Not just tight, but a thieving scumbag shite as well
A while back, I had the joy of working with, well, lets call him A. Original, I know.

He was a salesman, and he lived up to the old stereotypes - poor paperwork, denying that he had offered what he had offered to the customer to get the deal, combined with making sure that the customer in question collected their car on his day off so that some other poor sod was lumped with a rightly annoyed customer wanting to know where his free mats and mudflaps had gone.

He also had a habit of stealing bits off other cars, to keep his profit ratio high. So if he sold a car with a missing parcel shelf/book pack/nav CD or similar, rather than just do the right thing and order the part, he'd nick one off another car. The poor sod who sold that vehicle, of course, lost money.

He was also renowned for extreme tightness - aside from creative commission claims to keep his income looking lower than actual to keep the CSA off his back, by juggling deals between months, allegedly his household would shower every two days to keep the bills down. Wouldn't pay for t'internet at home, so watched porn at work on Pornotube, on one of the PCs that didn't have a content blocker. He also wouldn't pay for a mobile phone, specifically so that he couldn't be called on his day off and politely asked "what the thundering arse was he doing promising customer X a free whatever". Someone eventually gave him a handset for nowt (which he would only charge at work) but he then refused to let anyone know his number because if he was phoned it would use electricity.

Many, many more aspects of his general stinginess, light fingeredness and Lochness could be described, but suffice to say he was one person who virtually everyone he met wanted to hit repeatedly in the face with a shovel. Everyone.

How he kept his job no-one could work out, except that on paper his results were good. The costs of covering his sorry arse were on a different report, y'see.

However, things came to a head. We had a Barnados or Gt.Ormond Street collection box on reception, where you bunged a quid in, and got a packet of sweeties. All very nice, except that the sweeties were going down faster than the tin was filling up. Strangely enough, once the receptionist started locking them away when she went home, this stopped.

And then the final act, one that guarantees this fetid, Stella swilling, faux football hooligan a place on my personal list of those who should be the recipient of a crossbow bolt through the genitals.

The Poppies. I am, perhaps, a little fanatical over my Poppy at this time of year. I go through quite a few (seatbelts), and make a point of renewing mine every couple of days, emptying the back pocket of change at the time, so I donate a few quid. I've also done some fundraising myself, but that's a personal thing, not an attempt to portray myself as some sort of super-charitable person.

Hanyway, this pond-dweller went one level beyond the pikey Bung-It-In-The-Drawer-For-Next-Year low level tightfistedness. He just waited until the receptionist had her back turned, and stole his.

Utter, utter scum.

The episode when I caught him in the act was slightly 'noisy'. He didn't like me much after that.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:01, 3 replies)

I've told our receptionist that if anyone takes a poppy and says
"I'll stick the money in tomorrow" then she is to detain them in reception until I can come in and kick them in the knee caps.

Like you, I am also a bit fanatical over the Poppies
(brainwrong, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:29, closed)

This guy didnt work for Carcraft did he?
:) if so you should check www.mycarcraftexperience.co.uk
(Miggyman, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 13:36, closed)

I had a colleague like that.
Not only did he steal and skive, he routinely shifted the blame onto others.

I found myself being 'discreetly' investigated for, among other things, nicking decorating equipment and using office phones for calls to Australia.

It's very offensive to be suspected of dishonesty without a chance to defend yourself.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 14:07, closed)