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This is a question Things to do before you die

Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic tells us that his ambition is to a) drive around New Zealand in a camper van; and b) have MASSIVE sex with the original members of Bananarama. Tell us what's on your wish list, and why.

(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:08)
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This question is now closed.

Not before I die but before I hit 50.
Visit Sri Lanka and New Zealand
Learn a language
Start drawing again
More tattoos
Get rid of panic attacks completely
Turn down an honest proposal of marriage

I've only got five years left : /
(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 14:29, 13 replies)
The list.
I've known V for getting on 25 years, and we've been best mates for almost 20. In 2001, she was about to move to Australia for a year with her (then) boyfriend; she didn't know whether she'd be coming back, and so there was every chance that our friendship was about to change radically.

We decided that the two of us should throw some stuff in the car and head off for a week camping in France as a kind of last hurrah. So we did.

We made it as far as the Loire valley before heading back Northwards, and talked and talked about our respective futures. As we sat at the hovercraft port waiting to come home, V produced two pieces of paper and pens, and suggested that we both write down our ambitions for the years ahead. Then we'd swap lists and, whatever happened to us, make a point of meeting up every 5 years or so to see which of our ambitions we'd fulfilled.

Thankfully, she came back, and we now live about an hour from each other. But I still have her list in my wallet.
1. Visit all 7 continents. She's done that.
2. Own a cat. She's done that.
3. Own a piano. Electric one, yep.
4. Take a helicopter flight. Done.
5. Visit New Zealand. To be honest, I'm not sure. I don't think she's done that.
6. Visit every country in Europe. Not yet.
7. Write a book and get it published. Not yet.
8. Have a child. She did that in May.
9. Get married. Yep - she did that a couple of years ago, thankfully not to the idiot with whom she went to Australia.
10. Run a marathon. I'm not sure whether she's done that yet.
11. Go up in a hot air balloon. I think she's done that.
12. Do a CVP line unassisted. This is interesting. She was a year out of medical school at the time, and this was still something she hadn't mastered. She laughs now at this one.
13. Do an LP [?lumbar puncture?] unassisted. Ditto.
14. Become a consultant or GP. Not yet - but it'll come soon.
15. Learn Spanish. I don't think she's done that yet.
16. Trek in Nepal. Not yet.
17. Take singing lessons. Not yet.

So: ten years on, she's achieved many of what were then her lifetime ambitions.

As for my list? She lost it.
Silly mare.
(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 14:16, 6 replies)
Take everyone with me
Ka Booooooom!!! Whaaaaaat?!
(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 14:05, 3 replies)
I would like to see my photography and/or processing work
on a wall in a stranger's house or company.
(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 14:04, 8 replies)
Retire
Fat fucking chance what with the government pissing my pension up the wall and my private pension company being a bunch of c**ts. Grrrrrr!
(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 14:01, 1 reply)
Raise enough cash
so that I can have my brain frozen and be born again in the future!!!
(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 14:01, 2 replies)
Off the top of my head...
I'd like to do Mad Friday and the Great British Welcome at the LM24hrs in a really nice car, not Ferrari or Lamborghini, or any of the stupid supercars, but something really nice, something the sad car enthusiasts would go mad over, like a Lotus Cortina, or Ford Escort Mexico or one of the rarer Alfa's.

I'd like to learn to box and take part in a boxing match. It should be easy enough, but there are surprisingly few gyms that are willing to teach any beginners who aren't children.

Finally, I'd like to sing in a band and have people pay to see me. Play a few gigs, get a little known and have people say "Ooh, $BANDNAME are playing, let's get tickets". The biggest problem I have, is not that I can't sing, I've had quite a few lessons and am definitely the best singer in my shower, but that I don't really have a voice for singing anything cool, like a bit of classic rock, but one that's more suited to singing songs from musicals or the sort of stuff that Daniel O'Donnel churns out.
(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:59, 2 replies)
I hit a couple of these already
I was a zombie in Shaun of the Dead √
I opened a festival by shouting "Hello V99!" √

I suppose I need to find more stuff to put on my list
(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:58, 5 replies)
Hmmm...
Stop breathing.
Done.
(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:57, 1 reply)
Don't think you can ask things like that and get away with it:
I'm going to kiss the girls, make them cry
Live too fast, still not die - before I get old
I'm going to see you raised above this place
Watch the moments shine upon your face
Before I get old
I'll watch the sun set over every sea
From every city wall, every mountain peak
Before I get old
The Northern Lights and the Southern Cross
The harvests and the miles of dust
And the blowing wind across the world
So wrap this coat around yourself
And leave what's done behind
There's so much left for us to do
And yet there's so little time
I'm going to pull the fences to the ground
Watch the twisted towers come crumbling down
And start again
I want to be a hero and a villain and a father and a son
Take care of my body and abuse it still
Until everything goes numb
So let's make this dance and never fear
That there's any real reason why we're all here
Live real fast, still not die
Before I get old



Which is - for anyone listening - what I want played at my funeral, should I die.
(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:52, 1 reply)
First page!
It'll do till I become first.
(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:38, Reply)
Bill Bailey already has this covered.
100 things to do before you die, #67: Lunge wildly at the Pope.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpT0fzz1m4M
(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:36, Reply)
Your mum

(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:32, 2 replies)
poo

(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:32, Reply)
Talk to my Dad properly
Apologies for lack of funnies in this.

