I think Ray Mears would kick Bear Grylls' arse if it came to it
Even though he's ginger, he has bulk and "Teddy Boy" Grylls wouldn't be able to use his public school skills against the streetwise and dirty Mears...
( zulu is tired and a little grumpy, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:25, archived)

Grylls is SAS where as Mears could just tie his willy in a quick release knot

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:26, archived)

He maybe able to use his SAS combat training though.

(PsychoChomp <---NO FULLSTOP, which proves I'm real, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:26, archived)

Yeah great, more shit people.

( JackAction, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:27, archived)

To be fair, he was already here

( SuperMatt, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:28, archived)

And you're still here.

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:35, archived)

and you're still here

( manolith - modomite, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:37, archived)

I keep trying to leave.

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:41, archived)

and you're still queer.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:43, archived)

I keep trying women.

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:44, archived)

and where's my beer?!?!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:44, archived)

oh dear....

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:44, archived)

it's funny because you're a twat...
just saying, like.... lol
( hubare XBOX Gamer tag: hubare | http://twitter.com/hubare, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:38, archived)

Oh no, hubare is upset at me. Online.

( JackAction, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:52, archived)

I bet you could have a bear in a fight.
Go forth and prove me right.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:27, archived)

Or, you know, the fact that Grylls is ex-special forces wouldn't come into it
Obviously.
( the mighty badger "the Pippa Middleton of /OT", Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:28, archived)

training doesn't mean much if you're still a fanny

( Malaka omdz, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 11:18, archived)

YEAH and I reckon Delia Smith could take Antony Worrall Thompson
And Jeremy Clarkson could take OH WHO CARES
( Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:29, archived)

I'd like to see Delia Smith take Nigella Lawson.
WITH A STRAP-ON. IN JELLY. yes*



*no. For the love of god, no.
( the mighty badger "the Pippa Middleton of /OT", Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:31, archived)

Delia would just shout 'LETS BE HAVING YOU, LETS BE HAVING YOU' over and over as she plowed the Lawson-sea

( Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:33, archived)

and the lawson would be hesitant to begin with, before grinding like a pro.

(in my dreasm)

Is it me or is does anyone else get jane mcdonald fantasies. All that singin on cruise ships, Im sure she's seen a lot of seamen.
( SoBadItsGood Its just superheated steam, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:41, archived)

thats the most discturbing thing
i have read on here in a while...
( zulu is tired and a little grumpy, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:35, archived)

fucking hell, really?
then either you haven't been here long or else this place has gone to proper shit.
( the mighty badger "the Pippa Middleton of /OT", Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:37, archived)

Oh great, thanks badge. Now I have to go and wank.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:42, archived)

Again?

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:43, archived)

Get your own office, Double-R.
I can just crack one out right here. So long as I wait for the students to leave.
( the mighty badger "the Pippa Middleton of /OT", Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:47, archived)

BUT WHAT ABOUT NINJAS AND PIRATES?

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:31, archived)

Pirates are poor Somalians and Ninjas do not exist, at least not as they have been depicted in popular culture
The Somalians would win because they have guns. And boats.
( Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:33, archived)

so hold up
you're using the non popular-culture depiction of pirates but not ninjas?
( manolith - modomite, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:36, archived)

Well I don't know anything about the non popular culture ninjas
I just assumed they were a bit sneaky warriors who aren't around anymore.

I am ready to be wrong.
( Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:38, archived)

WRONG ME UP, RAGAMUFFIN

( Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:40, archived)

They could be all around you right now, and you'd know NOTHING about it.

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:40, archived)

theoretically I'm a ninja as I'm a member of the Bujinkan Taijutsu

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:45, archived)

theoretically being the important word here...

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:48, archived)

Everyone knows that Menopausal Woman beats all in a fight, even Vikings.
Menopausal Women have got the power to grow a moustache at ANY MOMENT!

Also they have powers that make you want to stay upstairs all day such as, sonic nonsense screams, tears for reason and hot flushes.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:35, archived)

What about when Friz gets menopausal?

( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:36, archived)

He runs around supermarkets, prancing, singing and dancing like he's in High School musical 4.
Then he stops at the tinned goods aisle and with one swift headbutt he dents all the cans whilst crying.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:40, archived)

i don't know anything much about either of them, sorry

( manolith - modomite, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:34, archived)

Who would win in a fight between
Mike Tyson and Steven Hawking?
( Zuowan, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:34, archived)

Hawking transforms into MegaZoid if pushed too far
YOU.... WOULD.... NOT.... LIKE.... IT.... WHEN.... I.... AM.... ANGRY
( magnum, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:35, archived)

Hawking apparently enjoys being beaten up...
Tyson enjoys beating people up...

it'll be a right fuck fest
( hubare XBOX Gamer tag: hubare | http://twitter.com/hubare, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:45, archived)

Oaaww yes... Arrh'm A beeg fayn of 'Awking... wiv 'is concoise discriptions of duh universe and what not
bat if ee cam raind 'ere... in moi 'erse... trailin' mad on duh wife's new shag-poile...

I SHOULD SAY "OI! 'AWKING.... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
( hubare XBOX Gamer tag: hubare | http://twitter.com/hubare, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:49, archived)