Hey there Team Friday Night in.
I won over £400 at the races today.
So what I'm doing is giving some of you ample time to create an "I HATE JMG!" group on Yahoo! with time to catch the post 11pm tearful screamers.

Who says I don't provide a service?
Asides fat people.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 20:49, archived)

Fucking hell, it's not even 9pm.

( WHARRGARBL, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 20:53, archived)

I have crushed the salad avoiders, and they haven't even had a chance to order takeaway.
Another pounding slam dunk, KH!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 20:54, archived)

RT @easty1
@stephenfry God. I want us to chamge into our pyjamas so you can read me poetry. Platonally or non-platonically. Yes I am drunk. RT this.
(__, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:39, archived)

OH RED!
Always hammered.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:40, archived)

Has she given birth yet? do you have a mini Hey Arnold yet?

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:41, archived)

horse?
dog?
mong?
(GluEid Saeed, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 20:53, archived)

Horse.
Defeating mong.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 20:54, archived)

Mong hugs dog
Dog trips horse
(GluEid Saeed, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 20:56, archived)

mong strokes dog's head really hard pulling its face back and making its eyes and lips go all googly

( moohalaa, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 20:56, archived)

Promotion season for Leicester City JMG?

(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 20:54, archived)

I've placed my secondary support behind Team SSG.
But I wish for a playoff triumph for Team Wormulus.
For yourself and Pearson.


Team Donkey Gums may be furious.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 20:55, archived)

If we beat West Brom tomorrow I think it could be on.

(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 20:56, archived)

I'm furious
You discount tickets to Leicester if you've got a sideparting
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:06, archived)

I JUST CAN'T WIN!
On the internet!


*Runs off crying*
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:08, archived)

*waddles after with double donna & chips in hand*
*stops*



*....asthma pumps*
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:10, archived)

I took the crispiest tenners from the fists of the portliest bookmakers.
I was beside myself with pleasure.


On the bus home. We saw a woman walking four pugs.
Circle of internet.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:12, archived)

See, that's a sign. see pugs, days going to been/ has been awesome.
it's the rules I live with.

If there are no pugs about I go around my nan's, because her face is the closed thing to one.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:13, archived)

was she gripping them two under each arm,
like donkey kong carrying puggy barrels?
(GluEid Saeed, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:14, archived)

I bet they were facing the wrong way but were unaware of this fact; thus still remaining non wiggly and happy.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:15, archived)

There was a lady in town the other day walking a tiny pug puppy.

( JackAction, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:16, archived)

You need to stop this.
I'm going to go out and buy one tomorrow otherwise and I'll get in trouble with the anti snuffle police.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:18, archived)

Can I just say,
I watched a Cher music video the other day and they look nothing like you.
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:27, archived)

I know.
Then again we all know Amerous Badger does wear big ol ashtray thickness glasses. Standing next to him I feel like a muscle man.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:28, archived)

I live with my mother because fat people are fat.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:40, archived)

I'm Cher because ugly people are ugly

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:42, archived)

oh JMG! always with the quantifying of the financial gain

( moohalaa, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 20:56, archived)

quite
"Grown-ups like numbers. When you tell them about a new friend, they never ask questions about what really matters. They never ask: "What does his voice sound like?" "What games does he like best?" "Does he collect butterflies?". They ask: "How old is he?" "How many brothers does he have?" "How much does he weigh?" "How much money does his father make?" Only then do they think they know him."

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
( MrA, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 20:58, archived)

The latest South Park discusses "Fags".
I have learnt a lesson, here.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:07, archived)

it was a good episode wasn't it JMG

( MrA, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:08, archived)

South Park should be shown in schools.
Instead of dinner.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:13, archived)

Terrible money management means that I may have to wait until next month to buy Modern Warfare 2.

( JackAction, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:01, archived)

OH JAY EH!
:(

How will you join myself and DG on the war against online foes?!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:07, archived)

I'll trade some old games in and shit.
I'll not let this stop our global online domination.
( JackAction, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:09, archived)

I've got all of next week off.
I'm going to repeat whatever the yanks say but in a high pitch texan queen accent. gets them going like chubbers to a newly opened buffet.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:12, archived)

Oh God, I'm off work on Tuesday and all. I'll have to move some stuff around.

( JackAction, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:14, archived)

Dude, still can't find anyone to match me.
I want to 1v1 b3tans and get the usual 25-0 kills.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:16, archived)

£400?!!! That's pretty Jammy...Jammy!

( planearm, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:03, archived)

I punched fat people. In the wallet, offline.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:08, archived)

Well done, did you go to the races?
I'm bored, and broke. No pub for Esme this weekend.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:08, archived)

Yes.
I visited Hexham.
I've been celebrated there in the past.

This time I was celebrated AND took home monitary gain.



I wish your hounds the very best of health.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:09, archived)

Cool. There's a point-to-point here on Sunday. I miss doing point-to-point.
Hounds are very well, the pup is just getting over an ear infection.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:17, archived)

Esme, I won the £91 million btw...

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:18, archived)

Hurray!
I've just received unexpected drinking money, follow me to the pub.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:24, archived)

sweet, I'll get a packet of rich tea on the way out.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:27, archived)

ALWAYS WITH THE LOTTERY!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:24, archived)

Now you're a racefan you should have At The Races on.
It's very good this evening. Europe 1, America 1.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:34, archived)

Oh jammy, I don't even need to try to get to the top of the QOTW popular page with my humour
www.b3ta.com/questions/ot-popular/

Sometimes it's hard being me.
sometimes.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:35, archived)

QOTW turns on you, then says you;re the best friends.
I think you've won over the thicker rimmed, whilst at time same time upsetting the same people.

A conundrum. With fat people.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:41, archived)

They seem to like me everywhere jammy
I'm a lover, not a fighter.

Unless it's a rape.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:43, archived)

Careful now, you don't want Friz huffing at you for posting a link to QOTW.

( Gvpyczjppcl oo-ooo oo-ooo oo-oo-ooo oo-oo BARBRA STREISAND, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:51, archived)

I don't give a shit. I'm allowed, I'm 10x cooler than him.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:53, archived)

I want to get drunk
Madly, blindly, stupifyingly drunk
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:34, archived)

So go get drunk then.
Sheeeesh.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:35, archived)

I can't afford to go out
And getting drunk alone at home is a bid morbid.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:39, archived)

I've got 12 cans of guinness. 4 down, the rest to go.
BADABING
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:39, archived)

Go DG!

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:42, archived)

YAYS! Go ME!
I'm also on Spotify listening to some right cheese.

Gary Moore at the moment and then onto Dio era Black Sabbath.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:44, archived)

ooo some Steve Vai passion & warefare now.
god this is cheesy.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:47, archived)

The new dubmood album is on there
Still no tool though :(
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:48, archived)

Abit of Stan Bush - Transformers soundtrack atm
I'm fist pumping like I'm no bodies fool
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:51, archived)

PIE, JMG!
I've just stuck it in the oven. The pie, I mean. I'm full of pie stuffing also.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:45, archived)

JMG is very much PRO-NOIT!
I'd like to think this pie will result in NO ADDED POUNDS.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:49, archived)

I'm going to take my camera to the LOLBASH to document fatties in their natural habitat.

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:51, archived)

This is why I'm avoiding the bash

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:54, archived)

Blaydon Races?

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:45, archived)

NEAR!
Hexham!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:50, archived)