed every minute of it.
(lunus loves tizer, Thu 23 Feb 2006, 21:52, Reply)