it started on a networking site,
and has pretty much ended on one too. I've yet to work out where I made the mistake though...

About 5 years ago, at the bottom of a bottle of vodka, my flatmate signed me up to faceparty. It’s full of dreadful people, and I soon deleted my profile. However, in the days whilst the fascination was still sucking me in, I had stumbled upon the most wonderfully eloquent and enchanting person.

Over 9 months of email and msn banter, I believed that I had found my soul mate.

And in the flesh, he was even more captivating.

A further 3 years on an emotional rollercoaster taught us that we did not work in a girlfriend-boyfriend type way; I loved him to the ends of the earth, but knew he could not be trusted and consequently our relationship was untenable. So we broke up.

We managed to find our way back to a near perfect friendship; I had a confidante and companion who helped me though some tough times. Until his girlfriend (or fiancée, as I was recently informed) banned him from any contact with me. I don’t really understand why, since I was not any threat to what they have. I had realised long ago that we work best as friends and nothing more.

I still get the occasional email; there is never any text, merely a link to something or a picture. Momentarily the lost, broken part of my soul that is wondering around looking for him feels comforted.

OK, and I admit that once every couple of months I look at his facebook page, too. But I feel like I have no place to be there and guiltily start checking to see if anyone is watching me...
( kitsune-tsuki tankeløst hode får lettest sove, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 17:22, 3 replies)

That's a bit deep for a website that doodles goatsees
It'll take a while but you'll move on, chin up :)
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 17:42, closed)

I feel for you...
In fact that just made me cry.

Although we didn't meet on the net my story is similar. When we met (under strange and not ideal circumstances, both of us having just come out of long relationships and still living with our exes) it was like how people fall in love in the movies, and until then I hadn't believed that was really possible... we both felt like we'd come home... until we started sharing a home.

We couldn't understand why we just couldn't manage a relationship when we loved each other so much. I still can't, really. But it was, as you say, an emotional rollercoaster. We wanted each other with a passion, still do, but it just doesn't work. So we broke up. Twice. First time it was my decision, second time (a couple of months ago) it was his. After the first break up we stayed friends. It was torture. So now he has decided to break off contact with me because it's just too painful.

There's a huge 'him' shaped hole in my life.

Recently he de-friended me on facebook because, he said, he kept checking my page all the time, torturing himself. So now the lost and broken part of MY soul that is wandering around looking for him gets no comfort... none at all... I still look at his friends list and wonder who he's doing what with... and feel left out and jealous.

We agreed after our first break up that if neither of us had met anyone else by the time I'm 40 we'll get married. I bumped into him the other day... time went into slow motion and I lost control of my body... but we talked, and he said even if I HAVE met someone else, we're getting married on my 40th birthday, and by then he'll be bigger and stronger and will fight anyone he has to.

Eight years... and counting...
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 20:09, closed)

Know exactly how you feel
I know exactly how you feel; going through something similar.

Met my soul mate on line and then for real. She was and is everything I wanted to be but now things are slowly falling apart and yet I still wait for the messages and the brief bit of joy I get from them and it's heartbreaking.

I'm sure everything will turn out ok for you.
(Rev O'Lucian will unfortunatly age on, Tue 16 Sep 2008, 16:42, closed)