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morning

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 7:04, archived)
Hullo

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 7:22, archived)
fancy seeing you here

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 7:24, archived)
soz, I didn't wana smash u r morning thread
it has been established that the London Zoo currently has 19,289 inhabitants
(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:36, archived)
Word.

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 7:33, archived)
Excel-ent

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 7:34, archived)
SuperCalc-Treant

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 7:34, archived)
Awww, I missed Frank.

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 7:53, archived)
waggle your willy and he'll come back

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 7:55, archived)
On it.

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 8:01, archived)
put some effort into it m8, it's like a worm with a cough right now

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 8:10, archived)
this place has been dead on its arse since he left

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 8:54, archived)
What was all that about then
eh?
(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 8:06, archived)
do you know the Epic of Gilgamesh, the /talk edition?

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 8:09, archived)
I know Eric from Gillingham

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 8:46, archived)
I am the god of lurgy
and I bring you
lurgy.
(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 8:15, archived)
fun innit
I coughed so much I vommed over myself yesterday.
(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 8:18, archived)
*vom-coughers high-five*
My body seems to have developed a delightful feedback loop where I wake up completely unable to breathe, blow my nose copiously and am then seized by a violent coughing fit, which blocks my nose up again.
(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 8:22, archived)
yer, that's what I've got
and when I blow my nose it looks like golden syrup
(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 8:28, archived)
Noice.
I'm currently having a cocktail of thyme, ginger, cinnamon, eucalyptus, lemon peel and clove infusions, which my colleagues can smell from the other side of the office but I cannot smell at all, and all I can taste is hot.
(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 8:30, archived)
You went into work like that?
disgusting
(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 8:37, archived)
Not really much choice at the moment.
I've got a three-day 'carence' under my health insurance, which means I have to be off for three days before it officially counts as sick leave, and I've handed in my notice so I'm not allowed to take any non-medical leave during my notice period. So it's a choice between coming in with the lurgy or going AWOL and not getting paid.
(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 8:45, archived)
oh, if it's your old job then fuck em, infect them all
try spitting in all the tupperware boxes in the fridge too
(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 8:47, archived)
Lol, you think we have a fridge.
We've got a kettle and that's it, m8. I might guff in the kettle.
(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:03, archived)
Careful you don't steam your starfish

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:05, archived)
Might be a cheap way to get a deep clean of the old arse-carpet fibres.

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:08, archived)
put some auto glym in your coffee enemas

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:09, archived)
woah

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:14, archived)
I've always wanted to open an anal bleaching salon and call it
Ring Tones
(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:10, archived)
get yourself a paint chart, perhaps after taking the natural colour out a dye could be added
blue bumhole = 5 extra
(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:14, archived)
OMG I can see a rainbow!

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:41, archived)
vg

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:16, archived)
yo

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 8:25, archived)
dollar bizzle all up in the hizzle

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 8:28, archived)
It was extremmely chilling this morning
I did find some winter gloves and they were still not much use against the nippyness in the air. Cycling in was "crisp, but pretty."
(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 8:52, archived)
put stinging nettles in your gloves
the sting will distract you from the cold.
(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 8:57, archived)
They are all frozed

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:00, archived)
let it go m8

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:01, archived)
Not having kids
it took me a few seconds to get the disney reference.
(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:07, archived)
I don't know how you can stand that.
The last time I did any winter cycling, I had to stop every thirty seconds and blow on my fingers to stop the pain. When I cycled across town in the freezing rain a few years ago then got inside and let the circulation return to my toes, I had to bite down on a towel to stop myself screaming.
(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:05, archived)
I grew up in Wales, near the Preseli mountains
the rain doesn't come down vertically, it hits you horizontally. There is no protection from it - the cold and wind gets into your marrow. This here London is a tropical paradise, a little frost is just dainty decoration.
(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:09, archived)
I'm comfortable with admitting that I am jealous of you right now.

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:10, archived)
yeh yeh
that's what I say
(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 8:54, archived)
no it isn't mate, you say mneugh a lot and then drool all over yourself

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 8:57, archived)
Once again, I'm getting a glimpse into what life will be like
when I'm in the care home many years from now.
(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:08, archived)
me drooling all over you?

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:11, archived)
More the commentarry from the nursing staff

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:43, archived)
oui oui

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 8:59, archived)
lol french really is an utterly ridiculous language isn't it

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:01, archived)
I think it's disgusting that they still teach it in schools, you're more likely to need bulgarian or polish, amirite

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:02, archived)
dunno about that
but German or Spanish would be infinitely more useful than a holophrastic leftover of a dead empire.
(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:20, archived)
spanish would let you talk to a lot of the world more easily, so yeah

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:28, archived)
aren't there more French speaking countries than Spanish?

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:30, archived)
In Brazil they speak French with a funny accent.

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:40, archived)
happy 10:01 o'clock CET

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:01, archived)
bottom cet

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:09, archived)
smart move

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:11, archived)
you hyped it up and it was a bit of a let down tbh

(, Thu 8 Feb 2018, 9:27, archived)