spain
"you see," our new neighbours at our holiday home in spain said wisely over the ice cube tray, "we drink. and we mean we Drink."

this turned out to mean bacardi and coke at 6am, only relaxing to wine and beer at 3pm in the afternoon. by 6pm his and hers gentle and not so gentle snoring could be heard rattling the communal wall. throughout the day, the pair of them sat on the terrace attempting to suck in random passers-by.

this, however, was only the tip of the ice cube. heavily into loud alternative sexual practices, he invited my father in and then tried to watch porn with him. er - they are both 60, not 16. then they invited my parents to a swingers' party. given that she could run her own gurning academy and that he is twice as bad, with a penchant for nutcracking speedos, my parents could not decide who would have been the worse off.

as if this weren't bad enough, they are seriously into nudism. fat, old, wrinkly alcoholics are not a good look. watching them pack for a trip to a nudist colony was hilarious - they only packed booze!

getting sucked onto their balcony is the worst thing. you cannot escape the sexual innuendo and the boring repetitive drunken conversations. not ever. especially when she is home alone - she likes to get workmen or similar in her lair of doom.

ugh. i need a bath. in lysol or something.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 31 Aug 2005, 11:19, Reply)