Charity Muggers Tip
If you get accosted by a charity mugger and they begin to tell you all these facts about people dying/not having enough to eat/wanting a sex change operation then just reply with the following line:

'I would but my (insert relative here) has (insert random disease here) and I tend to give my money to that, in fact I'm (insert random charity activity here) next month'

This tends to work pretty well, although admittedly I only thought of this after I used it when I was 'got' and my my mum was diagnosed with PBC and I was running the Manchester 10Km for the charity that helps with this...

D'oh!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 9:37, 15 replies)

aarrggh!
One of the bastards tried to stop me by shouting "Don't you want to help sick children?!!!" At the top of his voice....
Imagine his shock when I turned round and yelled back that I was meeting my own sick child in A&E at the local hospital, just as soon as he stopped yelling at me. (It was true though!!)
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:24, closed)

Exactly
why are they allowed to guilt trip people when they have no idea what goes on in their life...

I'm sure there must be a phrase for them...

Guilt merchants or something...

Hope your child was ok tho
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:37, closed)

Hmm
yeah there should be something we can call them. Guilt Merchants will do, but I'm after something more offensive...
:-) yes Daughter was fine, just dislocated her knee, thank you for asking!
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 10:52, closed)

Yay
for ok Daughter!

Had a knee injury myself after a mate popped it out of place in a comp, I know the pain!

Hmmm, I did hear a name for it but can't remember now..
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:10, closed)

I find that
"NO" is just as effective and much quicker.
(ragged, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:21, closed)

I once had a Chairy Mugger stop my wife and I
as we were rushing out 2 month old daughter to the doctors and we were late for her appointment.

We said "Sorry but we are late for her doctors appointment"

She replied loudly "If you didn't want to help other people you could just have just said no thank you" and then turned to her muggers mate and said loudly "I hate it when people lie just as an excuse not to talk to you"

I was fucking livid, I turned back and yelled at her so most of the main street could hear me shout "I wasn't lying, I need to get my daughter to the Doctors as she is 2 months old and sick, and I think that helps more than you standing there with a clipboard, guilt tripping people just so you can earn a commission. If you care so much why don't you do all this for free?"

Surprisingly she had no answer and kind of mouthed "sorry I didn't know" at me whilst lots of people gave her evil looks.

I understand they are doing their jobs and all that bollocks but making people look bad for not having the time to talk to them or simply not wanting too.

Fuckers
( Peej, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:31, closed)

good on you for shouting at her
fucking scum bags

I don't mind being stopped, but they have no right to judge me or anyone on the basis of our response
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:54, closed)

No usually suffices and if that isn't acceptable I think I would feel justified in suggesting they do some real charity work rather than getting paid to harass people.
(cmouse is pondering about life in other jobs, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 11:42, closed)

It's easier to stump up the willpower to defeat these people
when you realise that they are not volunteers, but are infact paid professional fundraisers (mostly out-of-work actors).
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:07, closed)

You lot are all soft.
I'm a reasonable bloke, I'll give money to charities loads of times but I prefer cases where I know the person/s directly. I hate cold-calling or street muggers who are (I'd say 80% of the time) only doing it for commission.

So just say "no". If they catch your eye twenty paces away, shake your head, look pissed of and ignore them. Not giving to a charity that is trying to pressurize or guilt trip you is not the same as stamping on a kitten's head.
(bugboybeast, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 12:14, closed)

That's because
nothing comes close to that feeling of satisfaction when you hear the skull fracture and that final high pitched whine as it's eyes pop out the front and it's jaw pops out the back.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:23, closed)

Argggg!
MindBleach! Now!
(EffinDoubt is breaking glass on, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:31, closed)

"Oh, sorry, I'm not 18,"
...is what I tell them. It's true- I've not been 18 for ages!
(Ella Mentree, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 16:14, closed)

My friend just says
"I'm sorry, I've got AIDS."
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 29 Oct 2008, 18:15, closed)

This line always knocks the wind out of them
I politely said "no thanks" to get the shouted response
"Don't you care about (whatever charity)'
"Whatever you are getting paid is more than I can afford to give"
the guy standing next to me by hassled by her co-worker looked at me said "I agree with that guy' we walked off and left the pair of them looking like they had just been slapped with a fish.
(danthegpi, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 3:19, closed)