What's the difference between something said so angrily it is sibilant, and Adam?
One is madly sissed and the other is sadly missed.

Your go. What's the difference betweens for b3tans.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:27, archived)

What's the difference between a World Of Logs labourer and baldmonkey?
One is a WOL Lacky the other is lolwaki.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:31, archived)

What's the difference between a hairpiece with the fifth letter of the alphabet stuck to it with a drawing pin and a cock-munching shitterchief?
One's a pinned-"e" wig and the other's a Windy Pig.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:33, archived)

i am deeply, deeply offended.

( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 21 May 2012, 11:41, archived)

offended attracted to camels
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:52, archived)

now hang on,
i'm not standing for this sort of bullying, I might go join adam on OT
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 21 May 2012, 12:26, archived)

Don't get the hump.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:26, archived)

i'm so angry i could spit.

( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 21 May 2012, 12:27, archived)

calm ruminant quadrupeds down

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:29, archived)

This thread is shit,
I'd start a new one, but i'm going out in like 15 mins and can't commit to it. Also you're shit, and you're music is shit, and you are a bully, and your poetry is sub-par, and your music can only be described as cacophonous, and you're face is a bit round, and I'm pretty sure you can't grow side-burns.
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 21 May 2012, 12:31, archived)

I never commit to my threads.
Go on do it.
( MONO!, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:32, archived)

are you comparing BM to a baby randomly smashing it's fists on a toy piano?

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:34, archived)

nah,
more like a hundred people having a watery shit into differing levels of water.
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 21 May 2012, 12:35, archived)

so you don't think my poetry is shit then?
fanks!
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:35, archived)

bored of that now.
you know when you stand outside a school in a trenchcoat, waiting for playtime to begin but then someone spots you and you have run to run away quickly in case they call the police, when was the last time you blah blah, etc

pricks
(84237 Not the ringofyre's ringofyre, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:40, archived)

is this a vision of the future?

( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 21 May 2012, 12:41, archived)

All this will come to pass.

(84237 Not the ringofyre's ringofyre, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:48, archived)

Come to the dark side.
We're much nicer and there's 87% less baldmonkey.
( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:39, archived)

FUCK OFF BACK TO /QOTW YOU SHIT EATING CUNT.
Nah, you're alright really.
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 21 May 2012, 12:41, archived)

As are you.
Hence the invite. y'know, if all-baldmonkly-0all-the-time ever gets fucking tedious.
( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:44, archived)

HALLO!

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:47, archived)

boardmonkey

(84237 Not the ringofyre's ringofyre, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:50, archived)

Oh do fuck off.

( Comradely&Quixotic still hating Thatcher,, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:52, archived)

what's the difference between Veronica Moser doing a porn shoot on the Thames flood barrier and Gonzo?
one shits in a barrier shag and the other shits in a carrier bag
(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:34, archived)

What's the difference between a booth which is ideal for collapsing in and spangolin?
One's a slumpable hut and the other's a humpable slut.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:36, archived)

What's the difference between a bebop pub named after a group of primates and mark morrison's prison shoes?
One's a boppy inn called "Monkey" and the other is copying baldmonkey.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:39, archived)

imma gonna stop taking my pills and shout bongo at some geese now.
I PISED ON A ORKESTRA!!!!!
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:08, archived)

What's the difference between leaping at someone to deliver a light smack and mmps?
One's a pouncing flick and the other is a flouncing prick.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:11, archived)

what's the difference between amelia earhart and baldmonkey
one's a dead flyer and the other is a fucking liar.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:16, archived)

What's the difference between trying to jump over a massive wheat yield on a motorbike and mmps?
One's a croppy stunt and the other's a stroppy cunt.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:23, archived)

what's the difference between a dodgy carry out and baldmonkey
one will make you sick the other's a fucking dick.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:25, archived)

That's pretty shit right there.
We ain't dun one for janet.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:27, archived)

mat fess doesn't really mean anything though.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:28, archived)

what's the difference between a jamaican priest giving a benediction and janet?
one says jah bless and the other's a fat mess.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:31, archived)

I know, I'm not really feeling it BM.
I dunno, something about luxemburg, landlocked and dreadlocks.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:29, archived)

What's the difference between bending your leg while waving a small flag to start a race, and Janet?
One's a Go Rag Knee-Flex and the other has No Gag Reflex.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:30, archived)

bravo
but would better suit baroness
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:34, archived)

I think Baroness is hot
but this should not be a surprise to anyone.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:35, archived)

well, she IS a prostitute.
I'll treat you to a go on her if you like.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:35, archived)

Yeah, go on then

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:36, archived)

Until recently we were playing Draw Something together
Which practically makes us lovers
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:35, archived)

what's the difference between someone letting smoke out of an indian chief and Sexface?
one deflates the smoke from Geronimo and the other fellates the bloke from Dominos
(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:39, archived)

"allegedly"

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:41, archived)

showing your age, giggles
what do you know about the new users, eh?
( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:41, archived)

they're all pricks!

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:42, archived)

what's the difference between a rubber DeLorean and baldmonkey?
one reaches 88 miles an hour then bounces, the other reaches 100,000 posts then flounces
(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:45, archived)

wahey!

( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:45, archived)

Bored now.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:39, archived)

we are the champignons

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:40, archived)

What's the difference between a hamster dipped in treacle and gilgamesh?

