The squash-racket cyclist spang.
I've posted this before on \talk, but fuck it, you lot can have it too.

this story is from my postdoc at UCL, many years ago. Well, about 6. UCL has some squash courts on Huntley St, and to get there from the Biochem Eng buildings you must cross Gower St at Torrington Place. Gower St is a three lane, one-way, southbound road that is parallel to Tottenham Court Road. Of this information, only the three-lane, one way part of it is important.

Two colleagues of mine were wandering back from from a squash game when I spied them on the other side of Gower St and shouted a suggestion of a beer. As good pedestrians (fuck it, it was rush hour) they waited for the lights to change and crossed on the green man. At this point the game was still apparently being dissected. One of them decides to demonstrate a particularly beautiful backhand. Just as a cyclist, approaching through the stationary traffic between lanes 1 and 2, decides "fuck it, red lights don't apply to me, I'm a cyclist!" and jumps the lights..... racket straight in the face. I swear it lifted him clean off his bike. It certainly dumped him in a bloody and broken heap on the floor in the middle of the junction.

I'm still giggling slightly now, the fucking idiot. An actual Spang. In my mind, it made that noise. I think it might of actually been more of a crunch in real life though.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 15:23, 5 replies)

I love your mate.
Cyclists are twatty fuckwits.

I had one nearly try to spark me the other day, because I had the audacity to cross a pedestrian crossing on the green man.

"YOU EVER SEEN A CYCLIST DIE FROM BEING HIT BY A CAR?!" he screamed.

"No." I replied.

"WELL I HAVE - IT'S NOT NICE!" he yelled.

"Is that why you're not wearing a helmet?" I enquired.

"CUUUUNT!" he screamed at me, and cycled off.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 15:32, closed)

^ this
I hate cyclists thinking they have different laws to all the other traffic. Servved him right!

*Clicks*
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 15:35, closed)

*click*
Brilliant!

Why is it cyclists (and most pedestrians tbh) think the highway code is just for motorists?
( snee held his breath since, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 15:40, closed)

After walking and cycling in london for 3+ years
I reckon most motorists consider themselves exempt too.
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:10, closed)

real life spangs = win
awesome *clicks*
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 15:50, closed)