Moped riding shitehawks
When I lived in Kent some years ago, the local pre teen chavvy fanny products used to ride their (usually stolen) mopeds up and down a field where I walked my dogs. They kept away from me as my (remaining, I had two at the time) GSD is pretty hysterical when it comes to being mobbed by moped riding cunts and has to be muzzled for fear of savaging the lot of 'em. The sprogs realised pretty quickly that the dogs could run faster than they could ride, should I have chosen to let them chase them (not that I ever would, I love my dog/s too much to put them/him in a situation like that.) They buzzed every other person using the field with great joy and shouts of abuse tho, and soon it became a real problem.

However one day they decided the field was old hat and took to riding up and down the pavement of the road I lived on. Many a time I had to leap out of the way (they never did it when I had the dogs with me, I wonder why). I felt it prudent - me versus kid on a moped heading straight for me - well, I'm not fucking stupid, I jumped to avoid them. The residents reported them to the police countless times who of course showed up long after they had gone and never did a thing about it.

One day I decided I'd had enough. I waited in my porch until I heard them coming along, made sure they were indeed tearing up and down the path, and as one passed by I rushed out and pushed my wheelie bin into their path.
The little shit couldn't brake quick enough, couldn't get off the pavement as cars were lining the road, and promptly plowed straight into it, dropped the 'ped and fell off into a hedge.

I laughed my fucking head off. I pointed and laughed and laughed some more when the little darling emerged with a bloody nose. I laughed as he approached me, and I laughed as he took a swing at me, dodged it and kicked him in the knee joint. I laughed as he went down for the second time in as many minutes. Oh, how I laughed as he turned tail and staggered off at the sight of a very angry woman looming over him as he lay on the pavement, a woman plainly in a position to kick the shit out of him when he was down.

They didn't do it again outside my house. They did it on the other side of the road instead. Until the people living there took to doing the same as I did with their bins. The 'ped riders moved on pretty sharpish after a few mangled peds and cuts and brusies. Result.
(womanwhocanonlylivewithdogs, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 17:21, 2 replies)

Excellent!
Cheered me right up that, have a click. :)
( Jimbuktu See? Right here, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 22:11, closed)

And a click from me too
Bravo!
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Mon 21 Dec 2009, 22:56, closed)