Yawn, not another fucking rugby story.
My school had a very long and distinguished rugby history being, as it was, quite a posh grammar school. As a posh grammar school many of my fellow students were posh inbreds from posh rugby playing familys who's qualifications for entrance into such a fine educational establishment were based more on their parents willingness to pay a fucking fortune to put them through the preparatory department than on their actual propensity for academia. I however came from the scummy shithole school on the other side of town and, although aware of the existence of a game called rugby had never played it nor watched it. I had seen some American football games on the telly though, this lead to me being severely castigated by the games teacher (we didn't have PE, I think that is only for working class oiks) for "sacking" some poor kid on the "line of scrimmage" within the first 5 minutes of my first rugby lesson.
Anyway apologies for the overlong preamble, turned out I was quite good at rugby because I was "a bit mental" and as such was selected for the school team. Still not too hot on the rules, within 10 minutes of the kick off I palmed off an opposition played on my way to the try-line....I wondered why I was in the end zone celebrating my touchdown on my own when I was beckoned over by the referee (also my vice principal) and sent off. Turns out you are not allowed to palm off with a closed fist to the (now broken) nose. I became the first ever player in over 150 years to be sent off for my school's team.

2 weeks later I became the second ever player in my school's illustrious 150 rugby history to be sent off. Kicking in the balls is also not allowed in rugby for those of you unfamiliar with the sport.

The next week I was sent to join the rest of the people deemed unfit to participate in team sports and spent the rest of the term doing cross country.
(Figmaus, Sat 21 Apr 2012, 0:21, 2 replies)

they didn't bother teaching spelling or punctuation though?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sat 21 Apr 2012, 15:17, closed)

Why would they need to?
When that's clearly what you have been put on this earth for.
(Figmaus, Sat 21 Apr 2012, 21:26, closed)