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Well HELLO, what's all this, then?
I have come down like t3h angel of t3h Lord, to free you from the shackles of that not-very-good thread. You're fucking welcome. Just got a litre of Tanqueray for £20. That's a good deal, eh?

Yes, Richard, yes it is.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:21, archived)
It's a jolly nice day up here in the dullest part of London
I discovered a nice park earlier, had no idea it was there despite having worked here over ten years. Thanks, Pokemon Go!
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:23, archived)
Pokémon Go! is still shit and for wankers, Richard.
It's turned hot, here, all of a sudden. I might have to take off all my clothes.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:25, archived)
It keeps me walking, I don't mind it at all
Far less dull than some bent 'step counter' or whatever
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:29, archived)
pedo-meter

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:30, archived)
nonce-cubit

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:41, archived)
Ok, I know how you love an amusing name
Someone who works for our company has been brought to my attention, named......Randy. Sweat.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:15, archived)
I can only imagine that you've fainted, due to the sheer gravity of this revelation

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:29, archived)
there's a new girl in my local shop called funkie , yes she's black

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:31, archived)
Wow

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:32, archived)
sounds like a jehri-curled soul smoothie
Like Lenny Henry's parody, Theophilus whatsisname
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:33, archived)
Theophilus P. Wildebeest

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:35, archived)
that's the chap

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:39, archived)
He doesn't have a photo on his profile, unfortunately
so I'm unable to confirm. My apologies.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:38, archived)
It's OK ma8

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:39, archived)
*talcs*
*spins*
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:39, archived)
I live such an exciting, active lifestyle that I don't need to go out of by way to maintain my superman physique.
I'm a literal übermensch.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:54, archived)
Jew Bum Stench, more like
*shrugs*
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:55, archived)
I don't appreciate this, 2Hats.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:59, archived)
Sorry, I'm just trying, is all

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:01, archived)
Yes, you're very trying!
Hahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa!
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:09, archived)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:10, archived)
Mark my words, this'll be the funniest remark of the week.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:13, archived)
Might as well go home, everyone

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:21, archived)
Thanks, boss!

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:34, archived)
Strikey-g

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:39, archived)
Thanks, hoss!

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:50, archived)

a literal uber as worthless and repugnant a human being as Louise
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:07, archived)
You go too far.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:10, archived)
You don't go far enough.
Go on - be off with you
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:11, archived)
Yep
That pretty much sums it up.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 17:13, archived)
You mean the FHM Girl Of The Decade Louise?
You are a CAD sir! And I demand satisfaction. Meet me at dawn tomorrow. Pistols or swords?
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 17:47, archived)
Angel of the North, more like
because you're tall and filthy, do you see?
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:28, archived)
That's fair, although I deeply resent being associated with the north

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:33, archived)
Until they build one south of watford
I'm afraid you're just going to have to live with it
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:36, archived)
well I don't have to like it, do I

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:37, archived)
No
By god, you don't
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:44, archived)
bit pissed off the polarization on my (very expensive) sunglasses has cracked, going to have to remove it making paying extra for it pointless

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:28, archived)
are you not better off taking it to an opticians to have them re-coated?

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:31, archived)
still have to remove the old stuff, i'll do it myself, fuck oakley tho, never again

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:33, archived)
My missus' £250 Marc Jacobs shades got smashed when she had her accident
I tried to buy her some more on the sly to cheer her up (matching what I could see for sale online with photos of her wearing them), but they don't make that style any more. Ah well, thought that counts eh. £250 more for records and sneakers.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:35, archived)
you are too kind, that's your trouble, i'd buy new lenses but these are discontinued now

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:36, archived)
Places like glasses direct etc will put new lenses in.
I should really go to the opticians. I lost my glasses about a month before I could get a free eye test and they wouldn't budge on it. So i've not had a checkup in 4 years.

Also I wouldn't mind treating myself to some actual wayfarers.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:39, archived)
wayfarers are very large and let a load of light in from the side, never worked on me

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:41, archived)
Yeah, they can look shit if you've not got the face for them.
I'll have to see, might have to get something similar but narrower.

I've got some prescription quicksilvers that are alright. For some reason prescription tints seem to be more forgiving with old scripts.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:42, archived)
I'd get these if it weren't for the rather hefty pricetag
www.fruugo.co.uk/cazal-legends-607-sunglasses-in-shiny-black/p-3690120-7962038?gclid=Cj0KEQjwwLHLBRDEq9DQxK2I_p8BEiQA3UDVDi-1py90FO4aFj9rJnwwwB0EEQgrxsVgCYgfJTYdhOQaApOU8P8HAQ
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:46, archived)
Gay-quarers MORE LIKE!

