Plan your meals for a week and shop online
Write out your meals for the week; breakfast, lunch and dinner. Shop online and buy specifically for the meals you've written down. You then don't spend/waste money on impulse buys (especially while hungry) in the supermarket and you also have ingredients which match and not go to waste during the week because you bought all the wrong things.

Do it this way means special offers are also easier to find and you're not spending money on petrol/diesel to travel to and from the crowded hell-hole they call the supermarket.

Some delivery slots are free of charge.
(ThatNiceMan thought he was being funny, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 15:46, 2 replies)

Buy foil and plastic takeaway-style cartons
No, I've not gone mental.

Cooking for two generates a lot of waste so cook for 6-8 (or more people) and then put the extra portions in a foil or plastic tub (depending on whether you'll reheat with the oven or a microwave.) Freeze the extras until when needed.

For a very small amount of extra effort (you were cooking anyway), you'll soon have dinners ready-made stocked up in the freezer, which is great because you can have a week living on them and just buy accompanying vegetables, which is a monster saving in time and money for that week.

We bought a second freezer to be able to make the most of this.
(ThatNiceMan thought he was being funny, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 15:40, 3 replies)

Save money on prostitutes
by persuading some girl to go out with you
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 15:37, 7 replies)

Use
Empty crisp packets rather than condoms. They more or less do the same thing and the salt and vinegar favored crisp packets are an experience your unlikely to forget.
( sutit only the crumbliest, flakiest posts, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 15:29, 8 replies)

download music illegally
but you didn't hear that from me
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 15:03, 3 replies)

Have lots of kids
Have lots and lots of the little knee cap biting blighters. Live off the child benefit you will get. I'm onto a winner with this - it is even in the Daily Mail.

The chances are, if you have many, at least one should become successful enough to support you in you old age - what a bonus!
( sutit only the crumbliest, flakiest posts, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 15:01, 2 replies)

Form a stronger bond with your Parents/In-laws..
Then impose on them for meals at least twice a week under the guise of friendship/love.

I recommend Sunday Lunch as the best value.
( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 15:00, 6 replies)

Can't afford expensive tennis lessons?
Practise your serve by swinging a cat around by it’s tail. Just try not to get filmed as The Sun will only get the wrong idea and have a field day over it.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 14:02, Reply)

If you smoke
and you're using these "throw-away-lighters", here's a tip: usually, the gas in these lighters is gone, but the flintstone is still sparkling. So, with your next lighter, use the flint of the empty one to light the gas from the new one, and so on, and so on. After some time, you will have an empty lighter with a brandnew flint on it.

Don't know what you would want to do with it, though, but it's a good tip, isn't it?.

Or just stop smoking to safe some money.
(Bassie999, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 13:57, 3 replies)

Cancel all your direct debits.
You'll then get a lot of letters from providers of various services and can easily decide which ones to keep, whilst the others will cancel themselves.

I saved £3 a month, this way. In 10 years, I might get some cocaine, or a hooker.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 13:56, 5 replies)

Computer Games
My Gamer Tag is Histemic. I've got prestige 10 on MW1, 7 tactical nukes on MW2 and can't afford MW3. Can't bring myself to play MW2/1, just reminds me what I'm missing. My substitute is playing miniclip 8 ball pool. Hopefully miniclip will ad a "hit with cue" feature.
(MC_Histamine, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 13:41, 8 replies)

FREE FESTIVALS
Get the inkstamp on your hand tattoed for years of readmittance
(tedweasel, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 13:40, Reply)

Don't have kids....
EVER!, seriously, get your nuts knackered and you'll save at least a 100K over your lifetime.
(repooc, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 13:30, 11 replies)

Washing line is way much cheaper than 600 paracetamols and can be fulfilled in just one single purchase.
Just make sure you don't use too much line for the drop or you'll end up like me in casualty with two broken ankles.
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 13:24, 3 replies)

I bought a bike
Using that instead of the car has saved me at least £600 purely on petrol money in the last couple of years. Unfortunately, most of those savings have now gone on a new, better, bike. This may be a false economy.
( MatJ LOOK, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 13:04, 7 replies)

Take longer steps.
Shoes will last longer.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:55, Reply)

Aldi
Buy a whole chicken, some veg, lentils/barley and some oven bread rolls from Aldi.

Make a nice roast Dinner with it on the Sunday.

Strip down the rest of the meat for your sandwiches/lunch at work.

Boil the carcass with an onion and a couple of carrots to make a stock. Chop all the remaining veg and then use the stock with some lentils to make a nice chicken soup and have it for your dinner with the oven bread rolls. I promise you’ll enjoy it – especially on a winter nights….

