While most of you are used to the writing going clockwise in sticks of rock
in the southern hemisphere, the writing runs anti-clockwise, and the letters are backwards. This is because of the coriolis effect.

Fact me RIGHT up. Please.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:37, archived)

I'm getting my pennies sorted.
rather than just thinking about saving money I'm ACTUALLY GOING TO.
( MONO!, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:38, archived)

oh god i misread pennies.

( inkybinkybee, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:39, archived)

You filthy whore.
Fancy playing Dungeon Defenders tomorrow?
If not I hate you!
( MONO!, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:40, archived)

I DON'T KNOW god what is this some kind of PLANNING
did you get it? how much have you played?
( inkybinkybee, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:42, archived)

Not got it yet, and haven't played it at all.
Sorry, I've been without xbox all weekend.
( MONO!, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:50, archived)

that's ok, i played some of that, some of red dead, some bastion...

( inkybinkybee, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:01, archived)

I couldn't be arsed to complete red dead 100%
I want to try the zombie one.
( MONO!, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:04, archived)

oh we have that, i like the main game though

( inkybinkybee, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:08, archived)

Have you completed it.
I kinda liked the story, though it seemed a little short.
( MONO!, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:10, archived)

i've hardly touched it; matt completed it on ps3 but then the ps3 died so we have it on the xbot

( inkybinkybee, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:24, archived)

XBOXISAMAZING
why do you have dungeon defenders on xbox and not pc, just out of curiosity?
( MONO!, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:32, archived)

mac

( inkybinkybee, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 15:10, archived)

Shaving monkeys?

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:40, archived)

It takes a lot of practice

( MONO!, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:41, archived)

koalas fingerprints are so human-like that they can contaminate police evidence

( inkybinkybee, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:39, archived)

I've been a eucalyptus thief for twenty years
and never been caught once, all thanks to this.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:41, archived)

i had a eucalyptus tree once, for my 18th birthday.

( inkybinkybee, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:04, archived)

Pigeons can't poo when they're flying
and dogs can't look up, etc
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:40, archived)

pigs have nipples just like people nipples
except curiously, LESS hairy on average.
( inkybinkybee, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:41, archived)

That IS curious
I accidentally 'liked' this...but I don't regret it.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:45, archived)

My brother had a pork belly sandwich the other day and came across a curiously chewy bit.
He pulled the bit out of his mouth and it was a pig nipple. Bleugh.
( TFD is a Clitasaurus, quake before her awesome power!, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:13, archived)

Oh god....

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:14, archived)

I've just done a little sick in my mouth.

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:16, archived)

That's weird
I was sucking my brother's nipples the other day and I came across a curiously chewy bit. I pulled it out of my mouth and it was a sandwich.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:22, archived)

I once won an argument justifying the existence of pork pies by pointing out the differences between a pig and a horse.
Fact.
(Gormo is the reason why paradise lost, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:20, archived)

why are there no horse pies?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 16:32, archived)

This is good
it means a dog never need worry about looking up and getting pigeonshit in its eye.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:42, archived)

See? It all works out in the end
Nature finds a way
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:44, archived)

Proof that God made it all
and we are part of His beneficient plan.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:45, archived)

God's brilliant, isn't he?

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:47, archived)

Cheers

( God - smiting mortals since 4004 BC, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:48, archived)

No, that's Legless.

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:48, archived)

God moves in mysterious cunts

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:51, archived)

I refuse to allow one of the words I created to be associated with that stack of bollocks

( God - smiting mortals since 4004 BC, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:53, archived)

God hates Legless!
And there was me thinking you moved in mysterious ways
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:55, archived)

GASP!

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:50, archived)

David Coulthard and Minnie Driver only have one jaw between them.
(/ac)
( Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:41, archived)

When one of them is using The Jaw,
the other has to lurk jawlessly in private and wait for his/her turn with it.
( Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:41, archived)

I'd love to see them fighting over it.

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:42, archived)

it's be like the scene from 2001 a space odyssey.
only with minor celebrities. also present would be anthony worral thompson and peter andre tussling over their shared chin.
( janet aylia living la vida loony, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:44, archived)

*waves frantically*

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:51, archived)

All hairdressers are in league with the tabloid press.

( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:41, archived)

you're looking at your stick of rock from the wrong end
you doughnut
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:43, archived)

No, it's Australian.

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:44, archived)

Look, it says "G'day From Sydney!"
only backwards.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:44, archived)

turn it over

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:45, archived)

Ooh!
Now it says "iәups o p,"!

Only backwards.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:48, archived)

i see, this is a EUIAI fault, i'll log it with support

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:48, archived)

Thanks

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:50, archived)

you need to turn yourself off
and turn yourself back on again
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:57, archived)

evidently user is an idiot?

( inkybinkybee, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:57, archived)

very good, i was going with End User Is an Idiot

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:58, archived)

PICNIC

( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:01, archived)

no thanks, i don't like raisins

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:04, archived)

why not toss over a bowl of cereal?
joke just for one person there
( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:22, archived)

splain

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:31, archived)

never!

( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:56, archived)

GOOD POINT except actually that's just because Australia is upside-down.

( inkybinkybee, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:44, archived)

bob holness played the extended guitar solo on freebird by lynryd skynyrd.

( janet aylia living la vida loony, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:43, archived)

Erm, it's iligal to sale rock in anywhere except brighton or blackpool.

( Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:44, archived)

a school of fish functions like a human brain
with each fish dedicated to one particular function. so you get a couple of fish that act as eyes, a couple more that listen out for the whale song and dolphin clicks, etc. staggeringly, there is also a fish that's function is to be the sense of humour of the school. this position is always filled by a clown fish
( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:45, archived)

And one fish is dedicated to that naked-at-school dream.

( Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:46, archived)

Are the school bullies
crayfish?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:50, archived)

wahey!

( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:52, archived)

I believe the hake takes the place of the 'withering' part of the brain

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:54, archived)

no, that job is performed by sir sand guppy

( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:57, archived)

*withers*

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:03, archived)

If a welshman knocks on your door offering either goods or services
You're legally allowed to punch him in the face, as long as it's somewhere between the nose and throat.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:47, archived)

Do you mind? I could have charged some poor shmo £50 for that.

( Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:49, archived)

In Afghanistan they use heroin flour instead of wheat flour in their bakeries.
This is the reason for the phrase "inefficient as an Afghan bakery".
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:47, archived)

The new School Of Seven Bells LP is a bit good.

(Gormo is the reason why paradise lost, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:47, archived)

Due to a misunderstanding during the creation of its county charter in 1376
in Leicestershire you can be legally married by a pig!
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:50, archived)

by to. and it's compulsory, not optional.
( janet aylia living la vida loony, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:51, archived)

Boy, is MY face red!
Y'alright?
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:52, archived)

meh. stupid haematologist being a useless cunt means my op next week will need to be postponed AGAIN.
i am all of the CROSS.
( janet aylia living la vida loony, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:54, archived)

Wha??
What a shame. Well I hope it gets rescheduled quickly.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:56, archived)

a m +rp
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:58, archived)

Ha
CLEVER!
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:04, archived)

honorary degree from the london herpetalogical society lol
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:08, archived)

Poor Janet would never have got married otherwise.

( MONO!, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:53, archived)

joke's on you - i don't even live in leicestershire.

( janet aylia living la vida loony, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:55, archived)

You don't have to live somewhere to get married there.
Surely they import the pigs from elsewhere.
( MONO!, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:58, archived)

i don't even believe in leicestershire

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:59, archived)

Everytime someone says they don't believe in leicestershire
A leicestershire dies :(
( Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:01, archived)

i know they make cheese, but what have they done for me lately?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:07, archived)

Something about Airports
And women's rugby...ooh yeah...
( Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:13, archived)

in 1974 Sidney Poitier became the first black man to completely eat his entire head

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:52, archived)

But not the last I'll bet

(Bill Paxton IT'S GAME OVER MAN!, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:56, archived)

In Thailand a child born without an epiglotis is considered holy and will become a focus for trappist monks

(Bill Paxton IT'S GAME OVER MAN!, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:53, archived)

shut up baldmonkey

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:56, archived)

During the Rolling Stones' first international tour, Keith Richards shot five people at point blank range at the afterparty.
It was covered up and to this day their families thought they all overdosed.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:56, archived)

after 15 years of study, a team of scientists in berlin have discovered that september, not april, is the cruellest month

( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:00, archived)

Rick Moranis was a world class boxer before he got into acting
He qualified for the US olympic team and planned to go pro, but was blackmailed into being on a low rated US TV show. The rest is history!
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:02, archived)

Until 1956, Belgium didn't exist
The space that Belgium now occupies was used as a storage area by the Greek. It was only when France noticed the smell and went in to complain that the story was blown.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:07, archived)

there was only one greek?

( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:24, archived)

Yes
His name was Nicolas
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:27, archived)

Justin Beiber was the result of Russia's failed attempt at cloning The President of the European Commission, Jose Manuel Barroso
His current assignment, while still lucrative, is a constant source of disappointment to the Oligarchy.
( Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:12, archived)

Oligarch is one of the least pleasant words I have ever said
And I've said some disGUSTING things
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:16, archived)

What other disgusting words have you said?
*pulls out pen and paper*
( Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:18, archived)

I said 'satchel' once
and 'discharge'
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:23, archived)

I have to use 'discharge' regularly in correspondence to the Land Registry and mortgage lenders.
I feel dirty
( Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:34, archived)

O-k
Some council fellas have taken up some paving slabs directly outside my front gate. Are they not supposed to tell you if they're doing something like that? Good job I'm not getting any stuff delivered today.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:29, archived)

Homosexuals are allowed by law.
To poo in a policemans helmet if they are ever caught short.
( BindiBaji, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:29, archived)

I love the thought of taking a policeman's helmet, squatting over it and saying "No, it's alright officer...I'm gay!"

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:34, archived)

clikin dis

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:35, archived)

shameless self promotion.

( BindiBaji, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:52, archived)

god, jesus and a ghost are all the same person but with different facial hair

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:40, archived)