Well they both taught each other really...
When I was a mere slip of an undergrad lad I used to live with a group of highly respectable young gentlemen, in a house of such mind blowing elegance it could only be referred to by it's full name of "Le Chateux Vingt Sept" (alright it was a shithole with a mental bus driving landlord, filled with the cream of the drinking/slacking establishment of our university but fuck it). Anyway, annoyed at a rare morning wake up to go in to uni, one of these fine young gentleman, who we shall call Alex, (for that was his name) stoned off his gourd after another Jamaican breakfast, thought it would be funny to hide another, somewhat more anal housemate's, (who shall be known as Guy), shoes. On waking up and not being able to find said shoes and seeing a note from Alex mocking him about this, I feel you are left with a few options. 1) Put on some other shoes, go into uni and forget about it. 2) Maybe hide Alex's shoes as some kind of revenge. Guy however came up with hidden option 3.

He took the day off uni and tried to fuck up Alex's life as much as possible before he came back. And that is why Guy is a genius. First he soaked all Alex's towels in cold water (this was Winter), dumped them on the bed and opened the windows (I should also point out that Alex's room was basically an outhouse, and frankly freezing at the best of times). He then removed the radiator knobs (after turning the radiators off of course), wrapped them in tin foil and deposited them deep in the freezer. The first I heard of any of this was when he came to me to say he was turning the power off. I asked him why, he said to fuck with Alex. Naturally I agreed and followed him. He then proceeded to take all the fuses out of all the plug sockets and electrical equipment in Alex's room, then again wrap them in tin foil and hide them in the freezer. As a final piece de la resistance he took the hinges off Alex's door, so that if he tried to open it hard it would just fall onto his laptop smashing it. Nice.

Pretty soon after this Alex arrived home. Now when you've hidden someone's shoes you don't really expect this level of retaliation and was mildly peeved (albeit admiring of the sheer level of detail that had gone into screwing with him). The problem for Guy was that he had a big piece of work to do for the next day (which of course had to be done from scratch - we were proper students). This is what is known as a tactical error.

When Guy was trying to work that evening and nipped out for a piss, Alex, like the stealthy 16 stone cat he is got in and locked himself in briefly. He then proceeded to rearrange everything in the room so that it was all slightly crooked (posters upside down, things at weird angles etc.) and then let Guy back in. Now for most people this wouldn't have been a problem, but as I mentioned before, Guy (who I love dearly btw) is a tad OCD and anal and thus had to spend about an hour sorting everything out. He also quickly nipped into Alex's (now bastard cold) room and threw one of his drawers full of clothes on the floor. Again a tactical error. Aside from the fact that in Alex's room that almost counts as tidying, Alex had nothing to do that evening and a strong willingness to get even.

By now Guy has locked himself in to prevent futher distractions and the only sound we can hear is a sawing noise from outside. (We had recently rebuilt a table and had some wood left over and saws out). Alex then re-enters with an evil grin, a hammer, nails and a piece of wood just long enough to wedge under the handle of Guy's door and nail to the floor, thus preventing Guy leaving his room. While attempting to perform this operation Guy gets suspicious of the noise outside his room and uses a Lynx can and a lighter under the door as a flamethrower to try to stop Alex! It didn't work, but Guy had an ace up his sleeve. If you can't go out the door what do you do? Of course, jump out the window! He goes back upstairs and kicks the makeshift blockade out of the way then goes for the piss that he wanted to leave his room for in the first place. Alex, never one to realise that something may have gone too far then locks himself in Guy's room and messes up everything (NB Guy folds his socks. He does not like things messed up). He then realises (as Guy is standing outside with a hammer sounding seriously pissed off) that he may have gone too far. After 45 minutes of peace negotiations held by yours truly (and Guy completely fucking up Alex's room) the stand-off was ended. Guy got his work done, Alex got his fuses back and we all lived happily ever after.

The moral? Never try and fuck with a student, they've got so little to do they'll spend their time coming up with bizarre and stupid ways to get revenge.

*pop* Wow that felt good. Apologies for the length, I'll try and only give you half of it next time.
(voodooeconomics, Fri 27 Apr 2007, 12:51, Reply)