See, Yeti?
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:42, archived)
Now you're making me want to ninja-edit my post and make you look like you're saying the wrong thing.
Or GAYing the SCHLONG thing, etc. etc.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:46, archived)
GAYing the SCHLONG RING ffs

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:03, archived)
I've never spent more than 20 quid on a pair of sunglasses, I always break them or lose them and I don't really wear sunglasses anyway. My last pair were from M&S

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:58, archived)
the (very expensive) bit is an old sammi meme

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:02, archived)
^ I've got 5 or so years out of the last sub £20 pair I bought.
Showing their age, now, so might get a new pair, next year.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:03, archived)
Check out all you cunts with your working eyes.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:06, archived)
If it's any consolation, I'm ever so slightly astigmatic, and a trifle long sighted.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:12, archived)
I can't read the PAT test sticker on the back of my opposite-colleagues' monitor without my glasses. It's about a meter away.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:42, archived)
mine are fucked
i wear sunglasses because i have serious issues with natural light
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:38, archived)
*throws rice at the door*

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:47, archived)
now that's just a waste of perfectly good rice

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:55, archived)
alright 'corey hart'

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:48, archived)
He'

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:50, archived)
silly person.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:54, archived)
TanquerGAY, more like.
I bet you bought some Mount Gay rum at the same time, you auld buftie.

This week's only a few hours in and I'm already knackered. I've probably spent about two hours actually working today and the rest of the time faffing around on t3h 1nt3rw3bz.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:36, archived)
missed a trick here m8, could've gone for WANKERGAY

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:39, archived)
Damn, you're right.
You've played this game more than I have.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:40, archived)
At the risk of sounding like a right bent
I do like a cheeky Mount Gay
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:17, archived)
It's excellent
Cockspur also

What is it with rums and gay-sounding names?
www.31dover.com/spirits/rum/bumbu-rum.html
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:27, archived)
This looks interesting
www.31dover.com/spirits/rum/dark-rum/plantation-pineapple-stiggins-fancy.html
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:28, archived)
It's the naval connection.
Rum was popular amongst sailors, sailors would spend weeks/months at sea with no women, you know what that leads to.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:31, archived)
No, I'm afraid I don't, m8

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:34, archived)
^ so deep in denial, he needs to watch out for crocodiles

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:35, archived)
Treated myself to a bottle of Cointreau yesterday.
Wasn't on offer or anything but it's so deliciously orangey.
I've been drinking it out of the bottle.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:39, archived)
bogging, I bet you like the orange revels as well you freak.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:41, archived)
Orange is the best flavour for everything

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:46, archived)
It's not the best flavour for crisps.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:49, archived)
Have you tried orange crips? I expect they're lovely, had some lime and chilli ones which were pretty nice.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:50, archived)
No, but I have tried chilli and chocolate crisps and they were vile, even though chilli chocolate is delish.
I can see lime and chilli working as a combination.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:07, archived)
I make an absolutely banging lime and chilli sauce.
They're both major ingredients in Jerk chicken etc.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:10, archived)
^ loves to jerk his meat

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:18, archived)
1/3 Cointreau, 2/3 sparkling water and a huge squeeze of lemon juice
Nice refreshing palate cleanser

You can always pep it up with a shot of vodka, also
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:41, archived)
add some gin, some tequila and some white rum and you've got a sort of iced tea

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:42, archived)
I could manage that I think, I struggle with sweet cocktails on the whole but that's pretty much all spirits
White or gold tequila, would you say?
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:06, archived)
white is the norm, but as this isn't the norm who cares, go wild

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:12, archived)
Mixing - white
Drinking straight- gold
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:18, archived)
I've not touched it since my student days *shudder*
But I tried a sipping tequila once which was about £9 a shot and it was fackin LAVLY
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:20, archived)
I like a nice tequila every now and then - you just have to prepare for the taste
I always try to get people to try it how they do in Hungary - same way we do (salt, tequila, lemon) but replace the salt with a dash of cinnamon and the lemon with orange - it seems to mask and cancel out the flavour of the tequila

Also, this stuff is gorgeous served ice cold and sipped on a hot day
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 16:55, archived)
I prefer to pep it up by not watering it down in the first place

