at least
there's the thanks I got ;)
(EvilMeister, Thu 31 May 2007, 12:32, Reply)

Shocking
I had no idea that these gags had been done so much.

Thanks EvilMeister!
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Thu 31 May 2007, 12:28, Reply)

Fook me
It's like Groundhog day in here. Everytime I load this page, the question is STILL here and people are cracking the SAME FOOKING jokes.







I bet nobody thanks me for pointing this out...
(EvilMeister, Thu 31 May 2007, 12:26, Reply)

I walked into Marks and Spencer
to buy a new pair of boxers.


And those were the pants I got.


(lalala)
(The loquacious linguist, Thu 31 May 2007, 12:25, Reply)

stopped an attack
i happened to be walking home from my friends house and i seen a lad getting jumped by a gang of about six lads all around the age of 7 i decided to stop it after all what is a bunch 7 year old going to do,i intervened which led to the gang walking off shouting insults at me i walked over to lad on floor who was crying asked if he was ok and the bastard told me to fuck off and to die as i apparently would make him the victim of bullying in school the next because he though in his undeveloped head that it looked like he had not stood up for himself. i felt sorry for him for a second, then realized i had seen that little shit before he was the lad that used to bully my mates little brother so i punched the little bastard in both arms i made sure no one was around to see then i walked off smugly hoping he was like all the other kids in the area and didnt have a father or older brother to batter me. (i was 15 at the time by the way i don't want you to picture a 40 year old man abusing a child even though that would be very funny especially if he was wearing a clown suit)
(branflakes, Thu 31 May 2007, 12:16, Reply)

DVDs?
million dollar baby
and the black dahlia

they're all the Swank's i've got.
(woo who?, Thu 31 May 2007, 12:06, Reply)

i had
300 food and 200 gold
and five was all the phalanx i got.
(woo who?, Thu 31 May 2007, 12:04, Reply)

when i was a child..
i was really naughty, but my parents only hit me once.
that was all the spanks i got.
(woo who?, Thu 31 May 2007, 11:49, Reply)

I went to Blockbusters the other night
Big, The Terminal and Forrest Gump.

And that's all the Hanks I got.
(Mozchops ... just not in the face, Thu 31 May 2007, 10:26, Reply)

Law? Not there
I was going to visit a mate who lives in the somewhat ironically named village of Law, in Lanarkshire. Driving up the main drag, obeying the speed limit I drove past an old bloke who was walking down the pavement. Totally unprompted, he turned to me, stepped to the edge of the pavement and gave a very prominent V-sign right up to my windscreen.

And that's the thanks I got for minding my own business in Law.

All right, it's not that funny, but at least it's within the spirit of the question!!

Think I'll run the old bastard down if I see him again. That'll teach him. Oh wait, that was another QotW...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 31 May 2007, 10:18, Reply)

Nooooo, Don't Click 'I Like This'...
...I've had to delete my offering in this QOTW. It was basically about my fresher-than-fresh discovery that my once-trusted employers have in fact been playing me for a chump for some time now. My reaction as recorded in my deleted post was characteristically ascerbic.

Only thing is, so many folks clicked 'I Like This' that it turned up at the bottom of my personal 'best of' page. That was a bit too close to the surface for comfort. I don't want to get fired before I have the chance to tell them to shove it, right? :)

That said, thanks to all those who GAZzed me on the topic to share the pain and offer sage advice. Appreciated - you've helped me feel a lot better about it.

...and that's the (honest and heartfelt) thanks YOU get ;)
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Thu 31 May 2007, 10:09, Reply)

I've looted the tombs of Siamun, Tutankhamen, and Hatshepsut
and I must say, I've gotten precious few ankhs for it.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 31 May 2007, 10:08, Reply)

I was in the Army as a
Private, Corprol and Sergeant Major.

That was all the Ranks I got.

*turns gun to own head*
(Mozchops ... just not in the face, Thu 31 May 2007, 9:24, Reply)

I let a vampire suck my blood.
Those were the fangs I got.

[EDIT: Shit. Just read disasterprone's post. Promise to do better next time. Come on, it's nearly Thursday evening Australian time, it can't hurt to change the QOTW a few hours early...]
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Thu 31 May 2007, 6:27, Reply)

Don't worry, i've got my coat
Girl next door: 4 mins.
Sarah Beeny: 3 mins.
Margaret Thatcher, just for the challenge: 28 mins.

