Please let this really happenwww.mirror.co.uk/advice/money/2008/10/13/aliens-to-save-our-economy-115875-20799094/
It would be so awesome
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Mrs. Sp@m, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:15,
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and it's loaded.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:22,
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Champion Porridge Wog! (since we are on the subject of news headlines)www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/2008/10/13/15th-time-lucky-as-man-is-finally-crowned-world-porridge-making-champion-86908-20798685/
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Enigmatic ™ Voice No More ©, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:32,
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At least I make the effort to say something vaguely interesting(
Enigmatic ™ Voice No More ©, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:34,
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SPURTLE(
Captn Hood-Butter It's a business doing pleasure with you on, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:07,
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'Miserable swine' lolnews.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7666660.stm
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theniwokeup has been awake since, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:23,
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maybe he turned it down because he knows it's shit?(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:29,
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I wonder if it was The Goat who wanted to place the 3K bet?ET phone the banker..
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Pedere Penfold...shush., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:17,
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It would be awesome if they were made of Gold and had quids for eyes.(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:17,
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GAW DAGNABBIT YOU'VE FOUND ME OUT HYUK NIGGER HYUK NIGGER*puts on make up and fists self*
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Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:42,
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that would be cool.I like the way William Hill think that despite the arrival of aliens, business will be carrying on as normal
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CowJam has a brqin made of plastecine, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:18,
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Probably wouldn't make a difference in England."I say good chap, there appears to be some sort of alien space craft!"
"Blimey Charles, better put another pot of tea on."
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TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:20,
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"and you'd better roll another cigarette, just in case"(
CowJam has a brqin made of plastecine, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:23,
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Not according to The News Of The World yesterdayAn Afghan family gets 160K a year benefits but they grumbled they couldn't afford Sky TV.[1]
[1] www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/news/article43731.ece
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Enigmatic ™ Voice No More ©, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:37,
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But she moans the house it too big to heat!News of the World; Journalism at its best.
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Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:46,
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Jesus, I fucking hate stories like thatparticularly when they make no effort to even suggest the true facts, such as:
Amount the News of the Screws claim she is getting a week - £13,901
Amount she ACTUALLY gets a week to support seven kids - £333.
slight discrepancy, no?
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the mighty badger "the Pippa Middleton of /OT", Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:51,
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Wasn't it 145k in housing benefitand about 15k a year to support seven kids, with no other income?
The huge amount is simply to cover the rent on a property that needed to be given to them, for some reason in that posh area.
Bit daft innit.
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moohalaa, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:55,
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yepIsn;t that what I just said? or at least meant, anyway. the housing benefit is fundamentally irrelevant. She doesn't see that money, and it's not her fault councils are hideously mismanaged and just blindly pay a stupid amount of rent.
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the mighty badger "the Pippa Middleton of /OT", Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:57,
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The article goes on about all of the luxuries they have,like nice furniture that a furnished rented house of that kind is bound to have, as if that helps her survive somehow. "We have no money for food... oh well, at least we have these SILK CUSHIONS".
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Moon Girl Technologies fuck off Team GB, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:09,
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It pisses me off more than I can stand.You should hear the people I work with. They're fuckwits, and frankly this sort of article explains it. They only read this sort of dribble and seem unwilling to actually use their brain.
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Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:14,
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What gets me is thety actually PUT the true information in therebut surrond it with irrelevant heresay and speculation and OMG outrage.
I mean, the article does actually admit they only get £330 a week (as long as you can do basic maths anyway, which probably rules out most readers) and after going ON and ON about the expensive telly and the furniture, then actually admits it was all there when they moved in. i mean, seriously, why fucking bother? I'm going to go batshit with a chainsaw in their publication offices. And then describe it as a hedgetrimming episode
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the mighty badger "the Pippa Middleton of /OT", Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:22,
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Can I join in?Stupid cunts.
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Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:23,
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And me too./really really wants to "go hedgetrimming"
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The Teviot Moose major 5th., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:25,
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the more the merrier.Or messier. depends on how well it goes..
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the mighty badger "the Pippa Middleton of /OT", Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:26,
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I'm actually going to start using "hedgetrimming" at work when I have a bad day.I think it should be the new "postal".
