my friend evie is one of those people who is very bright... but also spectacularly thick
when she was training as a solicitor, she had a massive crush on her supervisor. they were working in an office together, and his desk had a column next to it.

one evening they were working late, and a combination of his proximity and sleeplessness gave her a sudden rush to the head. after discussing a vital tax point with him, instead of walking away like a normal person, she tried to shimmy seductively through the space between the column and his desk.

evie is not very tall but she is very sporty. whilst she is not remotely fat, she does have a rather noticeable derriere from years of running around with a hockey stick. this promptly got wedged between the column and his desk. or, as she put it, "I was trapped, wriggling around like a worm in a sack." at first she confined herself to small wiggles, hoping that he wouldn't notice. but gradually as she got more and more desperate, she had to shake herself free. finally she managed it, but not before she had popped the arse pocket button clean off her suit trousers. it pinged over and hit the object of her affection.

he handed it back to her without saying a word.

she never did get in his pants.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 12:34, 11 replies)

I like this.
I also remember Evie's previous adventures; she does sound like she could write a book on Seduction Techniques and How Not To Have Them.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 12:43, closed)

Hey, you took me off ignore :D

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 12:47, closed)

Yeah
You still owe me a new scroll wheel for R Kelly's version of Gilgamesh.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 12:55, closed)

That's only the first third of it as well.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 13:04, closed)

I'm sure you're busy extruding the rest as we speak.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 13:04, closed)

Nah, can't be fucked.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 13:09, closed)

Ah, so cute.
Look how excited Braindead is about being taken off ignore.

I can almost see his little tail wagging.
(username failed moderation, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 14:55, closed)

sadly she's married with a baby now, so no more of them
the fucking selfish bint
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 13:20, closed)

No sense of showmanship
Honestly.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 13:21, closed)

if it helps
I got my heel stuck in a stupid grating thing on the aisle when I was her bridesmaid, very nearly went down yelling FUCK and falling out of my dress, but managed to save it at the last minute without traumatising any children/old women/jesus.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 13:32, closed)

*click*
Good form this week!
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Mon 3 Mar 2014, 13:40, closed)