A Dump To Save A Dump
I'd been seeing this girl for a bit. She'd been pissing me about, blowing hot and cold on the relationship front and despite me being my considerate self, throwing any nice gestures I'd made back in my face.

I was sensing she wanted to end it, and after a tip-off from a mutual friend my thoughts were confirmed. So, I had an odd, but potentially effective plan...

Her (about to do the dumping): "We need to have a talk."
Me (knowing what's about to happen, but needing to drop a load): "No, you need to have a talk, I need to have a shit."
Her (shocked at my sudden riposte): "Oh, right."
Me ('VICTORY IS MINE'): "So, I'll see you around, maybe."
Her (Crushed in defeat): "Er, yeah."

Never saw her after that. Found out she'd got knocked up later and had to have an abortion. Damaged goods.
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Sat 21 Apr 2007, 23:06, closed)