she nailed the landing.
About a decade ago a group of us (friends, friends of friends, friends of friends of friends etc) were in the park- enjoying the sunshine, drinking beer and eating burnt yet raw meat from a bbq. Games were suggested and games were played. Touch rugby lasted all of 5 minutes before we all agreed it was shit and started playing football instead.

It was quite unofficial; more 'us lot here versus you lot over there' than an actual picking of sides, so there was a fair mix of people on each side ranging from people who could actually kick a ball and make it curve, to those who were there to simply bolster the numbers. I would put myself somewhere in the middle.

At one point the ball came to me and as I looked up the 'pitch' seemed remarkably clear in front of me so I trotted off on a little run. A dozen or so yards ahead of me was a female player of the other team and to proceed on my way to 'Barnes vs Brazil' individual glory I would have to get past her.

I sold her what I believe to be known in the trade as 'a dummy'. I dropped my left shoulder as if I was heading that way, when in fact I wasn't!! haha!! She bought it completely!! Unfortunately as she was in the 'number bolstering' section of the talent pool, rather than thinking 'he's heading to my right, I'll go that way and intercept' she actually thought something along the lines of 'Shit!! get out of his way!!' before unleashing a shrill yelp and jumping out of my way.

Or at least the way she THOUGHT I was going.

This is how all the other park users came to hear a scream and turned to seek out the origin of it just in time to see me ram my shoulder into her at about hip height whilst she was in midair, sending her cartwheeling over me and into the ground wrist first, and pretty soon after, head second.

She had broken her forearm and received a concussion. I was cunt of the week. I hung about long enough to see her placed into the back of an ambulance crying but it seemed no one really wanted to play on anymore and were calling me all kinds of names so I went down the pub.
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Sat 21 Apr 2012, 17:19, Reply)