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:42, archived)

I don't know what is the blah blah etc whatever you just said

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:42, archived)

Really? You don't know? You should probably consider getting yourself committed again!
AHHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:50, archived)

only you could be jealous of me getting sectioned
you fat fake mental, you can't even manage to be properly mental
(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:51, archived)

What's the difference between a small section of carpet that causes hills to grow in wetland and baldmonkey
One's a mat make fen tall and the other's a fat fake mental
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:54, archived)

what's the difference between images of daleks and tardii permanently etched into skin and a big baldy beardy bumhole?
one is called 'who tats' and the other...
( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:47, archived)

Nice.
What's the difference between a skunk that swears so much it has to be censored and a lovely lovely person?
One's a bleepy stinky, the other is a sleepybinky
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:51, archived)

i'm sad that i missed her birthday thing

( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:55, archived)

We all are, manolith.
We all are.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:55, archived)

well, those of us who were invited!

( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:01, archived)

man, this was an open invitation for two hats to make a dramatic appearance
but he fucked it up

BOOOOOOOOOOO
( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:02, archived)

two hats; another casualty of manoliths shitmodding.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:03, archived)

it's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it!

( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:10, archived)

and by 'somebody', i mean 'anybody but baldmonkey'

( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:11, archived)

BM would be a better mod than you.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:18, archived)

boo hoo hoo

( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:24, archived)

yeah, bm's reply was better.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:26, archived)

good to know

( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:38, archived)

Yes I would.
But manolith pretends to like it when Jonti Veitch wanks in his eyes. And that's all that matters to the likes of "rob".
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:24, archived)

he always sings a zany song at the point of release
makes it all worthwhile since everything that man ever recorded was a stone cold classic
( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:36, archived)

what if he's dead?
I miss two hats :'(
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:04, archived)

i've got his bass

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:08, archived)

you should burn it, in memorial to the chubby funster.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:10, archived)

Nope.
It's better than mine.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:11, archived)

oh well, keep it and play some light jazz on it.
it's what he would have wanted.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:13, archived)

It's funk fusion or nothing
soz
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:17, archived)

\o/

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:18, archived)

Bloke.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:18, archived)

Fella.

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:26, archived)

GAY!

( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 21 May 2012, 12:28, archived)

Be that as it may
I'm comfortable with it
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:31, archived)

How are you?

( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 21 May 2012, 12:32, archived)

Ok
You?
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:34, archived)

Good.
Thanks.
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 21 May 2012, 12:36, archived)

Nice
I want to go to the museum where you have the shrunken heads. Have you been there?
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:37, archived)

Yes,
it also has a very tall Mouse. It is an ace museum. There are drawers and drawers and drawers of butterflys and moths and bugs and all sorts. I like to wander around it on my breaks.
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 21 May 2012, 12:39, archived)

Thinking about going and taking a look
If I do I'll drop you a line and you can meet my horrible family.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:41, archived)

That would be an absolute delight,
you can meet my lovely ladypigfriend, she is much nicer than me, and will eventually leave me.
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 21 May 2012, 12:42, archived)

And that's when I'll make my move
*twiddles moustache*
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:45, archived)

fine
fuck the pair of you
you're both dumped
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:46, archived)

do you know how they make those?
i know how they make those cos i saw it on QI or horrible histories or that
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:40, archived)

i don't care.
Going out now. speak later.

love you Q.

xxx.

WP
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 21 May 2012, 12:41, archived)

Indeed I do
But that's only because I read about it today. There were headhunters providing these things during the 1930's!! Crazy stuff.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:42, archived)

i'd like to skin your head and stretch the skin around some pot pourri and leave it at the bottom of my bed
i'd kiss you every morning and make you watch when i was having my special time
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:44, archived)

Daww
*blushes*
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:45, archived)

what if he's not?
you can still miss him
( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:11, archived)

wut?

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:12, archived)

oh never mind

( manolith - six seasons and a movie, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:16, archived)

huh?

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:21, archived)

what's the difference between batman tripping over and baldmonkey
one's a bat fallbag and the other is a fat ballbag.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:56, archived)

What's the difference between someone lacking good manners while using their OAP ticket on a bus and Grrrmachine?
One's uncouth with pass and the other's a poof with cars.
Or something.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:01, archived)

Or, alternatively, nothing.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:03, archived)

What's the difference between the expression of a person who just won the "choking noise" competition and Quentin?
One's an Uck King face and the other is fucking ace.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:18, archived)

wahey!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:35, archived)

What's the difference between frightening everyone in a harbour building by determining the total number of bottles of German wine and wormulus?
One is a wharf scaring hock count and the other is a scarf wearing cock hound.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:22, archived)

How come all of these brilliant jokes I dun aren't on the popular page?

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:26, archived)

cause the mod's are shit.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:27, archived)

hey baldmonkey, look
www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4NaZtU0dhs
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:34, archived)

can't
what is?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:44, archived)

birds made of lego
the avian kind, not the make-up and fannies kind
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:55, archived)

What's the difference between someone who thinks a lot about units of liquid measurement used by ancient Hebrews, and a qotw-er?
One likes to ponder hin, and the other one of its legs are both the same.
(84237 Not the ringofyre's ringofyre, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:30, archived)