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Friday nights alright for fighting.
I'm going to a birthday party tonight at the Black Swan in Cowley. It's notoriously rough, and the beer is awful. I might get beaten to death.
What might kill you this weekend? Your crippling food addiction maybe? Or are you going hang gliding? Or something else dangerous.
(, Fri 19 May 2017, 16:52, archived)
Bill Hicks made fun of Cowley when he performed in Oxford
That's my knowledge of Bill Hicks and Cowley used up.
(, Fri 19 May 2017, 16:53, archived)
It used to be a bit grim.
It's very hipster now, but some of the rough old bits hang on.
(, Fri 19 May 2017, 16:58, archived)
I just googled it
the crown house club sounds like a brothel
(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:02, archived)
Grubby pool hall. Good for buying drugs.

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:04, archived)
so you there at 9

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:07, archived)
So you are led it off the at 9

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:09, archived)
I'm gonna so it good, m8

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:12, archived)
God, I really hate my fucking neighbours

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 16:59, archived)
Also, I'm sorry I missed Dan Dan Dan
Because I wanted to tell him that I hate him, and wish he was dead
(, Fri 19 May 2017, 16:59, archived)
I can't work out whether he was apologising for being a rape apologist,
or gloating over being proved right (for a given value of right).
(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:01, archived)
I lost interest in what he was banging on about almost immediately

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:03, archived)
he wants validation on the internet

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:04, archived)
So do I, but at least I keep it short and snappy

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:05, archived)
and the sex is amazing!

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:07, archived)
YOU are welcome x

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:08, archived)
Yeah but from us? I can't even click the links

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:05, archived)
oh :(

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:06, archived)
God would tell you to shut the fuck up and be civil to your neighbours

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:01, archived)
fuck that prick

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:03, archived)
I've signed a waiver absolving the climbing centre of blame, should I break my neck whilst using their facilities.
Fortunately, my fear of heights keeps me safe.
(, Fri 19 May 2017, 16:59, archived)
Don't they have some bloke holding a rope to stop you falling and making a mess?

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:10, archived)
Not in the bouldering room, no,
and I'm often reliant on the auto-belays on the big walls. Even with a human belay, the risk remains. Hoping to do a Lead course, this year, which has an increased risk of smacking one's head against the wall.

#shutupmonstermunch
(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:13, archived)
Can't you just go climb a tree like a normal child?

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:16, archived)
Why not just stay on the ground. Less chance of falling off it.

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:17, archived)
'the bouldering room' sounds like some kind of Vauxhall GS club thing

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:21, archived)
I've been to some kind of Vauxhall GS club thing
It wasn't my cuppa
(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:33, archived)
Each to their own, but me neither
I am actually quite a prude if I'm honest
(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:40, archived)
I hope they all get hiv and die

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 18:15, archived)
know a couple of people who've been to torture garden.

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:49, archived)
A old mate of mine used to go to those, he's about 6'6" and would wear a full SS officer's uniform

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:56, archived)
I like to go in there and use The Beastmaker.

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:34, archived)
IBYD

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:40, archived)
Stick my fingers in some small holes and work in my grip.
Maybe do a bit of smearing.
(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:42, archived)
We've borrowed a pressure washer for the washing of the patio
so will probably clean everything we can at the same time.

Bicycles, car, motorbike, lawn, cat* etc.

*don't have cat, next door does...
(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:07, archived)
I wouldn't pressure was a motorbike

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:09, archived)
Was it?

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:11, archived)
It was.

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:16, archived)
*walks dinosaur*

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:41, archived)
It's not very powerful
not like the ones you get in those carwash places - they have a kick like a shotgun - and I'll stand away away
(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:14, archived)
I wouldn't pressure was a bicycle, you'll force water past the seals and your bearings will pack up
Pushbike chat
(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:28, archived)
I wouldn't wash a bicycle full stop; life's too short.

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:37, archived)
Just the chain really
They get so clogged up after all that sticky lube and dirt and it's manky cleaning them by hand
(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:40, archived)
I wouldn't really use water and soap to do that.
Chuck the chain in a Jam jar full of isopropyl alcohol or petrol if you're feeling adventurous, screw the lid on and shake it.
(, Fri 19 May 2017, 18:10, archived)
Fenwicks is good, plus less likely to take your face off

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 18:18, archived)
But would you download a car?

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:41, archived)
y

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 18:08, archived)
<s> my willy it's

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 18:07, archived)
I've just received some spam that's told me to 'trim it like Charlie Dimmock'.

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:16, archived)
Late middle aged lady gardeners with prominent nipples y/n

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:29, archived)
titmarsh cor!

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:33, archived)
I'd let him 'lay some decking' in my 'back garden' any day!

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:47, archived)

garden board
(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:40, archived)
TIME

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:27, archived)
I'm (hopefully) unlikely to be killed by anything this weekend
My mate is trying to persuade me to see London Posse twice as the first one is sold out. I think I will.
(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:28, archived)

London Insane Clown
(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:30, archived)
no m8

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:41, archived)
I don't know the London posse.

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:47, archived)
Money Mad is to my mind probably the best UK hip hop record ever made

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:48, archived)
^takes his trousers off whenever he hears 'my beatbox reggae style'.

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:53, archived)
Of course

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 17:57, archived)
Amazing that it was released in '87
Waaay ahead of its time. Literally no-one else was MCing with UK accents at that point
(, Fri 19 May 2017, 18:00, archived)
Yeah should be good. Hope you enjoy it. I didn't end up getting round to booking it because I'm a fucking wally.

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 18:08, archived)
They might sound like they're from the UK, but everything about this video screams comptonesque gangsta rap.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ahFJmFcY98
(, Fri 19 May 2017, 18:20, archived)
Not played that in aaaages

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 18:31, archived)
Rodders doesn't seem to have aged.

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 19:56, archived)
Getting fucking hammered tonight, maybe.
I took the day off for the sole purpose of taking a delivery, the confirmation of which I got by text message this morning, and the cunts never turned up. I ordered the item on 10 April...this must be literally their seventh failed attempt to deliver it.

So it's either get hammered or punch a random stranger who's looking at me funny, because I am seriously angry right now.
(, Fri 19 May 2017, 18:33, archived)
I'm drinking some Russian beer called 'Baltika' it's alright.
Is Grrry about to say it's shit?
(, Fri 19 May 2017, 20:47, archived)