I've got a thread for you.
Ever been in an accident? I was sorting all the paperwork from my accident last year, and was thinking about what happened, and how scared I was and such. And then I thought, I've never really considered how the bloke that hit me felt.
so, ever hit someone? How did you feel.
inb4 fuck of to /OT
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 12:38, archived)

WANKER!!

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 12:39, archived)

yeah, sorry about that.

( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 12:40, archived)

if you weren't such a cutie I'd nurple you with malice.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 12:41, archived)

you're a kind man MMPS,
a kind and gentle and sexy.
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 12:42, archived)

I stubbed my toe once

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 12:42, archived)

that really does hurt,
i mean like, really really hurts.
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 12:44, archived)

I stubbed my toe on a conrete slab while wearing sandals when I was 5
it still hurts :'(
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 12:45, archived)

I still remember the various times I had my fingers chacked in car doors
I think my parents hate me
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:23, archived)

I'm not certain chacked is even a word to describe that anymore

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:23, archived)

I've never heard it eely. soz

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:31, archived)

imagine if I had used that word around real people

my parents are out to ruin me
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:41, archived)

they do seem quite mean :'(
did they change the locks at home all the time?
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:41, archived)

my childhood was like the film homeward bound and its multiple sequels and I was all three talking animals

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:45, archived)

Call claims direct! You can probably sue the ass off your toe.

( 2 Can Chunder I've got you wrapped around my finger, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:19, archived)

I think it was the fault of the foot for driving too close behind though

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:24, archived)

Did you have toe insurance?

( 2 Can Chunder I've got you wrapped around my finger, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:34, archived)

only third party, fire and left

no right :(
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:50, archived)

You should get it from that 'compare the meerkat'. They send you a free cuddly meerkat.
You can hollow it out and put it over your foot for extra protection.
( 2 Can Chunder I've got you wrapped around my finger, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:47, archived)

to answer your question, yes I have hit someone.
internet hardman, right here.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 12:44, archived)

did she like it?

( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 12:45, archived)

your mum always loves it pigster.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 12:46, archived)

No, her dummy fell out.

( 2 Can Chunder I've got you wrapped around my finger, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:20, archived)

you cad!

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:26, archived)

Got knocked off my bicycle last week.
Serves me right for riding an oversized kid's toy. Ima buy an SUV now just to feel safe
(Drimble Show me, don't tell me, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 12:44, archived)

did a jedi knock you over?
that would have been LOL!
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 12:46, archived)

I should totally make a gif of this.

(Drimble Show me, don't tell me, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 12:52, archived)

that'd be so LOL!

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 12:53, archived)

if i were you,
i'd get a tank.
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 12:46, archived)

*sproings*
Tee hee hee
( jenpots, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:06, archived)

POTTER!

( MONO!, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:09, archived)

:oD
Howdy. Are you well?
( jenpots, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:09, archived)

Lovely, I found a house I really like.
It's £165,000 though.
I'm going to go see it and talk to the bank.
( MONO!, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:12, archived)

How are you? you seem good because you're all smiley.
are you on drugs?
( MONO!, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:12, archived)

Nope
Just a happy little jenpots.
( jenpots, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:14, archived)

Have you been getting some?

( MONO!, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:15, archived)

Ohh, good luck with that!

( jenpots, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:13, archived)

:D
Do you reckon my parents would lend me £16500?
( MONO!, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:16, archived)

Hello Pottso,
what's the craic?
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:20, archived)

:((((((((((((

( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:06, archived)

my fault

not my fault
( Grrrmachine and then you go and spoil it all, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:17, archived)

and yet you still drive.
although, you probably shouldn't.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:22, archived)

Of course I do
We're all going to die. I want to make sure it's by my own hand, not some stupid fucking bacteria or withering genetic downfall.
( Grrrmachine and then you go and spoil it all, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:23, archived)

so you got a bmw estate.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:25, archived)

ha,
i like the van one. You silly man.
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:23, archived)

I was only 21
And I wanted to use the engine in my Vauxhall Viva.
( Grrrmachine and then you go and spoil it all, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:23, archived)

and the follow-up story
was better
( Grrrmachine and then you go and spoil it all, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:26, archived)

so, did you shag any of them?

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:31, archived)

just add this paragraph to the end
"she subsequently took me back to her place, where she tied me to the bed and modelled her exquisite collection of military uniforms before sodomising me with a pickelhaube."
( Grrrmachine and then you go and spoil it all, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:37, archived)

aww man, you have all the fun :'(

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:38, archived)

why did you want to put that engine in a viva?

( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:28, archived)

A Viva with that engine is called a Magnum
Bedford = Vauxhall, they shared parts, and the engine and gearbox would have dropped straight in.
( Grrrmachine and then you go and spoil it all, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:32, archived)

why is it called a magnum?

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:36, archived)

because it has a really impressive moustache on the front

( Grrrmachine and then you go and spoil it all, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:37, archived)

80'stvlolz

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:38, archived)

I think piggy was asking in a more metaphysical manner

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:44, archived)

haha, you turned into a service station
ima call you clackton from now on!
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:01, archived)

Someone pulled out in front of me without looking. There wasn't room to brake in time so dented the front of my car.
Spent the next 5 hours on the phone to his workplace, insurance companies, garages, car rentals...
Don't care how he felt TBH, his was a company van and he was an arse.
( 2 Can Chunder I've got you wrapped around my finger, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:26, archived)

fair enough,
next time be a man and punch the cunt.
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:28, archived)

dr toucan always prescribes a bunch of fives :(

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:30, archived)

I'm assuming it cures everything 'cos they never come back.

( 2 Can Chunder I've got you wrapped around my finger, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:32, archived)

Right, got to go and do a home visit now.
CHUNDER.... AWAY!!!
( 2 Can Chunder I've got you wrapped around my finger, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:34, archived)

"an eldery woman was beaten into a coma today, doctors say it was to cure a cold"

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:36, archived)

Ch

( 2 Can Chunder I've got you wrapped around my finger, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:11, archived)

ev

( 2 Can Chunder I've got you wrapped around my finger, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:11, archived)

e

( MONO!, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:15, archived)

what the FUCK are you doing Mono? Why don't you fuck off back to the popular page instead of ruining my chevron.

( 2 Can Chunder I've got you wrapped around my finger, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:16, archived)

Fuck's sake

( 2 Can Chunder I've got you wrapped around my finger, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:18, archived)

popular MONO! always ruins it :(

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:26, archived)

e

( MONO!, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:15, archived)

s

( MONO!, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:15, archived)

e

( MONO!, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:15, archived)

r

( 2 Can Chunder I've got you wrapped around my finger, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:13, archived)

on

( 2 Can Chunder I've got you wrapped around my finger, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:13, archived)

just puch yourself in the face three times a day
if the symptoms continue, kick yourself in the cunt.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:34, archived)

chev
ron
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:00, archived)

I was in a hurry on my way to work so I just swapped details with him so we could arrange a fight at a later date.

( 2 Can Chunder I've got you wrapped around my finger, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:31, archived)

chevron

( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:59, archived)

im a white van man, i hit people for lols

( mongychops handbrake?, that's not how i roll, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:34, archived)

oh man, video it then put a jedi in it.
that'd be well LOL!
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:41, archived)

might be tricky im normally on the phone and the internet, dunno how i'd hold a camera and im not prepared to put my beer down

( mongychops handbrake?, that's not how i roll, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:43, archived)

that's it, I'm getting the next train down.
I'll bring a bottle of bells.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:44, archived)

I've been in an accident,
but I wasn't driving, and we only hit a barrier, fortunately. If we'd hit another vehicle it would probably have been messy.
( Moon Girl Technologies don't take my word for anything, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:35, archived)

that barrier was the father of two young bollards, you cold

( mongychops handbrake?, that's not how i roll, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:37, archived)

I crashed webwench's classic beetle.
and I've been the passenger of two crashes, one where the car rolled and the other where the car flew.
( MONO!, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:38, archived)

I've only been in one crash.
it was in a nissan bluebird and the other car was well fucked.
the bluebird had a small scratch on the bumper.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:40, archived)

I came off my motorbike twice,
other than the big accident. one was just a slippery road and was barely an accident, the other, i overcooked a corner, fishtailed a little, and got catapulted in to the side of a transit van parked in the drveway on the bend.
that was very embarrasing
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:46, archived)

good thing you gave up the bike, you were well shit at riding it.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:47, archived)

:((((((((((((

( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:50, archived)

not my fault you crashed lots.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:51, archived)

i wouldn't say twice is lots.

( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:54, archived)

good thing you gave the bike up when you did, keep it at that.
whom else would snuggle me if you were gone?
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:57, archived)

awww, you're so mushy today,
hormones?
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:04, archived)

can't I just love you without all the jibes :'(((((

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:28, archived)

all the scars I've got have been from shitty embarrasing accidents
I never get any cool crippling injuries :(
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:52, archived)

My most crippling accidents were
breaking my hand whilst skiing off piste
and cutting my wrist open whilst cutting a massive block of cheese.
( MONO!, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:53, archived)

how did you manage to cut your wrist doing that?
was it shit cheese and the thought of eating it was too much?
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:56, archived)

next time he should cut more CAERPHILLY

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:58, archived)

great gag eely, I (port) salut you!

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:59, archived)

you babybellend

( 2 Can Chunder I've got you wrapped around my finger, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:22, archived)

it was a fucking big block of cheese.
and pushing down on it with all my weight cut through very very slowly.
My hand slipped off the end of the knife and came back up catching my wrist on the blunted point tearing right through to the bone.
Strangely it didn't bleed at all for about 5 minutes.
( MONO!, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:18, archived)

I cut the end of my finger off and sliced through my arm
but then, I did work as a chef.
they gave me plastic knives as a joke :'(((((
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:25, archived)

This was whilst cheffing.
it was good fun, all happened the day before one of our busiest days, I was only there to do all the prep work for it.
( MONO!, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:41, archived)

I think the best crippling injury/scar to have would be a shark bite to the torso

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:56, archived)

only if you killed it.
fucker got my kidney but I got his head!
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:58, archived)

I bet that camembhurt

( 2 Can Chunder I've got you wrapped around my finger, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:42, archived)

The front of the beetle was caved in, the woman's car I'd gone into the back of had a small crack on her bumper
She said "you must've been going really fast" and "I think you've come off better than me"

I was doing less than 30, but was going down a hill and hit a patch of ice when I hit the brake. Nearly broke my fucking nose on the steering wheel.
( MONO!, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:47, archived)

boy, they sure made those beetles to last!

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:49, archived)

is this another of your lies?
and don't say "classic beetle" when grry is around, it makes him go all funny
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:40, archived)

he crashed it,
there'll be cheers
( Moon Girl Technologies don't take my word for anything, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:41, archived)

yeah, grrry just got a chubby.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:42, archived)

All true guvna

( MONO!, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:44, archived)

rolling is a bit scary,
we were out in the Landrover with my dad and he decided that it would be fine to drive across the river rather than go up to the bridge.
We got really wet. i learnt a lot of new swear words that day.
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:48, archived)

I was asleep and woke up as it happened.
After the car finally stopped my first words where "give me a minute"
I didn't have a clue where I was or what had just happened.
( MONO!, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:52, archived)

I frequently crash through driver faults.
But that's because I can't program for shit.
( Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:58, archived)

BOOM!
Mr. Tea brings it back for the Internet!!
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:59, archived)

Now I am become Lolz, destroyer of worlds!

( Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:09, archived)

my girlfriend ran over a cyclist once
she was coming out of a junction with a high wall next to it and he went right across the bonnet

she was worried she'd killed him, proper shitted him up
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:59, archived)

poor eely. :((

( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:01, archived)

I've never been hit by a car, only badgers and completely stationary kerbs :(

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:03, archived)

kerbs are tricky,
some of them you an go up, called "drop kerbs" and some, you can't. It's a minefield out there.
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:05, archived)

Good for crawling along, however.

( Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:22, archived)

Did she put him out of his misery by sitting on him?

( 2 Can Chunder I've got you wrapped around my finger, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:39, archived)

Wait, when you say 'proper shitted him up' are you referring to your girlfriend?
In which case your girlfriend is clearly a man.
A big fat man.
( 2 Can Chunder I've got you wrapped around my finger, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:40, archived)

I think there may have been a car involved.

(Drimble Show me, don't tell me, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:40, archived)

She crushed a cyclist AND a car?

( 2 Can Chunder I've got you wrapped around my finger, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:43, archived)

BMW vs MTB vs BBW

(Drimble Show me, don't tell me, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:46, archived)

i dunno why you hate me, chunder
i did mean to say 'shitted her up' though
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:48, archived)

Of course I don't hate you, it's just banter innit?
I'm sorry if your girlfriend really is a fat man and I've offended you.
( 2 Can Chunder I've got you wrapped around my finger, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:52, archived)

also, i've never been in one, but I AM one

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:00, archived)

This one time I accidentally the whole flesh light.

( mike woz ere 7442200 getter, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 15:00, archived)