I've only been in one crash.
it was in a nissan bluebird and the other car was well fucked.
the bluebird had a small scratch on the bumper.
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:40, archived)

I came off my motorbike twice,
other than the big accident. one was just a slippery road and was barely an accident, the other, i overcooked a corner, fishtailed a little, and got catapulted in to the side of a transit van parked in the drveway on the bend.
that was very embarrasing
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:46, archived)

good thing you gave up the bike, you were well shit at riding it.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:47, archived)

:((((((((((((

( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:50, archived)

not my fault you crashed lots.

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:51, archived)

i wouldn't say twice is lots.

( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:54, archived)

good thing you gave the bike up when you did, keep it at that.
whom else would snuggle me if you were gone?
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:57, archived)

awww, you're so mushy today,
hormones?
( Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:04, archived)

can't I just love you without all the jibes :'(((((

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:28, archived)

all the scars I've got have been from shitty embarrasing accidents
I never get any cool crippling injuries :(
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:52, archived)

My most crippling accidents were
breaking my hand whilst skiing off piste
and cutting my wrist open whilst cutting a massive block of cheese.
( MONO!, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:53, archived)

how did you manage to cut your wrist doing that?
was it shit cheese and the thought of eating it was too much?
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:56, archived)

next time he should cut more CAERPHILLY

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:58, archived)

great gag eely, I (port) salut you!

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:59, archived)

you babybellend

( 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:22, archived)

it was a fucking big block of cheese.
and pushing down on it with all my weight cut through very very slowly.
My hand slipped off the end of the knife and came back up catching my wrist on the blunted point tearing right through to the bone.
Strangely it didn't bleed at all for about 5 minutes.
( MONO!, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:18, archived)

I cut the end of my finger off and sliced through my arm
but then, I did work as a chef.
they gave me plastic knives as a joke :'(((((
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:25, archived)

This was whilst cheffing.
it was good fun, all happened the day before one of our busiest days, I was only there to do all the prep work for it.
( MONO!, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:41, archived)

I think the best crippling injury/scar to have would be a shark bite to the torso

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:56, archived)

only if you killed it.
fucker got my kidney but I got his head!
( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:58, archived)

I bet that camembhurt

( 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 14:42, archived)

The front of the beetle was caved in, the woman's car I'd gone into the back of had a small crack on her bumper
She said "you must've been going really fast" and "I think you've come off better than me"

I was doing less than 30, but was going down a hill and hit a patch of ice when I hit the brake. Nearly broke my fucking nose on the steering wheel.
( MONO!, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:47, archived)

boy, they sure made those beetles to last!

( mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Mon 2 Jul 2012, 13:49, archived)