No stories about the stag do's I've been to.Just one about a bloke I used to know.
One of the kids I hung round with back when I was in school and this was all flids was a bloke called Dai Mong (Not his real name). Dai was even more of a loser than the rest of us. Not helped by the rumour that he once wanked off his dog, or that he looked like Anthony Perkins and used to mutter to himself.
As time went by Dai got more introverted and drifted away from the rest of the gang, this was not a complete surprise as he'd spent more time in school on the mitch than in lessons, and even used to disappear for weeks at a time after getting into the sixth form, before dropping off the radar completely. As for rest of our gang, some of us left our dead end valleys shithole, some stayed, some left and came back again, most of us stayed loosely in touch and there were always a few to be found in our old local pub on a Friday night.
One Friday afternoon, seven or eight of us had met up for a few drinks in the pub and some MASSIVE DRUGS and a bit of a wander in the nearby country park (always good for a pleasant trip and a bit of a smoke) before heading back to the pub for the evening. After a bit we decided to head to the one nightclub in the town that we all liked (Because they had a two hour Happy Hour).
As it so often does when you reach the incredible age of mid-twenties, our conversation drifted into the realms of 'Remember when?' and at some point Dai Mong's name came up, partly because despite him not having moved from the town, none of us had seen him since he dropped out of sixth form several years earlier. After a few Dai Mong stories we started talking about his sister, who was seriously sexy, and then other women. As you do.
A bit later a couple of the guys came back from getting a round in and Wally said 'You know we were talking about Dai Mong earlier? Well he's here.'
'Fuck off' I said 'You're fucking kidding.'
'Nope, he's sat at the bar with a slapper.'
Up we all got and over to the bar we all went, and sure enough, sat at the bar, large as life and twice as ugly, was Dai Mong. With what would nowadays be called a chavette at his side, resplendent in her shellsuit, looking at her trainers, chewing gum while drinking her alchopop and playing with her ponytail.
'Fucking Hell Dai, how've you been?' etc went us all.
'Oh hi you lot, I'm working these days. This is my fiancée Tracy' Dai muttered.
After introductions Rob asked in passing what had brought them to the club that night.
'Oh' Dai replied 'Tonight is my Stag Do.'
'Ah, so you're having a drink with Tracy and then going off to meet up with your mates, yeah?'
'No, this is my Stag Do.'
So, yeah, Here's to you and your One Man Stag Do Dai Mong. Still at least you found someone that loved you, you lucky, lucky dog molester, you.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 5 Feb 2014, 16:14, 7 replies)

Was going to accuse you of being Dai Mong,
but we're all Dai Mong, really.

Except me, obviously. I spent my stag shagging supermodels with my Accord shaped penis.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 17:18, closed)

I bet you lasted longer than the runway in Fast and Furious 6.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 17:28, closed)

:(
I wish I was Dai Mong.
Tracy was HOT.
:,(
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 5 Feb 2014, 17:37, closed)

And apparently so stupid
that she'd be likely to do ANYTHING.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 17:49, closed)

You'd be a mod by now if you were.

( Pig Bodine., Wed 5 Feb 2014, 19:03, closed)

GO TEAM SHUT IN

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 5 Feb 2014, 22:58, closed)

as if they would have a team.....

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 12:36, closed)