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This is a question Real-life slapstick

Fact: When someone walks into a lamp-post it makes a very satisfying and hugely hilarious "Ding!" noise. However, it is not quite so funny when the post is in the middle of town and you are the victim. Tell us about hilarious prat-falls.

Thanks to Bob Todd for the suggestion

(, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 12:07)
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The squash-racket cyclist spang.
I've posted this before on \talk, but fuck it, you lot can have it too.

this story is from my postdoc at UCL, many years ago. Well, about 6. UCL has some squash courts on Huntley St, and to get there from the Biochem Eng buildings you must cross Gower St at Torrington Place. Gower St is a three lane, one-way, southbound road that is parallel to Tottenham Court Road. Of this information, only the three-lane, one way part of it is important.

Two colleagues of mine were wandering back from from a squash game when I spied them on the other side of Gower St and shouted a suggestion of a beer. As good pedestrians (fuck it, it was rush hour) they waited for the lights to change and crossed on the green man. At this point the game was still apparently being dissected. One of them decides to demonstrate a particularly beautiful backhand. Just as a cyclist, approaching through the stationary traffic between lanes 1 and 2, decides "fuck it, red lights don't apply to me, I'm a cyclist!" and jumps the lights..... racket straight in the face. I swear it lifted him clean off his bike. It certainly dumped him in a bloody and broken heap on the floor in the middle of the junction.

I'm still giggling slightly now, the fucking idiot. An actual Spang. In my mind, it made that noise. I think it might of actually been more of a crunch in real life though.
(, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 15:23, closed)
I love your mate.
Cyclists are twatty fuckwits.

I had one nearly try to spark me the other day, because I had the audacity to cross a pedestrian crossing on the green man.

"YOU EVER SEEN A CYCLIST DIE FROM BEING HIT BY A CAR?!" he screamed.

"No." I replied.

"WELL I HAVE - IT'S NOT NICE!" he yelled.

"Is that why you're not wearing a helmet?" I enquired.

"CUUUUNT!" he screamed at me, and cycled off.
(, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 15:32, closed)
^ this
I hate cyclists thinking they have different laws to all the other traffic. Servved him right!

*Clicks*
(, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 15:35, closed)
*click*
Brilliant!

Why is it cyclists (and most pedestrians tbh) think the highway code is just for motorists?
(, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 15:40, closed)
After walking and cycling in london for 3+ years
I reckon most motorists consider themselves exempt too.
(, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:10, closed)
real life spangs = win
awesome *clicks*
(, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 15:50, closed)

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