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This is a question War

Pooflake says: Tell us your stories of conflict. From the pettiest row that got out of hand, through full blown battles involving mass brawls and destruction to your real war / army stories.

(, Thu 31 May 2012, 11:55)
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Street violence & the world's worst have-a-go hero
One night I was strolling home with a friend after a night out. Up ahead there was a couple having a blazing row in the street; we were going to have to pass them, so I was watching them carefully.

Just as we reached them, the argument appeared to reach a new level, and the bloke suddenly reached behind and whipped out what I assumed was a knife, and was bringing it around towards the woman's face.

Then, to my utter amazement, I find that I've tackled the knife-wielding maniac, and I'm pinning him against the wall by the wrists. He looks totally shocked; I suppose I look fiercer than I really am, especially from about 10cm away. In reality I'm a soft southern bastard who couldn't fight a cold, of course.

We stare at each other for a moment, then both our eyes flick up to the knife. Which, I'm sure you've worked out already, wasn't a knife at all. In fact, what he was holding was a piece of paper, which he was intending to wave accusingly in his partner's face.

So, now I'm stuck. There's really no well-defined protocol for having aggressively attacked a total stranger for what could have been no more than literary criticism. I release his arms, and we gradually back off, with muttered apologies and careful, watchful reassurances. Eventually both groups could go on their way. The last thing I heard as they wandered off was the woman, saying to the man, "See! Now look how you've embarrassed me in front of those people!"
(, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 13:48, closed)
Brilliant.

(, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:02, closed)
Hahahahahahaha
"There's really no well-defined protocol for having aggressively attacked a total stranger for what could have been no more than literary criticism." is wonderful.
(, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 14:24, closed)
This gets a click from me

(, Fri 1 Jun 2012, 16:08, closed)
proper lol

(, Sat 2 Jun 2012, 14:49, closed)
the world's worst have-a-go hero
I have to take issue. You made a mistake, but you put your head above the parapet and acted with the best of intentions. Maybe not the most efficient, but a hero all the same.
(, Tue 5 Jun 2012, 19:07, closed)

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