Bless'em
Women should not be allowed to work. They say that a woman’s work is never done. Well, if they stopped cocking gossiping all day then perhaps they might. The women in my office do my nut in. They spend about 6 hours out of every 8 gossiping about how pissed they got at the weekend, of some lethario that bothered to chat them up, about how all men are bastards, how ‘her in accounts’ is a bitch before being nice as pie to their face, make-up, diets and how they can’t seem to lose weight (whilst simultaneously munching on a bag of Sensations) and how men don’t know what it’s like to have a little monthly visitor (no, we’re men; we don’t have the equipment). Same thing with childbirth: no, we don’t know how painful it is, just as you don’t know how fucking painful it is to be kicked in the love spuds. Deal with it and move on.
Oh and Facebook. They spend half their day either logging on to Facebook or talking about Facebook. Telling each other their status for the last six months even though those people can actually read it themselves when they get home.
They love being so independent and empowered, love the impressive sounding job titles but cry whenever something goes wrong that thus requires a bollocking.
Women are also crap drivers (why is it that 99% of those that drive 4x4s are women??). I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve had to slam all on because a woman has just pulled out of a junction without looking (why would they when the universe revolves around them?). Or had to beep at them because they’re touching up their make-up in the rear view mirror. And yet they still want a Mini, a Beetle or a sports car, invariably a soft top because they love to pose with the top down. And why is that the women who drive said convertibles are invariably blondes and all wear the same shitty WAG sunglasses?
Oh, and Man Flu. It doesn’t exist. When it was announced on our local news channel that Swine Flu had hit my little corner of Yorkshire, within ten minutes three women had gone home. I kid you not! How many men? None. Zero. Nada. When we have a heavy cold we go to work (a male colleague of mine is in work at the moment after the spending the last week with a temperature in the 100s) and we don’t spend all day banging on about it. Neither do we spend a ton of cash on pointless pills and potions
And the toilet seat. We leave it up because in this age of gender homogenisation, leaving it up is the last bastion of maleness that we have left
And breathe.
Sorry girls, I’m not a raving misogynist - half my closest friends are of the female genre and they’re ace - it’s just that the women I have to work with are pains in the arse and offer a somewhat blinkered view. Please don’t hate me!
(Ghostlight, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 15:14, 4 replies)

I smell a rant

(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 15:17, closed)

Phew
I know. Rant over. I love the ladies and I fully appreciate that us blokes can be total wankers as well!
(Ghostlight, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 15:19, closed)

Question for you
Are you me?
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Mon 4 Jan 2010, 17:51, closed)

I think
I work in the same place as you.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Mon 4 Jan 2010, 23:29, closed)