It started when I was about 11. My nan died, and my dad was her only child. As his father, her husband, was hugely older than her, he died early, leaving the two of them alone, and they became really close.

She'd had two strokes in two years, and the doctors had made noises about her maybe going into a home, but she was sturrbon and independent so they made a compromise and she came to live in our house. We converted half the lounge into a bedroom for her. It was quite nice and she taught me tarot and how to bake.

Then she died, suddenly, one night. I remember her going to hospital and then the phone ringing at 3am and my Dad crying. He cried all of that night, but never again after. I don't think he really believed that she was gone.

I don't think he ever got over it, either. Within a year he had a nervous breakdown, then another and another. Every time he had them he'd go "for a walk" and be found days later ten or twelve miles away, dehydrated, curled up in a bush somewhere. His brain had gone a bit crazy and told him that the people who had taken his mother away were coming for him, too.

Eventually he was sectioned and the stay in the local psych hospital helped a bit, although he somehow managed to escape.

Slowly, he got better, stopped running away, trusted the doctors and nuses. But he isn't himself, and the doctors say he never will be again; something's broken in his mind and they don't know if he will fix itself in a week, a year, or never.

I've had long chats with my mum about it and I think she's OK, they stayed married and I hope they're happy, even though he isn't the man she married, not in personality anyway.

I've never spoken to him about how it affected me, how abandoned I felt and how terrified I was when he left on those numerous occassions, because every time I brought it up he changed the subject or didn't seem to understand.

I want to talk to him properly about it. One day.
(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:31, 7 replies)
Everything

(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:27, 3 replies)
smoke a spliff in zero gravity
... which I fully intend to do if I can a) scrape together enough cash for a parabolic flight or a trip on Virgin Galactic, b) Smuggle the goods onto the craft.
(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:26, 12 replies)
I did want to get an answer mentioned in the b3ta newsletter...
...but that happened last week and made my Friday. Thanks people.
(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:22, Reply)
I would quite like to learn Russian.
No funnies, sorry!
(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:20, 4 replies)
Actually get the kids to...
...do what they have been told. Just once and then I can rest in peace.
(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:19, 2 replies)
post something before the question closes
bugger, I had a nice one all lined up and written and the hour came and went so I missed the deadline.

let's see, can I crowbar it in here?

things to do before you die.

I've driven round NZ in a campervan, it was frickin awesome, I highly recommend it, as was skydiving at Lake Wanaka and I've been to Japan twice but would love to go back.

how about getting other people to partake in my little vandalism project? (crowbar successful!)...

I have many friends who are street artists and/or graffiti artists but I have no talent for drawing or painting so I use the awesome power of googly eyes to make urinals look like big gaping happy mouths, waiting for your piddle.

this one is my favourite, www.flickr.com/photos/abulic_monkey/2299943663/ sorry there's still piss in the bowl but the best way to stick em is whilst you're enjoying the facilities... it just didn't drain away.

here's most of the rest (sometimes it's not a good idea to get a photo for fear of being arrested) www.flickr.com/photos/abulic_monkey/sets/72157603982143110/with/2299943663/
(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:17, Reply)
Own one of these
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rickenbacker_330

and one of these:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gibson_CS-336

And actually be good enough to warrant the expense... which I'm not. Suppose I should stop spending money going out and lock myself in the flat until I can actually play...
(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:17, 7 replies)
Release an album
..
(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:16, 1 reply)
seventh!
fourth!! yay,

1) drive @ 200mph
2) pay off my student loan
3) massive drugs with super models in a honda accord.

edit: ballsacks, seventh
(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:16, 3 replies)
call for help

(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:16, Reply)
Write a will

(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:15, Reply)
4th
yay!
(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:15, 1 reply)
Quick! Swim with some dolphins!

(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:13, 1 reply)
Was hoping to be first before I died.
Oh well I'd better delay killing myself for another week.

Actually I have always wanted to write a novel. Only two things stand in my way:

1) a lack of talent;
2) See above.
(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:12, 5 replies)
First at being a sad twat
Hurrah! Dreams CAN come true!
(, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 13:09, 1 reply)

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