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This is a question My sex misconceptions

Freddy Woo writes, "aged eight, a boy from my class told me everything these was to know about sex: male prostitutes are called destitutes and women use tampons to stop men sticking their willies up them. Also, women pee out their bums, something I didn't realise was wrong until I was about 18 and my first girlfriend looked at me aghast."

Share everything - Uncle B3ta wants to know.

zero points for conception/misconception jokes

(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:54)
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SEX MAKES YOU PREGNANT!!!111!!eleventy one!!!
Mythconception. Maybe it does when you're 17 and paranoid. When you're in your thirties and your biological clock is ticking like a Death Watch beetle, all the semen in the world doesn't seem remotely interested in getting anywhere near your cervix. The sperm are half-heartedly swimming in circles thinking "can I be assed to go further? Can't we just mill about here enjoying the ambient cosiness of the vagina?"

They don't tell you that in school. They imply that if a boy breathes on you intimately then you'll be with child. They don't tell you about windows of fertility and ovulation and cervical mucus.

I steal children instead.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 16:09, closed)
Do you eat them
or just throw them hard at trees?
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 16:11, closed)
I keep them in my cellar
they perform menial tasks for me on Thursdays when I'm busy being naked.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 16:12, closed)
Do they shit on your chest on Saturdays?
If not, do you need someone to do that?
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 16:19, closed)
I've made people pregnant...

Just by looking at them. I have a potency level in the next stratosphere.

I also only produce beautiful blond haired, blue eyed, High IQ Aryan master-race children

Makes me shudder to think of the amount of perfect cock cream I have wasted into tissues when I could have sold it to desperate couples and had an army of pooflakes takinover the world...hey ho.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 16:16, closed)
are you free next weekend?
I think I'm ovulating then. If you're busy, just send a jar in the post or something.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 16:22, closed)
Can you imagine...
the love child of CHCB and Pooflake?

Holy B3tans, Batman!
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 18:40, closed)
I hope it has his face,
my legs,
and a combined superlove of puns.
And will be born to the strains of Stan Ridgway's "Camouflage".
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 19:30, closed)
Then maybe he'll grow up to be an awfully big marine.

Who makes god awful puns.

A bit like Arnold Swar Schwarz, Arnold the governor of california.
(, Fri 26 Sep 2008, 8:30, closed)

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