That's the wanks I've got.
(emcake putting a donk on it since, Thu 31 May 2007, 3:11, Reply)

I'll stop soon
"Carter was first in the mild tranquilizer market with mepro- bamate, which it has sold since 1955 at $2.60 per bottle of fifty 400-milligram capsules"

How many tranqs you'll get.
(emcake putting a donk on it since, Thu 31 May 2007, 3:06, Reply)

United States — Population: 301,139,947 (July 2007 est.)
Roughly how many yanks we've got.
(emcake putting a donk on it since, Thu 31 May 2007, 3:03, Reply)

to think I was going to sleep
A tree trunk of radius 2 feet and height 4 feet has enough volume that, if pulped, would provide enough wood for 75.3982237 two-by-fours, assuming they were 1 inch thick.

That's how many planks you'll get.
(emcake putting a donk on it since, Thu 31 May 2007, 2:59, Reply)

Les Dawson gameshow, about 1987
My brother was a contestant on it. He wasnt very good at it though.

He only got 4 Blanks.
(radio_shak has questions, got answers, on, Thu 31 May 2007, 1:12, Reply)

AAARGH
GOD DAMN YOU ALL WITH YOUR PUNS... !!! they;re not big and clever... beside ssome of the stories were quite good you bastards.... blah blah i've had half a bottle of wine you should all *falls over non existant badly laid paving slab*
(Flobby Boris is returned to /talk from the northern wastes., Thu 31 May 2007, 0:59, Reply)

I'm emo
And that's all the angst I get.
(HNGTHDJ, Wed 30 May 2007, 23:42, Reply)

Bureau de Change 15 years ago....
...as i was going to Paris for the day. Went into Bureau with 30 quid.

When i walked out, 300 was the amount of Francs I got.
(radio_shak has questions, got answers, on, Wed 30 May 2007, 23:14, Reply)

Not drowning but crying with a slapped arse
Me and my brother have always been almost complete opposites. I was the academic, he loved fucking about with rusty old bits of cars. He once went through a phase of cleaning everything in toothpaste and buggered up our train set and tape recorder (worrying considering he became a trained electrician).

The folks used to go caravanning loads and there was this one place we always went to every year in Wales which had a little stream / river running through it.

Most of it was ankle to knee deep but there was this one bit where there was a bend was about 5 feet deep. My bro was about 4 or five and I'm two years older.

One day I was paddling around, racing sticks and twigs and the next thing I notice he'd found a large rusty car part and he was buggering about with it.

'don't play with that, it's rusty and you might cut yourself'

He ignores me and carrys on doing whatever the fuck there is to do with a rusted part of a car engine in some arse-end of wales.

So I warn him again.

He ignores me.

So being the older of the two I go over and lift up the rusted lump and chuck it in the deep part of the stream / river. Problem solved thinks I, and turn back to bugger about with my various twig and stick boats.

A few minutes later there was a splashing sound. I carry on playing with my twigs. The splashing sound was then succeeded by a wailing, gargling sound.

The daft sod had only gone in after the engine.

Now I couldn't swim. Neither could he. I am also a total wimp so mustering what Hulklike emergency strength I could I went into overdrive. Could I reach him? No, he thought it better to try and drown his way to the other side of the stream / river. So I looked around and quickly saw a solution.

The answer to my bro's drowning issue lay in a pile of long nettles nearby, so tearing them up and holding the stinging leaves in my hand I offered him the none-stinging bit and save the fuckers life.

Around this time, my Grandad, having heard the commotion had made his way over. Upon seeing my half drowned toddler brother and me dry as a bone he asked whether I'd pushed our Tony in to which he says yes.

Ear was clipped, and I had my arse kicked comedy style all the way back to the caravan where my dad was told. My red raw, stinging hads, offered no proof for these gene hunts who were now doing the stitch up of stitch ups. So rather than being hailed a hero I was grounded to the caravan, kicked out of the easter bonnet parade, and had my arse smacked.

The bro, meanwhile, got taken into the nearest town where he was bought whatever toy he wanted.

So I save a life, at considerable pain to myself and quite literally they were the spanks I got.
(spike starski, Wed 30 May 2007, 22:53, Reply)

A few weeks back
I took my mountain bike in for some upgrades... Spotted some boutique parts courtesy of Race Face.

And those were the cranks I got.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 30 May 2007, 22:25, Reply)

Last night
I pulled two drunk filthy hoors with missing teeth and poor standards of personal hygiene.

They were the skanks I got.
(lolwhites, Wed 30 May 2007, 21:43, Reply)

as a resident of Baghdad

I have to say, I've never had any problems getting even more tanks than I thought I deserved.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Wed 30 May 2007, 21:16, Reply)

in my brief career as a celebrity stalker

I only managed to harass Henry Rollins and Henry 'the Fonz' Winkler before they caught me.

So they were all the Hanks I got.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Wed 30 May 2007, 21:14, Reply)