a load of bollards
my brother, who is a cunt, really doesn't like me. he never has. he has spent a lifetime torturing me. sometimes, though, i get my own back.
one winter, when i was about 8, it snowed really hard. all the kids were outside building snowmen, except my brother. he would wait until someone had finished building a snowman, then he would run over and kick it to pieces. i've always believed that what goes around comes around, so i set a little trap.
while he was inside having lunch, i was busy in the carpark. i built a lovely snowman. well, partly snow, but mostly iron bollard. it took me about ten minutes to cover the bollard completely and convincingly.
just as i finished my trap, my brother finished his lunch and came back outside, determined to deliver more reebok-related mayhem.
spying my snowman, he gleefully ran up to it and, despite my heartfelt pleas for him not to kick it, he drew back his foot and let fly.
the agonized scream that issued from his lips moments later made the 3-week grounding that followed completely worthwhile. frosty may have been broken, but so were 3 of my arse-hat of a brother's toes. i may not be strong, but i definitely got the brains in my family!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 22:46, 7 replies)

Titter
ye not! Good stuff!
( Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 22:59, closed)

he's still an utter tit
we're expecting snow tomorrow, i may have to build a snowman for old times' sake...
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 20 Dec 2009, 1:57, closed)

Reebok related mayhem
Beautiful!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Mon 21 Dec 2009, 15:58, closed)

revenge
is a dish best served solid apparently. hahahaha. have a click
(thebarkingdog, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 3:35, closed)

he's still a tit
i had to fight the urge to stab him in the eye with a fork today. i'm so glad i was only visiting!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 21:14, closed)

Shame it wasn't a moving bollard
Then it would of done some of that walking in the air nonsense too.

I'd like that. You should edit it in.
( Dervel OTBC, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 13:38, closed)

i could
but that would be lying :(
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 21:13, closed)