What are you having for lunch?
But tell me in the form of a pun... err, I dunno. Film titles.

I Ham Legend (sandwich) with Cereal the Bar-barian
( Eddache, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:07, archived)

Christ.
Erm...
(Chicken Tikka) S-lice Academy
Tican(of cola)ic
The Passion of the Crisps.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:13, archived)

I like Passion of the Crisps

( Eddache, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:16, archived)

Chicken Tikka Slice is a hard food to pun in its entirety.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:19, archived)

What's Eating Gilbert's Chicken Tikka Slice?

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:28, archived)

I think that is cheating.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:28, archived)

Fuck you.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:28, archived)

A fat balbag

( MONO!, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:29, archived)

I've decided I need a mixer now.
6 or 8 jack plug inputs to a stereo phono output with individual volume controls. That's all. Sort it out for me.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:45, archived)

Will do, Boss

( MONO!, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:52, archived)

Also, I have no money to spend on it.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:52, archived)

sell a kidney
preferably your own
( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:30, archived)

I hear they're like antique vases and you'll get a better price for a pair

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 8 May 2012, 14:02, archived)

that's fine it's on me

( MONO!, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:43, archived)

Cool.
This'll do:
www.nevadamusic.co.uk/live-sound-dj/live-mixers/alto-zmx862
ta.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 14:43, archived)

fuck Nevada
When I get my Les Paul I'm fucked if I'm buying it there
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 14:45, archived)

I buy stuff in there all the time now just to fund their persecution of cunts like you.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 14:48, archived)

Well if they don't want me to spend my money in their shop, it's entirely up to them
GAK is way better. But further away of course.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 14:51, archived)

That's Nevada's main selling point for me, to be honest.
I can have the thing I want NOW.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 14:53, archived)

In spite of being able to get things cheaper elsewhere?

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 14:56, archived)

dude, I'll do you a good deal on gak, no rubbish

( mongychops handbrake?, that's not how i roll, Tue 8 May 2012, 14:54, archived)

Nah, I'm good man

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 14:57, archived)

I have one with about 8 inputs and stereo jack outputs
not sure if it's got phonos. I don't use it and you can have it but I'm not going to post it coz I can't be bothered. It's near Reading. If you want it I'll take a pic so you can see what it's got.
( Three Dog Man, Tue 8 May 2012, 14:36, archived)

That's cool, man.
But I'll get me mam to buy me this one www.nevadamusic.co.uk/live-sound-dj/live-mixers/alto-zmx862 for my birthday.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 14:43, archived)

i said me mam to sound northern like you

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 14:44, archived)

How is it that this NEVER gets old?

( Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:32, archived)

Of Chicken Tikka Slice and Men

( Major Turd, Tue 8 May 2012, 14:54, archived)

Oh

( Major Turd, Tue 8 May 2012, 14:54, archived)

Of Chicken Tikka Slice and Men

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:55, archived)

Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl of Chicken Noodle Soup

( mns is... STARWARS McGUINNESS, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:17, archived)

Petrol

( MONO!, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:28, archived)

the good the bad and the pannini

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:33, archived)

SwimFanta
Sandwiches of Eastwick
(Drimble, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:38, archived)

Salami, myself and Irene
The Grapes of Wrath
Ewok Advetures: Caramac of Courage
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:50, archived)

The Gay The Earth Stood Still.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:52, archived)

Edd asked, I delivered

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:53, archived)

The Darling Buds Of Gay
Some Like The Bot'
Things To Do In Derrière When You're Dead
A Bugger's Life
The Turdy-Nailer
Star Wars, Episode IV, A New Homo
Rump Friction
Queer And Loathing In Las Vegas.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:59, archived)

The Only Way Is He-Sex

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:02, archived)

BOOOO!

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:02, archived)

Queer Guy For The Jap's Eye

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:03, archived)

Star Trek III: The Search for Cock

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:04, archived)

Squeeeee! Willy!

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:09, archived)

Indiana Jones And The Raiders Of The Lad's Arse.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:11, archived)

Indiana Jones and the Arse Poo AIDS

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:12, archived)

Indiana Jones And The Temp Who'll Have Coon
Soz. Not sure where I was going with that.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:14, archived)

The Dimple of Moon?
Like bums and that
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:19, archived)

Haha

( Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:37, archived)

Smokey and the Bum-Bandit

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:12, archived)

Lazy

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:13, archived)

The Bad Nude Bears.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:14, archived)

The Queen
Raging BullQueer
Almost Anus
The Cottage
Down With The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:02, archived)

Battyman Begins

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:06, archived)

'Chicken' Run

( Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:38, archived)

The Last Erection Of Christ

( Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:39, archived)

Pasta, pussycat! Grill! Grill!

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 8 May 2012, 12:59, archived)

Click on the speaker icon
You prick
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:07, archived)

ginster's chicken and bacon sandwich, a bottle of coke and prawn cocktail with tom cruise crisps

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:09, archived)

You Only Live Twice-fried chicken*
*may not be true
( NSA Agent Screening your lols since, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:09, archived)

fuck off back to /qotw you bullshit bathing boring bellend

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:12, archived)

It's because of people like you that the other boards hate us so much

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:13, archived)

His alliteracy shames us all

(Drimble, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:17, archived)

I for one wish he was dead
No, not dead....just in dreadful and constant pain.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:18, archived)

Cancer-flavoured AIDS, perhaps?

