Here's another
How do you impregnate a mexican?
Spunk on her feet and leave the flies to the rest.
( Jeccius Oops, finished MW2 already :p, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 10:49, Reply)

sorry if they're already on here...
whats black and blue and hates sex?

the rape victim in the back of my car


what does michael jackson like about thirtyfive yearolds?

theres thirty of them
(5lab, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 10:46, Reply)

what's pink and silver and runs around screaming?
A child with forks in its eyes
(lat297, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 10:45, Reply)

What's the difference...
...between a truck load of marbles and a truck load of dead babies?

You can't unload the marbles with a pitch fork.
(arawn, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 10:44, Reply)

If this has been posted before, you should be ashamed!
What's pink and stiff in the morning?
Cot death.
(BobMonkhouse is a lacist, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 10:43, Reply)

Here's my ten pence worth
Q. How do you kill 10 flies with a Frying Pan?

A. Hit an Ethiopian in the face with it!
(Spenglebert Humptyback, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 10:42, Reply)

The World's Sickest Joke:
Vanilla Coke?
(DayvidBerdo, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 10:40, Reply)

Sorry
What's the difference between Jill Dando and a white shirt?

The white shirt survived the door step challenge!
(lordironlung, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 10:39, Reply)

Long long time ago I heard this :P
Rabbi and a Rasta at the bus stop

Rasta: When's the bus due?
Rabbi: Fuck off, you black bastard!
(foolish_child, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 10:36, Reply)

Girls
How do you know if your little sister is ON




Your dad's cock tastes different.


single to Hull please. Yes, direct.
(t3d on FTLFM now http://83.149.101.8:8070/listen.pls, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 10:33, Reply)

What's the difference...
...between a woman and a computer?

You can punch information into a computer


...between Londoners and Smarties?

Smarties don't melt in the tube (after Kings X fire).


What's blue and doesn't fit?

A dead epileptic


What's the only bit of a vegetable you can't eat?

The wheelchair

I think I'll stop now
( randompunter, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 10:33, Reply)

What's small, red & screams a lot?
A peeled baby in a bucket of salt
( charlieroker, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 10:26, Reply)

Mmmm
What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?

... full.
(Mrs Wilson, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 10:25, Reply)

not really a sick joke, but...
what's the difference between going down on your bird, and a tackle from behind?

when you go down on your bird, you can see the cunt coming
(flashman1234, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 10:21, Reply)

What do you get if you put a baby in a blender?
A hard-on.
(thrain, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 10:12, Reply)

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing. You've already told her twice.

/Shaun Ryder
( chobb ,ø¤ºGREATº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRAPISTº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRECOMMENDEDº¤ø, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 10:03, Reply)

Surprised this one hasn't come up yet
A 12 year old boy comes home from school and says to his mother "I had sex with my french teacher today". His mother is dumbfounded and sends him to his father for a stern telling-off.
So the boy tells his father the same thing. Hearing this the father beams with pride and says "Well done son. I think you're now old enough to ride your big brother's bike". "I can't" said the boy "my arse hurts too much".
(Agent Buckwald, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 10:02, Reply)

.
Whats the similarity between Ayrton Senna and Freddie Mercury?

They've both had blood on their helmet
(thrain, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 10:01, Reply)

#define oldjoke
Little Johnny walks into the bathroom when his mother is in the shower.
"Mummy mummy! What's that between your legs?"
"Umm ... that's where daddy hit me with an axe."
"Ooooo! Right in the cunt!"
As told with my father and a select few maiden aunts standing behind me at my brother's 11th birthday party.
( Dr. Shambolic loverable rouge, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 9:57, Reply)

ooh another one
how do you make a 7 year old cry twice?

Wipe the blood off your cock onto her favourite teddy bear

kind of making myself feel ill....
(northern seth back is giving him jip again, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 9:56, Reply)

Oh Dear. . .
What's better than winning a gold at the Paralympics?

Walking
(le renard, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 9:56, Reply)

dunno if this has already been said...
but here goes...

whats the difference between paula radcliffe and Hitler?

At least Hitler tried to finish a race
(northern seth back is giving him jip again, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 9:53, Reply)

Whats blue and orange and sits on the bottom of a pool?
A baby with slashed arm bands.


Whats red and orange and floats on the top of the pool?

Arm bands with slashed baby.
(monsta, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 9:52, Reply)

Wow! A joke that's not been repeated. Repeatedly.
What do you call a supermodel with a yeast infection?
Quarterpounder with cheese.
(fogbat, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 9:48, Reply)

What goes "Boing... clunk! Boing... clunk!"
The Easter bunny with polio.
( Bad Horsey, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 9:45, Reply)

Two Immigrants...
Applogies if this has already been posted!

Two Afganistani brothers, Mohammed and Tariq, emigrate to the USA, and decide that they want to become fully fledged members of the Greatest Nation on Earth. So they make a bet; they'll meet up in a years time, and the most American wins.

A year later, they meet up in a Texas steakhouse. Mohammed arrives first, and not long after, Tariq appears wearing a full cowboy outfit. "Hey buddy", calls over Tariq, "I've got me a job in oil, an SUV, and I've just married former Playboy Playmate. Well gee wizz, I just know I've won the bet".

"Fuck off towelhead", replies Mohammed.
(DayvidBerdo, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 9:44, Reply)

how do you stop an Ethiopian from drowning?
throw them a Polo (mint)
(I_AM_MY_EVIL_TWIN_SELF, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 9:44, Reply)

Heard about the gay barbecue?
All the hot dogs tasted like shit.
(The Pink Strat Copy, Fri 10 Sep 2004, 9:40, Reply)