My sex misconceptionsFreddy Woo writes, "aged eight, a boy from my class told me everything these was to know about sex: male prostitutes are called destitutes and women use tampons to stop men sticking their willies up them. Also, women pee out their bums, something I didn't realise was wrong until I was about 18 and my first girlfriend looked at me aghast."
Share everything - Uncle B3ta wants to know.
zero points for conception/misconception jokes
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chthonic, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:54)
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Rebecca Loos need not ApplyI have two prominent memories of sex misconceptions from my primary school days.
The fist was mine. I thought sex lasted a whole 24 hours (probably from reading the World Book that said something like "sexual arousal can last up to 24 hours", I also looked up fingering but surprisingly it yielded no results). Some of the "cool" girls were talking about some story one of them had read in their Mum's Bella magazine about a woman who had been kidnapped and raped three times over the course of a "25 hour ordeal". Now I knew rape was forced sex but the conflicting time-frames made my tiny mind implode. I had to reconsult the World Book.
The second was the boys in my class, they all looked to one boy who lived on a farm, in spite of which he still wasn't wise to the method of sexual reproduction (heaven knows what he thought the pigs were up to). He had the entire class of boys convinced that you impregnated a female through "shifting"* We also had a female teacher who was admittedly hot.
When we were in 5th class (11ish) there was a small kitchen fitted in our school and we were given a few baking classes. The Farmer's son, let's call him Derek, decided that he was going to get the hot teacher pregnant and have her come help him with his pigs. The girls were quite shocked to think he was going to try to have sex with the poor woman with his pig-poo hands all over her. That was until we saw him open up a freshly baked bun and gob right into it and replace the lid.
The boys were all excited about the prospect, the girls were speechless. He went on to explain to this rapt audience that you don't actually need to kiss that it's the saliva that contains the baby making properties.
*so obvious I'm Irish!
(, Tue 30 Sep 2008, 19:17, 5 replies)
Did you mean to write "The fist was mine"?Because when I initially read that I was expecting an entirely different story.
But that may just be due to my foul mind. And I liked your story nevertheless. Have a click.
(, Tue 30 Sep 2008, 23:46, closed)
Yep!I shall leave it unedited in you honour
(, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 6:55, closed)
ahhhMy Irish cousin used to say 'shift'...what times we had.
WARNING: Reply may contain a mixture of truth and lies in disproportionate amounts.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 9:23, closed)
DictionariesWas talking to my husband last night about this, turns out we both tried looking up shift in the dictionary and came to the same conclusion that loose fitting dresses had something integral to do with the sex act. Who says you know everything about each other after 9 years eh?
There was another term for snogging going around for a while which was worse "to meet" someone. Plenty of "hilarious" misunderstandings: "I'm meeting my Dad outside" I'm convinced it was only invented to give stupid people ammunition.
(, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 12:00, closed)
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