(Drimble, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:25, archived)

Or Cancer OF the AIDS
It's the only way to be sure
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:26, archived)

Doctor, last week I fucked a fish and now I feel terrible.
Really? I reckon you've picked up a nasty dose of Herring AIDS
(Drimble, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:30, archived)

HAHAHAHA!

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:32, archived)

O<

(Drimble, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:35, archived)

This sounds like three kinds of grease, with incidental meat

(Drimble, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:12, archived)

Big Fishcake
Live & Lettuce Die
( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:17, archived)

I like fishcakes
More news on this as it happens
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:19, archived)

Anyway, didn't you go away somewhere at the weekend?
If so, how was it? If not, fuck you then.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:22, archived)

i did!
we went to london, these things happened:

went to the union chapel in islington, which is a cracking venue.
watched charlie baker outstay his welcome as MC.
watched rufus hound ranting about religion and blowjobs
watched some fella called pat cahill perform a rap that ended with a dog being shot in the face
watched some female comic die on her arse (an aside, she turned out to be stewart lee's wife)
watched bill bailey being very funny
went to the bar, saw bill there and nervously shook his hand and said he was funny, which he probably already knew
ate pizza with the missus' family
watched avengers again
went for a nice walk
ate a huge roast lamb dinner
drank some lovely ale
another nice walk
came home
( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:27, archived)

Blimey, sounds like a busy one
I REEEEAAALLLLY want to see Avengers. Finding babysitters has been a pain in the arse. Christ, I hate having children sometimes.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:28, archived)

only sometimes?
have you seen iron man, thor and captain america?
( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:31, archived)

Of course I have
and Hulk.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:31, archived)

The good one
Not the baffling one with Nick Nolte and his weird poodle
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:35, archived)

i was just thinking of things you could do in the time between now and when you eventually get to see it
aren't grandparents usually the reliable choice for babysitting?

alternatively, stick them on the trampoline and seal the net that goes round the outside. tell them it's a cage match
( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:38, archived)

Not really
Let this be a lesson to you all...kids ruin all your fun.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:40, archived)

Put them on eBay

(Drimble, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:31, archived)

Hmm...maybe if I do it as 'buyer collects'
Cheers Drimble...that's just crazy enough to work!
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:33, archived)

Stack all your kids vertically, put a big rain mac over them and sneak them into the cinema pretending it's one person.

( Eddache, Tue 8 May 2012, 14:10, archived)

Woah, there's no way I'm taking them with me

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 14:13, archived)

no wonder you had no time to say hello to me :(

( mongychops handbrake?, that's not how i roll, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:47, archived)

next time, m

( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Tue 8 May 2012, 14:21, archived)

this fishcake was special
would you like to know how?
how deep does this liking of fishcakes go, two hats?
( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:22, archived)

Woah
Well I DO like them an awful lot. Did it have a load of different fish in it?
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:23, archived)

just two types of fish
however, it had something unusual in the centre. care to hazard a guess?
( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:28, archived)

A Ferrero Rocher?
or a Lindt ball?
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:28, archived)

nope, less unusual than that

( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:31, archived)

a fireball jawbreaker

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:32, archived)

it's a savoury thing, you madman

( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:38, archived)

Well it's hardly unusual then is it
I dunno...some sort of herb/butter infusion?
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:40, archived)

time's up
it was a quail's egg
( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:44, archived)

A quail's egg?
That is pretty unusual. How was it?
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 14:00, archived)

pretty good
it was from the canteen that sells stuff made by the catering students

fish cake with quail's egg in, bit of veggie lasagna and some green salad: 90p
( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Tue 8 May 2012, 14:34, archived)

90p?
A definite plus side to working at a college
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Tue 8 May 2012, 14:35, archived)

Eggs, drugs & Sausage Roll
and a yogurt.
( Ya What? G.L.E.N.H.O.D.D.L.E.I.S.H.A.V.I.N.G.A.G.O.A.L., Tue 8 May 2012, 13:22, archived)

The yogHurt Locker

( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:27, archived)

thank you.

( Ya What? G.L.E.N.H.O.D.D.L.E.I.S.H.A.V.I.N.G.A.G.O.A.L., Tue 8 May 2012, 13:29, archived)

that'll be £25

( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Tue 8 May 2012, 13:33, archived)

i knew there'd be a bloody catch...
...the times I've....
[gets cheque book out]
..you know if it wasn't for the...
[signs cheque, rips out of cheque book, hands cheque to manolith]
...There, now go and spend it on guns or quarries or whatever it is you spend your cheques for £25 on...
( Ya What? G.L.E.N.H.O.D.D.L.E.I.S.H.A.V.I.N.G.A.G.O.A.L., Tue 8 May 2012, 13:36, archived)