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The Teviot Moose major 5th., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:29,
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The bit where the guy says he got the telly "cheap off a friend",but it's still shock and outrage that they have it. How dare they even have a telly at all, even a second-hand one!
Mind you, those things use a lot of electricity.
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Moon Girl Technologies fuck off Team GB, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:24,
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They have a VASE!With CUT FLOWERS!
Holy shit, they should have piles of B&H and Stella cans!
...but how can they afford even THAT!?
rabble rabble rabble red-top newspaper daily mail rabble rabble!
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moohalaa, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:15,
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It makes me feel sick.The comments made me very :(
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Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:17,
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I bet got those cut flowers on benefits that she sponged from taxpayers.The majority of the comments come from people who've never thought to brighten up their house with flowers, or abhor the thought.
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moohalaa, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:21,
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What folly it is for the woman on benefits to actually tidy her house.(
Moon Girl Technologies fuck off Team GB, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:22,
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If she doesn't have a shitpit full of overflowing ashtrayspizza boxes and empty stella cans, how are we ever to know they are on benefits?
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the mighty badger "the Pippa Middleton of /OT", Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:24,
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Their benefits are obviously far too high,if they're not wallowing in self pity. Poor people should be miserable, damn it! It's the natural order.
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Moon Girl Technologies fuck off Team GB, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:26,
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It's not like she's trying to support 7 kids on a meagre handoutor make the best of what she's got at the moment.
It doesn't mention that they don't actually spend the money on cheap fags, booze, sitting in the pub all night, a car, holidays, or anything like that.
They may have a huge house, but in cash terms they've got diddly zip, none of it is theirs.
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moohalaa, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:25,
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Oh but she "complained" that she couldn't afford to take her kid to Disneyland.How dare she complain she can't afford things she can't afford, even though she's been given an implausibly large house she didn't specifically ask for.
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Moon Girl Technologies fuck off Team GB, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:28,
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Disneyland!? more like BENEFITSLAND!I think that shes takin the piss!!!!!!!!!!!
Send dem bak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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moohalaa, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:30,
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Silk cushions that should be going to DECENT BRITISH peopleHow dare they have enough sofas to seat a family of 8?
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in vino veritas, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:18,
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She's raising herself and 7 kids on 330 quid a weekRather her than me.
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Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:52,
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I don't know how much children cost on average,but we spend £30-£40 a week on food for the two of us, and we don't get cheap stuff. That usually includes wine as well. You should be able to feed a family of eight easily on £150 a week.
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Moon Girl Technologies fuck off Team GB, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:01,
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bills. clothes. transport.etc
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the mighty badger "the Pippa Middleton of /OT", Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:03,
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The heating probably accounts for most of it,especially since they're from the desert and probably like it a bit warmer than most people.
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Moon Girl Technologies fuck off Team GB, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:06,
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Actually when you subtract income tax and mortgage and council tax,we probably live on not far off £330 a week. We spend most of it on booze, though.
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Moon Girl Technologies fuck off Team GB, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:21,
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How many is "we".I'm trying to think through what I spend, and it's alot less than £330pw!
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The Teviot Moose major 5th., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:37,
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Two.I don't know where it all goes, to be honest. But a night out can easily cost more than a week's food.
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Moon Girl Technologies fuck off Team GB, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:39,
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Afghanistan is largely mountainsit's utterly bitter in the winter. Worse even than Scotland.
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Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:33,
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hmm...I was trying to make excuses for them there, but I'm all out now. I don't even spend £330 a year on clothes. Transport? If every single one of them needed to use public transport every week day, maybe. But that doesn't seem likely, if none of them have jobs.
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Moon Girl Technologies fuck off Team GB, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:37,
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I expect children cost a lot of money though.School things, trips, money to go out with friends, that sort of thing. New clothes as they do have that terrible habit of growing.
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spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:41,
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I never got money to go out with friends.10p for a pick and mix, now and then. They will need clothes, of course, but in the region of a hundred or so pounds a week? That seems a bit much. Especially since there are 8 of them, there's real hand-me-down potential there.
School uniforms can be an arse. One of the other receptionists I used to work with had a 14-year old son in school and she had to get all sorts of stuff. My parents were lucky my school only asked for generic stuff, plus the sew on badge and tie (which would last you the whole five years), but this poor woman had to shell out for specially embroidered school polo shirts and stuff, it's ridiculous really.
