You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Talk » Message 8135199

Up to me to start a new thread, is it?
Righto. Be like that. You fucking cunt's.
(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:18, archived)
I've got a sore throat.
Explain *that*, 'science'
(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:18, archived)
Throat demons, obvs.

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:20, archived)
I KNEW IT

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:22, archived)
They're tricky buggers
You can only get rid of them with a liberal application of chilled beverages, preferably alcoholic.
(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:26, archived)
alright 'my brother'

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:35, archived)
I'm pretty sure i'd notice if I was a bloke
The penis would be a giveaway for starters
(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:58, archived)
Dat dug was like mi breddah.

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 12:14, archived)
DIAGNOSIS: Oral Gonorrhoea
You're welcome
(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:22, archived)
Strange
I had EXACTLY the same text message last night from a random.
(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 12:08, archived)
Random is not a noun.

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 12:27, archived)
GRAMMMARR NAZZZIIII!

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 12:34, archived)
Too much cock down it
Treatment: Cut back on cock in mouth action
(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:25, archived)
but without that, I have nothing to live for

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:36, archived)
You always have your butt

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:43, archived)
I wish

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:48, archived)
Some joker intubated you with the 'ribbed for her pleasure' model.

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:27, archived)
5 pound blowjob, boss?

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:41, archived)
:(((

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:48, archived)
Kissing disease.
You slut, you.
(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:51, archived)
sounds like groblems

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 12:08, archived)
I got 99 groblems

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 12:22, archived)
and a grinch isn't one

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 12:35, archived)
Alright Rico
What is the worst pair of sneakers you have ever bought and why?
(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:22, archived)
Counterfeit Jordan IVs.
Reason: they were counterfeit
(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:35, archived)
yes sarge she had two!!!11!!

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 12:59, archived)
Don't look to me for quality
I am a bit excited that it is a week to go until the Radio Times is on sale.
(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:29, archived)
The people buying my house are coming round tonight to show the parents
they'd better not change their fucking minds, Rich. I swear I'll do time.
(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:33, archived)
why do people do that?
you've seen the house, you're buying it, why do the parents need to see it?
(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:35, archived)
I know, I don't get it
If my mum said she wanted to see it, I'd tell her she can see it when we move in. What's the rush?
(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:36, archived)
exactly

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:39, archived)
some people are right fucken helmits

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:36, archived)
I'm imaging a couple of tyre-kickers, coming in a checking every little dark corner for structural issues

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:38, archived)
I bet they gang rape you

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:42, archived)
Hey, I'll take two at a time if it helps

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:43, archived)
As the parents clearly think the kids are stupid
And before they spend the money they have given them they have to check that their stupid kids are not buying a lemon
(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:38, archived)
oh, don't say that
I'm worried enough as it is
(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:38, archived)
I mean, there's nothing wrong with the place, so it should be fine
but then some of the cunts that came to look at it gave ridiculous reasons for not buying it. See Rich's helmit-related comment above.
(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:39, archived)
I'm sure you are absolutely in the clear
But the parents want to make sure it isn't a boot on the slip of a dual carriageway. As their kids are probably fucking stupid
(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:42, archived)
The upstairs is the wrong size. Stop lying to people

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 12:18, archived)
I hope that doesn't come up in the survey :(

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 12:23, archived)
then the parents should have been there from day one
not suddenly decide to look now
(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:41, archived)
In my experience, as long as the woman has her heart set on it
The only way this could be derailed is if Two Hats turns on the charm
(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:46, archived)
I wish my brother had done this
he bought a house, did all the checks himself because he knew what he was doing "as the son of a builder".

Only showed our Dad after he'd signed the mortgage. The old man spotted the horrendous subsidence before he'd even walked up the driveway.
(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 12:22, archived)
I'll fuck them up for you if they do

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:35, archived)
thanks m8, I knew I could rely on you

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:37, archived)
just sit there in your pants pulling your pud

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:37, archived)
WAY ahead of you

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:38, archived)
my house is a plague pit.
Never in my life had I been as ill as I am, now that I'm a parent.
(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:45, archived)
thoughts and prayers at this difficult time

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:46, archived)
yep
those little fuckers will get you good. Sickness and diarrhoea, colds, etc.
(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:46, archived)
Homeschooling will avoid this nonsense.

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 11:52, archived)
I'm working in a basement and unable to conttibute.

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 12:08, archived)
that's a shame

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 12:10, archived)
^cellar dweller

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 12:23, archived)
cave slave

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 12:25, archived)
Has it rubbed the lotion on its skin?

(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 12:29, archived)
Are you doing work for a guy called Fritzel?
If so, run
(, Tue 5 Dec 2017, 12:31, archived)