House
so yeah, I'm going to buy a house.
what essential modifications do I need to make to it?
Zombie apocalypse bunker of course but what else?
( MONO!, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:42, archived)

You should have a PA system that plays 90's trendy club music
and it's being DJ'd by tv's popular anglo-american actor Hugh Laurie.
So you have a House with House playing House.
( NSA Agent Screening your lols since, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:45, archived)

( MONO!, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:46, archived)

        
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:47, archived)

It's a fucking joke.
Morning
'reet?
( MONO!, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:49, archived)

Yeah
You?
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:51, archived)

yeah, wishing I got paid more though.

( MONO!, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:54, archived)

I know the dance to that one

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:00, archived)

I found out that I'm still being paid as a "trainee" and my manager was surprised to hear that I'm not really a "trainee" anymore.
Prick.
( MONO!, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:01, archived)

Fucking hell
Is that going to change now?
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:04, archived)

Yes.
I'm hoping to get a £1500 pay rise.
( MONO!, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:08, archived)

Cool
Well good luck
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:13, archived)

thanks.

( MONO!, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:14, archived)

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah
( NSA Agent Screening your lols since, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:49, archived)

Boyeeeeeeeee

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:52, archived)

BASS!
How low can you go?
( NSA Agent Screening your lols since, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:55, archived)

I couldn't get much lower than this

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:59, archived)

/talk, presumably.

( Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:21, archived)

can Mr. Laurie occasionally play some dubstep

( Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:46, archived)

it doesn't have to be that godawful skrillex person's music either
it can be some Bassnectar/Ry Legit/Fei-Fei/Dub Zero/xKore
( Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:48, archived)

I like the part where it goes 'wob'

( NSA Agent Screening your lols since, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:51, archived)

OH MAN THAT'S THE BEST PART
my second favorite part is the drop

i especially like it when a song has multiple drops
( Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:52, archived)

RACIST

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:52, archived)

You spelt 'Lacist' wrong

( NSA Agent Screening your lols since, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:57, archived)

I'd like to see you get beaten up by a small elderly asian man.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:58, archived)

i think i seen an animes that went like this once

( Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:02, archived)

Kode 9 FTW.

( Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:51, archived)

( Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:50, archived)

Goalkeeper CIWS Weapons System
Trident Missile Silos

A generator.
( Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:46, archived)

Machine gun towers
On the day you move in, make up your bed first. That way if nothing else gets done, at least you have somewhere to sleep.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:46, archived)

I don't have a bed.
What now?
( MONO!, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:49, archived)

>masturbate

( Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:50, archived)

Buy a bed

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:51, archived)

dear god, it's so simple it might just work!

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:53, archived)

Hey...
It's what I do
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:53, archived)

*fives*

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:56, archived)

*embraces*
*steals wallet*
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:01, archived)

mum! hats is stealing again!

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:04, archived)

SQUEALER
*dead arms*
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:06, archived)

oww!!! MUM, TH IS HITTING AGAIN!!!

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:13, archived)

JESUS!
Alright Mumps...how's the family?
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:13, archived)

not dead, yet.
summer hols are super fun!

how's your brood?
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:15, archived)

Yeah, alright
Loud. Just....loud.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:22, archived)

AND a house?!
are you crazy?!
( MONO!, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:54, archived)

Hmm...good point
I recommend buying a decent bed and a tent
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:59, archived)

I have a tent.

( MONO!, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:02, archived)

Well then you're half way there!
You're really getting the hang of this home-owner lark!
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:05, archived)

a massive lego sex dungeon.
for when you have sex with lego.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:48, archived)

inside, there should be blonde swedish women with huge titties
make it so, MONO
( Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:49, archived)

I don't think tits would be as fun made of lego...

( MONO!, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:50, archived)

are you sure MONO!
I think you just got a summer project.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:51, archived)

Maybe I could stick a fleshlight between them

( MONO!, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:55, archived)

there you go. to the MONO!cave
*spinning MONO! logo*
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:57, archived)

DADADADADADAAAAAAAA

( Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:02, archived)

Bits would fall off and then you'd inevitably step on them with bare feet. :(

( Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:52, archived)

Oh man, maybe I should just keep my shoes on.

( MONO!, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:56, archived)

windows
maybe a door
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:49, archived)

It'll have them already.

( MONO!, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:50, archived)

you posh cunt

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:50, archived)

i was going to say the other day when you mentioned buying a house that needed some work,
And how itit would be fun to do it up a bit. Its not fun. It's very stressful. It's worth it because you get the house you want rather than moving in to someone else's house. I don't regret it, but boy was it hard fucking work, and far more expensive than you will realise now.
You'd think stuff+predicted labour = costs. But no.
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:54, archived)

I have a classic car I'm well aware of costs.
It will be fun, I enjoy such things.
( MONO!, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 9:57, archived)

a Vauxhall Nova isn't a classic car, Mono

( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:02, archived)

does this mean my nissan sunny isn't a classic either :'(

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:03, archived)

doesn't classic just mean over 25 years old?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:04, archived)

I have no idea Q. If only there was somone who beakered on about cars on this forum.
sadtimes :'(
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:05, archived)

wikipedia says in the UK it's any car made before 1973
or that is over 15 years old and is worth more than £15,000

wtf?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:17, archived)

www.b3tards.com/u/af10d6f92cc0af07c384/valerie.jpg
( MONO!, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:07, archived)

Oh yes, of course
Very nice. I have a friend that would be extremely jealous.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:14, archived)

would they like to purchase it from me?

( MONO!, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:15, archived)

Oh, almost certainly
And in fact he would be able to live in it when his wife kicks him out for buying it.
What are you hoping to get for it? Doesn't hurt to ask.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:21, archived)

I have recently ripped out and replaced two rooms in my house
It was very stressful. Hope this helps.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:01, archived)

Yeah but you seem that sort that would see it as work.
I'd see it as MANLY PLAY TIME! YEAH!
Aaaaaaaaaaand just to paint a wall I'd better go get all the tools...
Brushes and paint and a couple of welding kits and a massive drill and a sledgehammer and a cement mixer and and and
( MONO!, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:04, archived)

Yes, I did see it as work
I just tend to focus on the goal, and not really enjoy what's going on. If money was less of an issue I'd pay someone to do the lot, if I'm being honest.
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:06, archived)

I love doing shit like that.
it might be hard work but I do it FOR ME!
I hate working for other people.
( MONO!, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:08, archived)

I'm a very generous employer
I made lunch for our plasterer. That's right...LUNCH
( Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:12, archived)

I wish my boss would make me lunch

( MONO!, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:15, archived)

Open plan kitchen diners are an essential modern day feature
perfect for everyday use as well as entertaining guests
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Jun 2012, 10:06, archived)