I used to live in a pub and worked with a woman called Lynne.
Highly qualified for a barmaid, which in Publican language means very large breasts and thick as pigshit. She was also really gullible. I once convinced her that a haggis is a real animal that lives in Scotland.
( The only Dave is pushing things forward, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:11, 12 replies)

do you mean the three legged fluffies?

(whiskas loved by 8 out of 10 cats, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:35, closed)

If you're going to be sexist
...make sure it's funny, or people will just roll their eyes and think you're an old fashioned prick who doesn't get much sex.
(IHateSprouts is baking a huge pie shaped like an enormous pie, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:35, closed)

coffe meet monitor

( Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 16:21, closed)

OooOooh! Someone's on her period...


:p
(tinpixel, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 19:04, closed)

Well I liked it.

( rofl harris, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:25, closed)

I liked it too.......

( industrial_bunny, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:43, closed)

I liked it
and so did my wife.
(Bad Monkey hasn't had an abusive gaz since, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 16:39, closed)

The Scottish tourist board
would probably back you up.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 19:35, closed)

I have a cuddly toy haggis
it has eyes, but no legs and is very fluffy! Why does no one ever believe me? :(
(deadly_sinners, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:08, closed)

POIDH

( jakedamusss I understand, and dont care., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 1:36, closed)

Show her an old copy of the Beano
The haggises therein had one leg longer than the other to allow them to run sideways around mountains.

One would hope that the different genders had the opposing arrangement of long and short legs, otherwise buggery would be rife.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 22:16, closed)

actually landlords/ladies usually employ staff with a fair bit of intelect and wit...it means the punters can have a good conversation.
So no in 'publican language' being 'thick as pigshit' doesnt make a good barmaid.

However the breast thing does help...curvy ladies are just more amiable.
(shezam slouching towards nirvana., Wed 9 Mar 2011, 20:29, closed)