My Erotic Adventures with Jeremy Corbyn by [REDACTED]
I sat on the bed and waited for Jeremy to finish in the toilet.
"Yes, two wipes clean!" he shouted from the bathroom. A big flush followed. He dropped his trousers and sat down next to me and put his hand on my knee. "I love a bit of rumpy pumpy," he said. He proceeded to take off his socks, which had holes in them, and swung me around and started to take my knickers off. After pulling them past my knees, he fainted. A minute or so passed before he regained his composure. "Sorry about that, it's been a while." Straight in he went down on me like a cow chewing on new pastures. I had to tap him on the shoulder to stop. "I hadn't finished down pit!" he quipped then he began to penetrate me, well, as best he could. I received two thrusts of his member before he uttered 'Hezbollah!' a clear indication that he had orgasmed, but not in my vagina. "Sorry, I'm not comfortable releasing my juices into your fanny." He rolled off me, farted, and then fell asleep.
( $$ ✅, Mon 14 Sep 2015, 9:06, 10 replies)

Achingly beautiful.
*Dabs eye with tissue*
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 14 Sep 2015, 9:45, closed)

Unlike most of what is posted here,
this probably did happen.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 14 Sep 2015, 10:09, closed)

Topical, grassroots and heartwarming.
A click all round.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 14 Sep 2015, 11:15, closed)

10/10 would lol again
click
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 14 Sep 2015, 12:16, closed)

Haha is this true? I reckon it's true, I dunno

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 14 Sep 2015, 12:57, closed)

What was he doing with your knickers on?

( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Wed 16 Sep 2015, 15:26, closed)

Fuck off
If you'd said Tim Farron, I'd have been hanging on your every word, casually masturbating into my politic-sock.
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Sun 20 Sep 2015, 21:29, closed)