Its late in the day.
I have a History test tomorrow that I cant be arsed to revise for and I am looking for a distraction. Woo, I'll post here.

Back in the throws of 2001 the day after 9/11 to be precise. I was a sweet innocent 16 year old virgin Bam Bam. I had recently become attached formally to a young lady, whom I went to army cadets with. We had been together some weeks and had been indulging in various stages of nakedness, without ever having my hoo hoo dilly actually penetrating her cha cha.

Anyway one day as per usual for a school day, she came back to mine and we departed for my bedroom. We watched a little TV, maybe played a little PlayStation, did our homework... Pfft yeah right, we snogged with dribbley wet tongues and got naked as was standard and fondled each other's intimate bits.

Somehow the gods were smiling on me that day and for some reason she ended up on her hands and knees in front of me, while I put all manner of body parts in her that were not my johnson. Things were looking good. I had attempted to breach the pink castle gate with my beef battering ram several times only to be repelled by the armies of her teenage nervousness, yet here I was rubbing my stupidly over excited member on her lady bits suggestively and hopefully.

'It wont fit' She said fairly confidently.

'Yeah it will' I replied knowing apart from the fact vaginas are designed to accommodate penises; she wasn't exactly going to clip any cigars with that thing,* even as a 15 year old virgin lass (Yes I am technically a paedo). Also I'm not exactly in the John Holmes department in the man meat butcher shop.

'No it wont, its too tight' She insisted again. Who did she think she was kidding!

'Ok then can I try it?' I asked tentatively, my knees shaking and my palms sweating.

'Ok'

I didn't need asking twice, I tried to push my member into her lady bits but was foiled by my old chap having second thoughts. SHIT SHIT SHIT! Come on! I gave him a little rub got the blood in the right spots again and went for a second try. SHIT SHIT SHIT! She is dry as a bone now! A quick application of spittle (god I am an amazing lover) and we're ready for the off. I wiggle the ol'fella about working him in, adjusting my angles like a doctor performing open heart surgery. Finally all is right and... push! *slight queef* I'm in.

There was a stunned silence for a second.

'Shall we finish?' I ask.

'Erm... Ok, might as well'

SUCCESS!

15 seconds later I had lost my V plates and successfully debunked the misconception that it wouldn't fit.

*At that stage my reference was solely porn, but I later discovered by expanding my spank bank and having a mini reunion with the ex, she has what is technically known as; 'a huge fanny'. A wizards yawn or a hippo's sleeve if you will.
(Bam Bam McPenis will change all this when he is fuhrer., Thu 2 Oct 2008, 6:19, 2 replies)

A whole 15 seconds?
you demon, you!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 2 Oct 2008, 13:41, closed)

You saw the foreplay technique
I am a sex god! I'll also have you know I'm often up to a full two minutes now. Sting is shitting himself.
(Bam Bam McPenis will change all this when he is fuhrer., Thu 2 Oct 2008, 15:28, closed)