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"Leaving now, be home in about half an hour"
I sent that to my wife once I'd left the pub, after my work's christmas do last year. Wild, right?
(, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:23, Reply)
sounds like your wife does the plumbing in the house

(, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:24, Reply)
I don't quite understand this reference
but it sounds jolly rude!
(, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:29, Reply)
more jolly than rude

(, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:29, Reply)
Not wild if sent from outside the pub.
Wild if sent from within the pub with a row of pints on the table.
(, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:25, Reply)
That would just be lying though

(, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:29, Reply)
Aka 'being wildly economical with the truth'.

(, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:33, Reply)
fucking mental

(, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:25, Reply)
I do not give a single heck, m8
I also don't send stupid text messages while drunk. Because I'm not a fool/child.
(, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:27, Reply)
might watch the screaming egg video again

(, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:29, Reply)
I already watched it for longer than I should have
but yeah, I'm going to watch it again
(, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:29, Reply)
this popped up as recommended
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCeQLeQiRP4
(, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:30, Reply)
I enjoyed that a great deal

(, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:33, Reply)
*karate pose*

(, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:43, Reply)
*Jesus Christ pose*

(, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:50, Reply)
shu' uuup no you nevurr

(, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:26, Reply)
I drank SO much shandy, I needed to go to the toilet TWICE
It was mental
(, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:27, Reply)
/r/madlads

(, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:37, Reply)
She got yer balls in a vice mate
A vice.
(, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:36, Reply)
oh

(, Thu 12 Oct 2017, 14:57, Reply)