I haven't told a snakey joke for AGES.
SsssSSSssssSSS
( Druid, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:49, archived)

What's a snake's favourite beer?
Cobra.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:50, archived)

That's the worst joke I've ever said in my life. I feel a bit sick.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:50, archived)

CUP A SOUP
SOUP IN A CUP
(__, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:53, archived)

LUNCH FLAVOUR
www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcSz9WVPuDs
( Sir Sand Goblin Bill Withers, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:24, archived)

You don't look krait (great)

( Druid, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:53, archived)

What's a snakes favourite rock n roll song?
Snake, Rattle & Coil.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:59, archived)

What do you call a snake that likes to retrieve things?
A gopher snake! (go-for!)
( Druid, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:00, archived)

OOF, triple threat!

( manolith - modomite, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:01, archived)

Doing this is making my lol gland shrink to dangerous proportions
I may wake up with a sideparting tomorrow.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:06, archived)

you've clearly ADDERnough of it
( vladimir, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:13, archived)

A sideWINDER parting?

( Druid, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:14, archived)

i hate you...

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:24, archived)

What's a Snake's favourite Doctor Who?
Peter Dav-HISS-on
(__, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:51, archived)

HISS-topher Ecclestone

(__, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:51, archived)

Tom SNAKE-r

(__, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:51, archived)

SLITHERster McCoy

( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:53, archived)

Coiling Baker

( Moon Girl Technologies fuck off Team GB, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:55, archived)

Matt Hisss
(Smith)
( St. Defenestration The REAL one, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:57, archived)

david tennant the snake

( manolith - modomite, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:56, archived)

I like this

(__, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:57, archived)

I love you

( Blue Star will blow you a kiss, it should reach you tomorrow, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:59, archived)

i'm getting the hang of this 'joke' business

( manolith - modomite, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:08, archived)

BIONIC HACKSAW

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:57, archived)

WHAA
www.b3tards.com/u/bad7436b035054876c55/ozjmg.jpg
(__, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:59, archived)

Why are snakes good at playing jazz?
Because they're covered in scales.
( Moon Girl Technologies fuck off Team GB, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:52, archived)

You still haven't.

( Mu utter hypocrite, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:52, archived)

What's a snake's favourite singer?
Nat King Cobra!!! (Nat King Cole!)
( Druid, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:56, archived)

How do you measure a snake?
With a metric scale, because they don't have feet.
( Zuowan, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:56, archived)

WHAT DID THE WHAT WHEN THE WHO WHERE?

( mike woz ere 7442200 getter, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:56, archived)

A Honda Accord drives into a bar, when I say bar, I mean stripclub.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:58, archived)

And where's the snake in this joke, hmmmm?
IS HE IN THE CAR? MAYBE HE'S POKING HIS HEAD OUT OF THE SIDEWINDER (side window)
( Druid, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:00, archived)

Anaconda horde

( Moon Girl Technologies fuck off Team GB, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:05, archived)

That's almost a good QOTW/snakey joke there.

( Druid, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:13, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6526468
( Blue Star will blow you a kiss, it should reach you tomorrow, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:57, archived)

Why did Michael Moore throw the cricket ball at the snake?
Because he was Bowling for Colubrine! (Bowling for Columbine) (A colubrine is a type of snake)
( Druid, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:04, archived)

*guilty chuckle*

( manolith - modomite, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:05, archived)

what is a snake's favourite film?
king kongbra (king cobra/king kong)
( Lightguy, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:57, archived)

Hahahah!

( Druid, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 14:57, archived)

Anaconda

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:01, archived)

snake's favourite tennis player
ana kourniconda
( manolith - modomite, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:06, archived)

pfft

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:11, archived)

druid, why are you haunting the popular page like a monobrowed phantom?

( manolith - modomite, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:07, archived)

I'm not sure, I think it's because I'm so great.

( Druid, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:11, archived)

are you logging in as all your animal accounts and clicking on your own posts?
because that would be indefensible
( manolith - modomite, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:14, archived)

People were just being silly billies.

( Druid, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:20, archived)

nevertheless, i've got my eye on you

( manolith - modomite, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:21, archived)

what is a snakes favourite religion?
chr-hiss-tianity (christianity is a religion, snakes hiss)
( Lightguy, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:07, archived)

I'd have thought it would be Snakhism (Sikhism)

( Moon Girl Technologies fuck off Team GB, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:08, archived)

or Hisslam.

( Moon Girl Technologies fuck off Team GB, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:09, archived)

What is a snake's telephone number?
55555555555

(5 looks like S)
( Pops the putz. Most hurt actor? bruise WIll is., Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:10, archived)

What was Sigmund Freud's diagnosis of the overexcited snake?
He diagnosed that the snake was suffering from HISSteria
( vladimir, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:11, archived)

Why do snakes love Christmas?
Because they get an adder-vent (advent) calendar.
( FoldsFive, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:12, archived)

Whats a snakes favourite song?
Mamba number 5
( FoldsFive, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:12, archived)

knock knock
who's there?
a snake
a snake who?
please open the door, it is very cold outside and as a cold blooded animal i cannot survive in this weather
( Lightguy, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:13, archived)

an englishsnake, an irishsnake and a scotsnake go into a pub
the regulars are understandably alarmed
( manolith - modomite, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:17, archived)

And St. Patrick would be too.

( Druid, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:21, archived)

What do snakes use to clean their paintbrushes?
Serpentine substitute.
( Druid, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:14, archived)

Whats brown and sticky?
A brown snake.

Albeit the 'sticky' reference comes from the fact that they are long and thin, much like a stick. Their surface isn't actually "sticky" at all - contrary to popular belief, snakes are dry skinned and not wet at all.
( FoldsFive, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:14, archived)

what is a snake's favourite type of music?
bluegrass snake (bluegrass is a musical genre and a grass snake is a type of non-venomous snake found across europe)
( Lightguy, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:17, archived)

Never mind that, this is awesome
( magnum, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:17, archived)

haha, well that's the present sorted if FF and blue star procreate!

( manolith - modomite, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:23, archived)

Weirdly I was talking about this with a colleague today.
She's got to dress her son up as someone from ancient Greece and I said that when me and Double F have kids he'll be trying to send them to school on those days in Batman and Star Wars costumes.
( Blue Star will blow you a kiss, it should reach you tomorrow, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:27, archived)

It may be the right size, but I hardly feel thats appropriate maternity wear for Tara.

( FoldsFive, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 15:29, archived)