Gareth 'Gaz Top' Jones
has fourteen pet guinea pigs, all named after Austro-Hungarian princes of the 19th Century.
( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:44, archived)

I dun a shit today and named it 'Monty Boyce'
LOL!
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:45, archived)

Well LOL, I wholeheartedly agree.

( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:49, archived)

Gazza was just on the telly.
oh dear :'(
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:50, archived)

I saw a fucking gert big billboard with him on advertising clothes a couple of weeks ago.
What kind of business wants to be associated with that nutjob?

He can't even get a job for Jacamo now he looks like an Auschwitz survivor/AIDS patient.
( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:52, archived)

he looks like he has cancer, not pretend janet cancer neither.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:55, archived)

Woy Hodgson, used car salesman.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:57, archived)

He looks like 'Mike Baldwin' from 'Coronation Street'

( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:58, archived)

Ah you mean 'Roy Castle' cancer.

( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:57, archived)

ask him now how real it was.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:00, archived)

I heard he touched you inappropriately when you were young

( hubare XBOX Gamer tag: hubare | http://twitter.com/hubare, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:55, archived)

He 'got fresh' with me, it's true.
DO YOU GET THIS HE WAS ON A SHOW CALLED GET FRESH IT'S A JOKE DO YOU SEE?
( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:57, archived)

WITH GILBERT THE ALIEN

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:58, archived)

HE WAS A REALLY GOOD CHARACTER ON GET FRESH

( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:58, archived)

I met gilbert once, true story that.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 16:59, archived)

THE HELL YOU DID
Nah, I have no reason to disbelieve you. Where did you meet him?
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:00, archived)

Oh come off it you mug.
He never met him.
( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:01, archived)

I've been burned before...

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:03, archived)

You are Simon Weston AICM etc.

( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:12, archived)

*bobs for chips*

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:13, archived)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:16, archived)

when it was being filmed in bellahouston park.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:02, archived)

Bodger & Badger was being filmed at Chessington (or Thorpe...can't recall) when I was there as a kid
My cousin and I sat nearby and shouted every time they went for a take. The director was quite upset by the whole thing, but Bodger, ever the professional, remained composed. Good times.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:05, archived)

I hope you shouted MASH at them.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:06, archived)

If memory serves, I think it was more "BOLLOCKS"
cunningly disguised as coughing so we wouldn't get in trouble for swearing. "MASH" might have been more appropriate, given the circumstances.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:08, archived)

I'll post you my time machine, so you can rectify this error.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:10, archived)

AT LAST

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:11, archived)

I also got to meet charlotte hindle.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:05, archived)

Was she hot or not? I don't really remember
Google seems to be drawing a bit of a blank
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:08, archived)

I'm not sure, it was a long time ago.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:09, archived)

Yeah, I suppose it was

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:13, archived)

Yeah you wish, Jimmy Hill.

( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:00, archived)

HE'S A POOF HE'S A POOF
sorry, bit of instinct there.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:03, archived)

I saw Rhod Gilbert on Friday
I have mentioned this before.
( magnum, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:23, archived)

Hey Two Hats!
I once saw Paul Young at Heathrow airport and, no word of a lie, he was carrying a hat and put it on the counter when checking his bags in. I wonder if he then felt duty bound to declare Heathrow as his permanent address?
( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:00, archived)

Look I know I make up stories but this really happened.
Unfortunately I was on my own and couldn't tell anyone at the time.
( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:02, archived)

I'm almost certain that he did
It's all a tax dodge Monts. Anything pertaining to permanent residence in the UK that is put into a song is a perfectly legal claim.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:02, archived)

I knew your sharp legal brain would come in handy here.
Do any other readers have a song-related legal declaration they'd like to share?
( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:06, archived)

I called marti pellow a cunt once.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:08, archived)

He'd obviously taken a break from wishing he was lucky

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:11, archived)

it was his day off from feeling things with his fingers and toes.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:15, archived)

Excellent work
My pal Toby is an electrician in the telly/film business, his best story concerns the filming of TV smash ‘Harbour Lights’: a member of the public vaulted the barriers during filming, and punched Nick Berry into the sea, before legging it.
( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:14, archived)

same friend that beheaded a tramp with a ninja sword?

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:17, archived)

No, different one.
He's barred from the Isle of Man, though - like Andy Kershaw. True story.
( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:18, archived)

for stalking andy kershaw's ex-wife?

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:20, archived)

For being a massive prick every time he crosses the three pint barrier I expect.

( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:23, archived)

some mate you are!

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:25, archived)

I know!!!
I even lolled when his dad committed suicide. But then he was quite annoying at our mutual pal's stag do, so i feel justified.
( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:27, archived)

oh man :'(
monty boyce? monty ballbag more like!
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:30, archived)

Oh come on, he hanged himself in their garage whilst they were eating dinner!
Apparently they thought he'd gone for a shit.
( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:31, archived)

should have gone to specsavers :(

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:33, archived)

should've gone for a shit

( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:43, archived)

YOUN A SHTI!!!!

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:46, archived)

I Will Always Love You, In Perpetuity Througout The Known Universe

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:09, archived)

The Four Tops were detained indefinitely during their last Mexican Tour
They are now residents of a mental home in Acapulco.
( Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:16, archived)

haha

( hubare XBOX Gamer tag: hubare | http://twitter.com/hubare, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:05, archived)

shitting fuck!
england scored?
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:30, archived)

ooof nice goal france.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 17:40, archived)

SHUT UP JOCKO

( mongychops handbrake?, that's not how i roll, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:00, archived)

LOL!
england might scrape a draw here, some result that would be.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:02, archived)

it'll do mark, opening game, nice times

( mongychops handbrake?, that's not how i roll, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:55, archived)

yup, easier games to come.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:44, archived)

what's your source for this?

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:49, archived)