Check Engine Malfunction Indicator Lamp come on in your car?
Take it to a garage and they'll charge you £40-£80 to plug it into their diagnostic tester- or you can buy one yourself for £15-£20 (look for 'ELM327-based') which can turn any PC with a USB or an RS232 serial port (check which you have before ordering) into a 'scan tool'-although for convenience probably better off with a laptop instead of a full-sized desktop. This should tell you exactly what's wrong with your engine and quite often it's something simple like an oxygen sensor which can be swapped simply with a large adjustable spanner- so long as you use anti-seize paste on the thread of the new one.

And then you've got one, you can use it on any of your mate's / families' cars. Works best on cars from 2001 onwards but some earlier cars will work with ISO9001 or KWP2000 or VPW- look up and see if your car is supported, there's plenty of sites on the 'net.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 10 Nov 2011, 19:41, 5 replies)

Ooo
that's useful. I had no idea they were so cheap :)
(richardm, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 12:05, closed)

Hang on...
That actually seems sensible and useful...that has no place in QotW, go on feck off, and take your scanning thingy with you!

I'm now going to google and find one of those......
(repooc, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 13:58, closed)

this is why I have my reputation
for being boring...

EDIT p.s. your story about Annoying Partners- almost word-for-word the same as someone I used to work with...excellent!
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 11 Nov 2011, 14:13, closed)

Didn't used to work at a company with "Cable" in the name did you?
Thanks, btw :-)
(repooc, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 15:12, closed)

No, with 'Rover' in the name.
So there are more than one of them about.... he'd even pick up on a popular 'XYZ' and then use it to tell ME 'Why don't we go and check XYZ' in front of management- sounded all masterful but it's standard first step procedure and he didn't even know HOW to do it.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 11 Nov 2011, 15:29, closed)

OooOooo
£12.15 - Bargain!
(repooc, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 15:18, closed)

I do that!
The very first time I used one, it saved me the money I spent on the netbook that I had to buy to do it.
( P-MONKE We're all fucked, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 16:54, closed)

you can even get ones that bluetooth to your windows smartphone
although th0se are not the 12.50 ones... apparently you can also get iPhone ones but I have no idea how to get an app on an iPhone without using their app store....
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 11 Nov 2011, 17:40, closed)

Top tip-pery.
click.
( Evil Bastardo, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 17:03, closed)