Near enough a weeks worth of good food for about £7

for a bargain price…
(Pat mustard, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:54, 8 replies)

Heating
Just put a jumper on. I never did understand my mum's obsession with central heating. It was bearable until she decided to have the entire house dry-lined, after which it became too hot even without the heating on.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:47, Reply)

Referral bollocks
I did some referral sites a few years back in passing where you signed up to a site, choose a gift and earn the required credits to get the gift by either a) completing and signing upto a few legit partners (ie bingo sites) and performing the requested tasks (spend a tenner to get 3 credits etc) or b) to give your designated link to others and they sign up and do at least one offer (giving you one credit for each one). I left it in my siggy for b3ta among other places and I was a bit of a prat nagging people to sign up a bit, but out of it I got an Xbox360 Arcade, a Wii and a DSi for next to fuck all effort, just answering the occasional PM about it.

A few months back I rechecked the site and saw I only needed 6 more for a 3DS, so I completed two offers (both cost me a tenner each) and finally got it confirmed this morning that I have enough for the 3DS, will post a pic once I got it. Offers done cost me approx £22 (one offer gave me a credit for spending 1 euro), time taken was a good few months, but it works :D
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:46, 9 replies)

Don't let the girlfriend move in.
I now have to buy this stuff called toilet paper.
I kid you not, i never really had to buy the stuff before. With taking most dumps at work, a roll would literally last months. A 6 pack.. a year!

Now its a 6 pack a month :(
Thats a lot of money going down the bog thats for sure.
(Boom- Clicks on NSFW links at work., Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:36, 11 replies)

Tesco 5p off a litre vouchers
Did you know you can use more than one at a time?
One store accepted three of these little beauties, bringing petrol down to £1.15 a litre.
(GingerIrishTosser isn't dead yet., Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:34, 3 replies)

don't bother with a tv license
instead just have a video recording of a chicken going around in a microwave ready to stick on should the tv license man come round.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:33, 9 replies)

Seems that one of the major recurring ideas is
the idea of looking after the pennies, not the pounds. Well, along with thieving stuff.

Anyway, I can vouch for the first. It's surprisingly worth while.

At home, beginning of last month we decided to see how much difference it made. During October we didn't do any of the usual things - buy Coffee / magazines, go to the pictures or eat out. It's not how we would normally live, and probably not how we will continue to live. We just wanted to know how much it all costs. This is me, wife and 2 kids.

The answer is, for us - £600. That's what we had left over, as opposed to normally having fuck all, or sometimes an overdraft.

Eye opener.
(username failed moderation, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:24, 7 replies)

If you're a light user of SKY TV like I am.
Who only really watches all the stuff you can mostly get for free anyway, check out whether the main channels you watch are on 'Freesat from SKY' (you can see a complete list on their website). If so, cancel your £20+ per month account and spend it on coke and kittens.

Once it's cancelled tell them you want it converting into a 'Freesat from SKY' service. Within minutes they will reprogram your viewing card and you'll be enjoying all the Freesat channels and a pile more that SKY air themselves.

Yea there are a few TV series we miss but I usually get them from the newsgroups a few days later. It's surprising what tripe people feel worthy of uploading onto the alt.binaries.tv group.

If you find you're desperately missing all the re-runs of Top Gear on Dave and shitty american sitcoms on SKY 1 SKY will occasionally spam you with 1/2 price offers (and better).
( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:13, 6 replies)

Money-saving tips
Don't sign up to money saving websites. Read them when you need something sure, but don's sign up for the news letters. As far as I can see they only try and convince to spend more money to achieve these great savings. My advice is buy what you need when you need it at the lowest price.

Other ways to save money are - cook at home, if you can not cook get a partner who can. Preferably a chubby one, they will be warm in bed so lower heating bills.

If you like drinking? I will give you the advice my doctor gave me when I going through a hard time and drinking a lot. Try drinking something else.

Don’t spend money on frivolous things.
(Free pens 100, 101, 102 is still counting on, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:01, 1 reply)

Save money on wining and dining potential life partners,
by becoming a serial rapist.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 11:52, 3 replies)

crap
I drive a 1.9 diesel Peurgeot 306. Hardly a speed machine and not by any stretch of the imagination new. The cunts at the insurance racketeers office have just quoted me 1100 quid to insure it with full no claims and off road parking.
I asked the disinterested goon on the phone if someone had inadvertently changed my address to Basra city centre or my name to Mr R Hammond or even if my age had been reset to 17 in some sort of twisted time travelling accident involving a Delorean, Christopher Lloyd and a stick of Doctor Whos celery but apparently not.
My insurance has sky rocketed according to the company policy spouting phone monkey because of all the claims being made by OTHER people. I wouldn't mind so much if i hadn't been with the same company for 12 years. Customer loyalty means sod all these days too it seems.

I will therefore be saving money by moving to another bunch of robbing twats. Fuck you Direct Line! I hope that your head office building burns down and your managing director catches syphilitic aids.
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 11:32, 24 replies)

Save money on expensive electrical items by stealing them from others.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 11:15, Reply)

Has anyone here born post 1950
heard of a budget?
& stuck to it?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 11 Nov 2011, 11:06, 9 replies)