Flowers
Utter waste of money. If my plan for immortality fails and I should die, i DO NOT WANT FLOWERS.
( difficultchild, Sun 3 Oct 2010, 10:40, 13 replies)

oh noes
i love flowers. i know they are pretty and pointless, but having flowers sent to me at work makes my whole week.

i know, when you die, have your flowers sent to me? win-win!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 3 Oct 2010, 11:12, closed)

Flowers at work makes your whole week?
Oddly enough, 8 pints of Guinness and a vindaloo has the same effect on me.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Sun 3 Oct 2010, 13:55, closed)

how's the plan going?

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sun 3 Oct 2010, 12:05, closed)

sssssh
don't cost me my flowers!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 3 Oct 2010, 12:27, closed)

I wouldn't say they were a waste of money. Not from the effect they have on people.
I was in hospital for a fortnight and I got my nurses a massive bunch of flowers when I left. 2 of them cried (one was the miserable cow who I really didn't like, I was actually shocked), I got a hug from them all. They searched the ward for a vase and then one of them sorted them all out.
When I went back to see my Cardiologist a week later they were still proudly on display and two more nurses who weren't on that day both thanked me and gave me a hug.
These women literally saved my life and a £25 bunch of flowers had them happier than pigs in shit. I'd pay ten times that amount to see them like that again.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 3 Oct 2010, 12:41, closed)

Aw
That's a lovely inversion of the original question:)
(moosefish, Sun 3 Oct 2010, 19:47, closed)

They honestly deserved it.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 3 Oct 2010, 20:10, closed)

not white roses, though
surely
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 3 Oct 2010, 19:54, closed)

Stipulate in your will
that people are to take the money they would have spent on flowers and spend it instead on booze to be consumed at your wake.
(oball needs Satan more than he needs me, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 7:10, closed)

Fuck the will
Have your funeral while you're still alive - every five years once I'm past 50 (yeah, I know, early but I'd rather not take any chances) I'm going to insist that all my family and friends come and spend a night at a pub talking about the good old times, what's changed in half a decade, and if it doesn't seem too pretentious, a book for people to write whatever shit they want in. They'll most likely be spotting drinks for me and/or each other, having a much better time than they would after they've put me in the ground, probably working out cheaper than paying for a massive fuck-off funeral; and best of all, I can be there too!

Then when I'm done just chuck me in a landfill or something similarly priced. And when the next five-year mark rolls around, one final memorial bash and be done with me. I'm really not worth crying over after that.

That's the plan, anyway.
(jellybeanflicker Jesus was Korean, but there he was Cho Sun Wun, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 11:27, closed)

Spiffing Idea!

(Kip, Wed 6 Oct 2010, 11:00, closed)

If I may suggest:
Include a clause requiring that any beneficiaries must spend a night in a haunted house.
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Mon 4 Oct 2010, 13:36, closed)

I quite agree
I hate getting flowers. I have to find a vase from somewhere and then get rid of the dried or rotting mess a week or so later, usually dropping leaves all over the place. I'd much rather have the flowers growing in my garden and a nice bottle of wine instead.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 4 Oct 2010, 22:35, closed)