Food poisoning
I got food poisoning, I did what I normaly do when I do get any stomache type bug and stopped eating for 24 hours. Only drunk water. and lots of it.

I ended up with "water poos". My poo was basicly dirty water. 2 bad things about this:

1) Shitting water is more painful than a curry poo. FACT!

2) When you have "water poo" Never, ever, everevereverever fart unless you are sitting on a toilet. There's nothing to hold "it" back. You fart, you follow through, your need to buy a new pair of trousers.

Only time I have shit myself and I don;t plan to repeat it.
( Crap Little Monkey can't type, can't spell, no grammer, no 'shop, Fri 28 Mar 2008, 10:23, closed)

I had the very same
After some dodgy BBQ meat from Tesco's 2 years ago. I too made the mistake of attempting a small fart with disastrous results!

I also only got approx 2 hours sleep at a time through waking up and needing to take a piss.... out of my ass!!

(but my GP prescribed me some kickass painkillers to try and constipate me a little...woo-hoo!)
(Hunkychunkylovemonkey hasn't masturbated since, Fri 28 Mar 2008, 10:37, closed)

Bin there mate
Seriously uncool.
( Raindance murdering Hendrix classics on, Fri 28 Mar 2008, 13:01, closed)