Mind you he also used to insist on £100 Nike trainers.
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Moon Girl Technologies fuck off Team GB, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:47,
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yeah school uniforms are a pain.I remember mine were quite pricey, you had to get them from a special shop.
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spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:51,
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They live in LondonEverything costs 330 pounds per week there.
How much would food for eight people cost for a week? Ten years ago I worked on 40/wk for myself, with room for economy of scale and no luxuries you're still over 200 pounds, assuming you're not eating spaghetti hoops on toast every day. Plus shoes, clothes, school uniforms, electric and gas for a big house, transport... like I say, rather her than me.
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Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:42,
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In London I don't know,but like I say we spend up to about £40 a week on food, and it's not from LiDL. If that's enough for two of us, and would probably serve three or more people with lesser appetites, well for eight adults that should be £160 a week.
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Moon Girl Technologies fuck off Team GB, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:52,
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shopping for 2 people, I'd say, would probably come to about £60 a week here.that's not counting wine and what the Daily Mail etc might call Luxuries.
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spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:03,
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Big bag of rice or pasta - £2800g of mince - £5
£3 worth of peppers, onions, garlic and chopped tomatoes.
I reckon that would serve 3 adults and 5 children.
A tenner a day. £70 a week. Although that's only one meal. They could probably get through a couple of big boxes of cornflakes and a hell of a lot of milk in a week, and a loaf of bread wouldn't last much more than a day, so that's 50p a day for supermarket bread, and maybe another couple of quid a day for sandwich turkey. £100 a week ought to do it.
You'd need some fucking big pans, mind you.
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Moon Girl Technologies fuck off Team GB, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 13:12,
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hmmJawad, wearing a Tommy Hilfiger designer shirt and acting as interpreter for his mother, moaned that the property was much smaller than the massive house they used to have in Afghanistan.
He said: "Our house there was huge compared to this one. We laugh at this house and would give this space to chickens to walk around in a cage."
They actually just made that up, didn't they?
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Moon Girl Technologies fuck off Team GB, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:58,
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I also liked the"... is 20, and has never had a job"
why the fuck should he have had a job by the time he's 20? I'd bet more than a third of the population hadn't had a job by 20. they're called students.
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the mighty badger "the Pippa Middleton of /OT", Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:00,
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It's not like he's allowed to get one hereand I don't imagine the job market in Afghanistan was... I was going to say booming
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Newington, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:02,
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Most people who read the News of the Worldhave been builders since they were 14 though.
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Moon Girl Technologies fuck off Team GB, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:02,
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I for one, would like to hear Mykeyboy's view on this.(
Amorous Badger NINE MORE YEARS, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:05,
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It probably ends up with him being wrong, running off to be comforted by his surrogate mother, Bunny,then shares in Krispy Kreme increasing ten-fold.
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Bud Muhnquai [ :(: ], Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:15,
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Aww bless.They think Tories are people.
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Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:19,
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two feet of shining screw projected when suddenly, the lid fell offWoWoWoWoWowwww
Two luminous, disk-like eyes appeared above the rim. A huge rounded bulk, larger than a bear, rose up slowly, glistening like wet leather.
"You can't park that there mate".
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masakatsu, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:47,
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It probably willunless the ship is directly over London town then everyone will be outside gawping at it and taking video of it on their mobile phone, just, you know, in case the news people don't get high quality footage of it. Then after about an hour they'll get bored and go back to their desks.
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magnum, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:22,
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+ to talk about what they're having for lunch(
elusive I'm not really here. You're imagining me, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:19,
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Suddenly being at the bottom end of the money chain in a capitalist space empiremight not save us, but it would be a slap in the face for certain greedy bastards, so I for one welcome our new alien overlords.
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Newington, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:19,
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If aliens turned up I'd love to see the major religionsdesperately trying to make them fit in with their established world views.
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Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:24,
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They'd have to deny that their beliefs are flagrantly at odds with reality.They'd have a hard time doing that.
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Newington, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:26,
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Fair point.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:27,
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On the contraryThey don't seem to have any difficulty denying that their beliefs are at odds with reality- the problem comes from getting them to admit it.
