My Wanking DisastersEver been caught by your mum? Or tried to fuck a pillow and got the spongey bits stuck to your bell-end creating a strange new flower? What about the time you man-milked the keyboard causing your PC to short-circuit and knocking out the mains for the whole street? Maybe you're a lady and you were using your mobile phone as a vibrator and accidentally dialed your mother? Tell us your stories and we'll tell the world.
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rob, Tue 1 Jun 2004, 17:23)
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morning monkey punishmentAs a student, having a flat in the centre of town can have it's benefits - you're close to shops, bars, clubs - all good things.
But it has its downsides too...
My flatmate woke up one morning and like most 19 year olds decided he'd give the old chap a polish before Uni. So he shuffled to the edge of his bed, closed his eyes and thought of England.
Now, if instead of England he'd thought "Hang on, did I pull my curtains last night?" or "Isn't there a new office over the road?" then maybe his bleary eyes wouldn't have met the face of abject horror adorning the secretary in the window opposite.
The kind of face people tend to get after witnessing a sweaty, naked youth - tongue poking from one side of their mouth - trying angrily to remove their penis... whilst staring... out of the window... at you.
He moved his bed later that day. She was never seen again.
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moonjam, Tue 1 Jun 2004, 22:44,
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