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This is a question Failed Projects

You start off with the best of intentions, but through raging incompetence, ineptitude or the plain fact that you're working in IT, things go terribly wrong and there's hell to pay. Tell us about the epic failures that have brought big ideas to their knees. Or just blame someone else.

(, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 14:19)
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Grandad..
Mat J's post has just tickled a memory bone.. www.b3ta.com/questions/worldoffail/post584511#answers-post-584571

My grandad was one of those tinkering types, you know, the kind of bloke who has a 'spare room' filled from floor to ceiling with wonderous, and bizarre bits of wiring, gadgetry and obsolete technology from yesteryear. A man with more hobbies that anyone should ever have, he made model airplanes, trains, boats, steam engines, loved his electronics, photography, and watched open university religously every Sunday (during the 80s)

He spent pretty much all of his life confined to a wheelchair after losing his ability to walk after a serious bout of Polio when he was in his early twenties. As a result, he practically lived in this room, much to the annoyance of my nan, he was constantly making stuff, breaking stuff and starting the occasional fire. Some of his misadventures include:

CB aerials, made from soldering a fuckload of catering size cans of beans, acquired from the college canteen. An old christmas tree stand did'nt escape either, that ended up covered in foil, and was used to support a dipole out of the bedroom window.

A 'rocket ship' made from a load of fireworks, this was tested in his old garage, sadly we only got one trial run, as it shot straight through the wall of said garage, and finished it's maiden voyage in the neighbours greenhouse..

Wireless speakers. After watching me and my friend messing about with some cheap walkie-talkies, he send me to the shop to buy 4 set, and a pile of batteries, which he then proceeded to pull apart, used one of each of the pair to send the signal, and the other to receive, stuck em to some speakers (small miniature walkman speakers - anyone remember them?) and had me and my friend walk all over the house with them to test the range. Crackly, and shite quality - but to a pair of ten-year-olds, these were the dogs bollocks.

He wanted to make a submarine out of an old bathtub that the council left in the garden after they refurbished their house, but nan would'nt let either of us near the canal with it.. oh well, I guess we'll never know the outcome of that one..

He had the michievious and playful mind of a child my old grandad, and I spent many years of summer holidays at his house, in that bizarre room of his, than I did playing out in the sun with my mates.

The smoke alarms in their house had no batteries in them, my nan gave up after about a week because his soldering iron kept setting them off. The carpet was littered with tiny silver balls, springs, resitors and off-cuts from cables, breadboards and balsa wood.

God only knows what he'd have come up with, had he have lived long enough to discover the internet.

Shortly after he died, our family were helping to clear his house - and I insisted on clearing that room personally, purely so that as each bizarre contraption was taken out piece by piece, I could sit there by myself and re-live each crazy mis-adventure one last time, chuckling like an idiot with tears running down my face, it's one day that will stay with me forever.

The best moment, however, was when I found an old dusty folder buried in his vast collection of notepads, and in it was a small collection of BASIC programs we'd written together when I was still in junior school. He'd kept them all, and even added little notes on how to improve them.

I miss you so much old man, and I look forward to setting fire to my house with my grandkids, much to the annoyance of my wife when its my turn - and my spare room is beginning to fill up with old PC cases, and wires already..

*wipes cheeks after sobbing like a girl*
(, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 11:58, closed)

*clicks*
(, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 12:47, closed)
Proper granddad,
that.
(, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 13:28, closed)
Indeed
I remember my Poppa making me a paper necktie when I was about 8. He also was able to catch flies with his hands as they flew in mid air - thats awesome to a 8 year old - clicky for you
(, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 13:37, closed)
FOTW
Have a click, not just for a lovely memory shared, but for reminding me of my father in law. He was much the same, although his thing was sheds. He had 5 at one point, filled with woodworking gear. He's immortalised here: www.b3ta.com/questions/diy/post138415/
(, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 14:03, closed)
He was also crazy on numbers..
He'd come up with these bizarre formulae in an attempt to win the pools, lottery and other number-based gambles. He'd record his own voice onto a C60 cassette, with stuff like unusually bizarre times-tables.

Sounds crazy does'nt it? - he knew his times tables up to something wierd like 81, yet he'd forget what day it was..
(, Sun 6 Dec 2009, 14:50, closed)
great story
I never 'really' had grandparents and certainly nothing like a granddad. On my mum's side my grandad died when he was in his forties and that sent my nanna to a mental home. She didn't have a scooby do who I was by the time I came along. On my dad's side, grandad ran off with some bird before my dad was ten and granny died when I was seven. Now all that is left is my dad's real dad, still alive somewhere but dead to us all. The thieving pile of piss, bile and excuses who 'didn't have enough money' to bury granny (lies) "step-grandad" died earlier this year. Not may tears shed for that cunt. I am determined to make sure that my kids don't miss out of the grandparent experience like I did, and thankfully they still have four of them. Very very nice story. People say that you never miss what you didn't have; I'm not entirely sure if that is true...
(, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 13:06, closed)
This is wonderful
People like your granddad are the ones who made Britain great.

Unfortunately, nowadays they're in short supply.
(, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 16:34, closed)
Bizzarely enough..
I was thinking about this as I was typing out my post.

Imagine what grandads will be like in the very near future, when most hobbies will be nothing but a memory, bowing down to the Playstation/XBox generation - I can see future B3ta posts already..

QOTW : Grandad

"My grandad didnt really do much, apart from his day job at the office, although I do have fond memories of him kicking my dads ass at Call of Duty - Future Warfare.."

It's not quite the same really is it?
(, Mon 7 Dec 2009, 20:38, closed)
Wonderful :D
Made me think of my own 2 Papas, who were both ace and are both gone now too. *click*
(, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 2:06, closed)
Bleedin' great post
This is. Clicks!
(, Tue 8 Dec 2009, 12:56, closed)
the world needs
more people like this. Clicky for your grandad
(, Wed 9 Dec 2009, 12:52, closed)

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