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Lord Gnome, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:49,
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Those that believe Aliens were the source of life on Earth would have a field day though.(
TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:27,
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Which brings us right back tob3ta.com/talk/5540199
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TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:29,
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I'm going to save the economy by wanking like a rabid bonoboWho's with me?
(, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:19, archived)
I haven't had a really good look in my loft since I moved into this houseI'm going to have a look to see if there are any lost antiques or forgotten fortunes up there
/stoney broke blog
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h3donist totally spamming my novel - see profile :), Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:20,
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There will be some airtex knickers and some shit porn from the 70sIt's the law.
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how much does 70s porn fetch on the open market these days?(
h3donist totally spamming my novel - see profile :), Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:23,
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I wonder what economic impact aliens would actually haveWould we move to their planet in search of jobs? Would they try to live here? What new technologies could they bring to us, and would it put our companies out of business?
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SuperMatt, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:24,
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bloody alienscoming over here taking our jobs and our women!!
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h3donist totally spamming my novel - see profile :), Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:26,
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Why would they want *our* jobs?If they made it to earth, they're clearly more advanced. We'd be considered the less economically developed planet, and would probably start receiving benefits packages from them.
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SuperMatt, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:27,
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It'll maybe be a new colonialism,where they get all the jobs at the top of the civil service and as officers in the army, while we have to serve them tea.
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Moon Girl Technologies fuck off Team GB, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:30,
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We're good at serving teaSo I assume they'll choose to stay in Blighty
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SuperMatt, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:31,
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Maybe they're advanced in technology but they still aren't potty trained.(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:30,
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What if their only requirment were 15,000 BNP members?(
TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:31,
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what would they need with something with a iq of 7?(
Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:53,
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how do you know they *wouldn't* want our our jobs?they might have mastered intergalactic space travel, but they might still have an abundance of hair technicians and media studies graduates needing to find work
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h3donist totally spamming my novel - see profile :), Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:32,
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Pfft, as if there are any jobs out there for post-graduate media students.(
TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:34,
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Thats a cruel thing to say!Plenty of offices out there need someone to make the tea.
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Pedere Penfold...shush., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:43,
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and Big Macs aren't going to grill themselves(
h3donist totally spamming my novel - see profile :), Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:53,
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Their surplus computer science grads would probably be at more of an advantage.(
Moon Girl Technologies fuck off Team GB, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:36,
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They wouldn't necessarily be that technologically advancedthey could be aboard an autonomous generation ship and been in space for so long their technology has long been forgotten, yes I've given it too much thought :(
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Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:34,
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That reminds me of a sci-fi show from years ago,where some sort of transport ship carrying alien slaves crashes in California or somewhere and they all end up being given citizenship. They have two hearts and are killed by salt water.
Always with the two hearts.
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Moon Girl Technologies fuck off Team GB, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:38,
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There was a series about humansthat had been on a vast ship for so long the no longer knew they were on a ship, I LIKE THIS.
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Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:55,
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Maybe their woman have vag-fingers and the average alien penis is 3cm longMaybe we could steal THEIR woman!
YEAH! YEAH!
*Puts gel in hair*
*realises his gelled hair is a 15 inch side parting...*
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Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:28,
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Let's shake handsBLOOPBLOOPBLOOPBLOOPOMG THESE PUT A DOLPHIN'S BOX TO SHAME
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Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:31,
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You know, you're bloody brilliant you are.(
TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:33,
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Triple-breasted whores?(
h3donist totally spamming my novel - see profile :), Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:57,
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Multi-tits with a handle that you can use to rotate them(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 12:02,
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They'd bring interstellar spaceships, presumably,which would make all of the output of the likes of Boeing and British Aerospace look a little bit primitive.
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Moon Girl Technologies fuck off Team GB, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:28,
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So they'd fall into liquidation pretty sharpishalong with a load of other companies.
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SuperMatt, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:29,
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I like the way it says 'hopefully without incident'Screw the economy, fuck the aliens, just don't let us lose money on bets!
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OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:28,
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This.Equally, how they say Gordon Brown will confirm it, implying that he knows.
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mr_wicksy is called as such on the PS3 Network too, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 11:36,
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