There's a multi-story carpark near Picadilly Circus
I was meeting some friends in central London and drove into London on a Friday evening running late. It was obviously going to cost me the price of Neverland in its full glory to park there for the weekend but I thought I'd make like an MP and expense it, as I was running late and would have added at least an hour parking further out and then trying to get in.

Anyway, having parked the trusty metal stead I set about leaving the dank concrete underground hole. Trudging up the stairs I reached what I presumed was the exit level - it wasn't. There's few times in my life when I've walked into situations that you really don't want to be in, but certainly walking in on two tramps bumming with a third gleefully watching on was one which no quantity of mind bleach seems to wash away.

The thing was the minute I stepped backwards and let the door stand between me and the homo-hobo show, I started to worry. Was the man being bummed consenting? Was he indeed even a tramp or had he been some poor bastard who happened to park in that car park and made the mistake I'd just made but been pounced on by the two vagrants and being raped? Standing outside I looked at my phone which typically was on its last legs in terms of battery life and had no reception in the concrete cell - even if this hadn't been the case, what could I say to the Police? If they were threeway merry bum bandits, then well they might get asked to move on and not rut in public places. But of course much worse, by the time the police arrived and the guy on the bottom was being attacked then he could have already taken tramp number two's length and been left for dead, etc. I felt very much like Bruce Willis in Pulp Fiction.

I could still hearing the muffled grunts beyond the door so assumed that the loose tramp hadn’t decided to come after me – perhaps that meant that they were all enjoying themselves and I could go and enjoy myself well away from there. I just couldn’t walk away though, just in case it was the nightmare scenario.

Shoving the door heavily I stood forward with the door swinging wide open, again absorbing the horror of the down-and-out dirty show. This time they stopped. They all looked up at me and the voyeur vagrant sneered, soon followed by a broad smile from the one being bummed. That was my cue, I didn’t need to see the one on top smile, I just turned and got the fuck away to the fading sound of tramp cackle.
( @><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:26, 1 reply)

I share your pain mate
Its a regular tramp mating ground round here, I think the Super Kestrel causes a form of priapism...
(Gertcha_cowson NAH MATE, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 17:40, closed)