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:46, archived)
This is coming vaguely close to making me want to buy Cointreau.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:50, archived)
I've not drunk liqueur in years, and I'm wracking my brain trying to remember which ones I liked.
Might have been Glayva, or Drambuie - they're both whisky-based, aren't they? Can't really remember what Cointreau is like.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:28, archived)
Drambuie is fucking rank
Like drinking honey.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:35, archived)
Sounds like something I'd probably enjoy, to be honest.
I love honey, me.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:37, archived)
Honey jack Daniels and lemonade is the sweetest thing ever

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:43, archived)
*shudders and feels my molars dissolving*

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:46, archived)
Jack Daniels isn't particularly nice at the best of times.
One of those drinks of last resort, if there's nothing better on offer.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:55, archived)
90% of the liqueurs I've tried have been too sweet for me.
Even Southern Comfort's too sweet.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:38, archived)
I've been using up the leftover Southern Comfort with ginger beer and lime, this year.
I'd forgotten what a shit drink it is neat, though. Just unpleasant.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:49, archived)
It really is.
I was at a bar with a group of Americans who were raving about it so I ordered one in the interests of trying everything once, and it has no redeeming virtues.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:57, archived)
Stupid yanks.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 16:02, archived)
'even'? It's like syrup

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 16:03, archived)
They're shit that's why.
Drink some port at that time of the evening instead.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:45, archived)
A lad I know developed gout, on account of his diet being almost entirely meat pies and port.
I've pretty much given up wine, fortified or otherwise.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:53, archived)
lol.
I reckon as I get older I'm going to drink fewer beer and more red wine. Hopefully responsibly, but possibly not.

Haven't got twatted on white russians in a long time. Might do that this weekend.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:55, archived)
Alright, the dude.
My disdain for vodka is well known, but a White Russians are bloody lovely. The Black Russian is none too shabby, either, although the last place I had one of those would top them off with coke, which didn't upset me as much as I though it might.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 16:00, archived)
I can take or leave bowling but I certainly like white russians, weed and CCR.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 16:05, archived)
I thought that coke was part of a BR tbh

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 16:06, archived)
Ah, t3h interweb tells me that is a 'cola black russian'

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 16:07, archived)
I always thought it was just a white russian without the milk.
Although that'd be shite using pub measures.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 16:08, archived)
Exactly. Making it into a long drink was a good idea, and it's about the only time I've found cola to be an acceptable mixer.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 16:19, archived)
Morgans and coke is alright.
I certainly wouldn't want to drink it neat like OVD or saink.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 16:31, archived)
I drank a whole bottle of Morgan's Spiced in a single sitting, once.
Put me off for life. See also: Malibu.

Spent a night polishing off a bottle of Jim Beam with my brother, once. It was quite a treat to see him stand at the end of the evening and pitch forward onto the carpet. Not sure I've got the constitution for these sorts of shenanigans, these days - I'd probably just quietly pass out.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 16:48, archived)
I don't know if I've ever knowingly had Malibu.
My parents may still have a bottle of it in their drinks cabinet that is older than I am.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 16:53, archived)
Needed in an iced tea

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 16:34, archived)
Not a lot of it, though.
Generally speaking, mixing a single measure of a spirit into a highball full of cola will just overpower the flavour of the spirit, in a slightly unpleasant fashion.
To my taste, anyway. Pretty much everyone else deems it acceptable..
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 16:41, archived)
All this booze talk of giving me quite the thirst.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 16:49, archived)

Cointreau Kia-Ora
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:47, archived)
Be my dog?

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:48, archived)
GS?

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:54, archived)
I'm on my 3rd Gordon's & tonic already

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:53, archived)

www.thegaygordons.org/
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:10, archived)
yes

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:54, archived)
I just found it for £17.59
You ain't no Martin Lewis bruv
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 14:57, archived)
Within walking distance of my office?
NO SIR, YOU HAVE NOT
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:12, archived)
Just think how many extra Pokémon you'd have harvested if you were able to walk more than a couple of miles without keeling over.

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:19, archived)
MARTIN LEWIS SMACKDOWN

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:20, archived)
that IS a good deal
got a bottle of bombay sapphire a while back off an elderly and somewhat befuddled relative, who'd somehow mistaken it for perfume.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 15:35, archived)
"Here you go, Smash. You smell like the back of a distillery, anyway."

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 16:20, archived)
haha

(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 16:24, archived)
That is a good deal.
I'm beginning to regret my lunch time pints as I am falling asleep.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 16:40, archived)
I'm falling asleep and I didn't have any lunchtime pints.
I think you win.
(, Mon 17 Jul 2017, 16:45, archived)