medically dead
I can slow my heartbeat to a standstill through force of will alone. As I write this, I am technically dead. I am able remain cogent and upright purely through that same ferocious effort of will.

In fact, I am able to control my pain receptors so that I feel nothing. As I write this, I am half-trapped under a combine-harvester that has fallen through my roof from a passing cargo plane.

I could of cousre use the internet to attempt some kind of contact with the emergency services, but why would I bother? I am already dead and feeling no pain. More to the point, my head has been severed completely from my body. I am communicatiikng with my typing fingers purely through the force of my will.

And I can bend my thumb back at an unnatural angle. So, unnatural, indeed, that I can scratch my pancreas. Through my perineum.
(Brand name, Sun 21 Nov 2010, 21:19, 4 replies)

But can you do the hokey cokey?
That's what it's all about.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Sun 21 Nov 2010, 21:21, closed)

Yeah? I can eat 2 Ferraro Roche in a minute

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sun 21 Nov 2010, 22:33, closed)

Susan?

( SteamedCleaner, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 2:27, closed)

give me back my combine harvester toe-rag.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 2:36, closed)